Not So Nostalgic OLD Stories: Fake Candle Owner

As I was walking through the mall a few days ago, I just remembered this encounter that I had with a guy from my OLD era. This was pre FDS, and got out of my first relationship, and I just remembered this stupid encounter with this pathological liar. I look back, and it’s funny. I had a, “I can’t believe I fell for that and overlooked it “ moment. Very embarrassing.

For context, we did not work out because I found him to act very suspicious and our final encounter was what lead to me to believe that he’s a pathological liar. This guy had a routine. I spoke to him for three months on Hinge and we eventually moved off the app during the third week. At first, I liked his consistency, but noticed something was off. He would only text me during the night time and never during the day was a 🚩. His responses were always at 11pm sharp and continued into 3am. 🤔 I called him on this jokingly, and I said if there’s something I should know. He immediately got defensive and offended. He explained that his life was busy, and gave me his life story and itinerary 🥴 and how he only gets to “put his feet up” at 11pm. 🥴🥴🥴 Instant cringe and I got my answers from his furious texting which was out of character. I blocked him the next day after a good nights rest. I had some clarity the next morning. My only mistake was texting him saying that I don’t want to talk to him anymore instead of just ending it right there there, I know 🤡 move and rookie mistake.

Anyways, why I’m telling you this story is because while I was walking through the mall a few days ago, and it took me a while to notice that his store was not there anymore. I realized that it hadn’t been for a long time. Apparently, the business wasn’t doing so well since it moved from its prime location, to another part of the mall, and ultimately just disappeared one day. It brought back memories that I find very funny since I was so naive. One of his pathological lies is that he told me he is the co-owner/creator of this artisan candle brand had just opened up at the time. This brand used to be very reputable on Instagram and it had its moment during Covid. You’d would see ads and TikTok’s all the time. I won’t drop the name of the brand because I might get sued, and disclose my location, but I think FDS will be able to figure it out. The gist of why these candles were so popular was because it was like gambling. There were pieces of jewelry put into the wax, and the buyer could potentially get an expensive piece worth thousands of dollars from buying their candles. It was very cutesy since they had a Disney, Harry Potter line, and just expanded into bath bombs. Anwyays, at the time, one of the shops opened up during Covid in my local mall. This guy casually says that he co-owns the brand and starts talking about his success with the brand since it just started taking off. He said that it started out as group effort with his friends from school. He also states that a location was opening at my local mall. I know that he lives about a 40 minute drive from the mall. An idea 💡 pops into my head to test this theory out. I asked him if he was free on the day of the weekend of his “grand opening” without really telling him about my intentions, I just wanted to see how’d he respond as “CEO” of this particular brand and chain. He was thrilled to take me on said date that weekend and asked if there was a particular place I had in mind (this is covert LVM behaviour btw 🥴). I told him that we could go to my local mall, walk around, and drop by his store. He declined and offered to come up with a better idea tomorrow night. 🚩I played dumb and asked if he was going to be at the opening since he lived close to the location. He said no, but if I wanted to get a candle, I could talk to the manager, drop his name and he could give me a discount! Hahahah! 🥴🚩

At the time, I was naiive and my friends at the time (ex friends now) told me that he’s probably a “silent partner”, so they don’t know about him. The brand was huge and they probably don’t know that he co-owns the brand. In addition, they talked about there’s “a chain of command” or protocols that he has to abide by. In addition, I was lead to believe that he’s probably shy and doesn’t want to associated with it and wants people to like him for him. 🥴🤡 I was wrong with thinking like that because if he wanted to lead with that narrative he wouldn’t have said anything about his business.

From my perspective, this is not “CEO behaviour” he does not own the brand and his success story is all bs. If he co-owned the brand, he would have no problem walking into the store because he technically owns the brand. The reason why I know this is because I have dated men who were affiliated with certain brands and own businesses. If he was the real deal, he would have flexed that shit HARD, being that men love to show off and impress women ANY CHANCE THEY GET. I dated business owners and men who were affiliated with brands on a corporate level and they love to bring me to their place of work just to get the opportunity to show off what they’ve built for themselves no matter how small. One example was when I went on a date with a man that owned multiple franchises for a pizza chain within the city. I didn’t really believe him so he showed me his business card, he gave me an extra card (that was made by the company) with certain numbers written, and told me that the next time I wanted pizza, it was on him, and I could use this card and go into any of the franchises and get whatever I liked. Mind you, this literally happened on the first date, I didn’t know the guy well, and I know that he’s trying to impress me. This tells me that if a guy can actually stand behind what they say, they will double down and use their privileges as an opportunity to impress you.

What I learnt from all of this is that, men love the opportunity to talk about their successes and accomplishments. If they were telling you the truth, they’d have no problem showing off their accomplishments to you, because this is an opportunity to brag about it. Yes, men will brag whenever they get the chance to, and some of them will double down to try to impress you. Instead of being annoyed that they’re bragging take this as a sign that they’re telling you truths and praise, and acknowledge their efforts. I feel like this is also a vetting strategy as well. If a guy was telling you the truth of all his accomplishments, he will have tangible proof, will use this as as an opportunity to impress you with his accomplishments. In return, because he told you the truth whether or not you are impressed, his efforts should be acknowledged in the form of a praise. After the date, you can reflect on his accomplishments/desires align with your own trajectories.