Why do guys think that having/wanting an open relationship is unconventional?
No dude, the only difference between you and a cheater, is that you managed to convince the poor pick me liberally foggy minded woman to not guilt you and be agreeable about it.
Awesome, no hiding, no commitment, just regular sausage massage.
Is she also messing around with other men? Probably not.
These men think women are stupid. Why commit to a man like that? I don't understand it. And why do women tolerate it, I feel like they are allowing a degeneration of male behavior by setting a precedent allowing other men to use their example as a convincing argument.
The minute I get a long drawn out text from a man,
alarm bells ring. Do men even do honest communication as a first choice?
It is not unconventional. It is an ode to the darkest times of humanity. When men went hunting and never came back, when groups of men got ripped apart in war and as a result multible women interacted with fewer men to survive and save the group from extinction. It is an ode to religious abusers and extremists who founded cults to groom women and children into polygamy. Men who are pedos and / sexual deviants who don't give a shit about their children's wellbeing and just produce offspring like they are collecting xp for a video game. It is not 'unconventional' to act like a child who cannot stop stuffing candy into it's mouth. It is the most primitive form existing, the most basic inclination and organism could have. And the rest of humanity has worked tirelessly to eliminate the bad circumstances and horrors that made such arrangements come about. Humanity has refined it's thinking, expanded it's knowledge and developed principles and critical thinking that expands further than only looking out for one's individual hedonism. You are not 'unconventional' you are like a blob if cells which has found glucose and think you re-invested the wheel by thoughtlessly consuming it.
I always ask if their wife knows if they're ENM.
I have a ex that wanted to reconcile with me, I guess to prove to me that he "changed" his spots. When I wasn't really having it and I desperately want to move on. I gave him all the chances my pick-me self could. When I shut down and stopped giving into his weak attempts to talk it out even though I was the one that ever said anything of substance- all he could ever communicate was in negs and emojis because "hurrrrr I'm so chill no drama", he started fumbling how it'd be ok if I wanted to keep the connection open and see other men. That disgusted me. I don't need his or anyone's permission to date other men, first of all. And secondly, I was not even interested in keeping him an option anymore. He had initially asked me if I was interested in a FWB relationship, his words "NSA". From what I know, he was dating other women before he decided to reach out, so I was just an option too- hell if I know if he was still involved. Not getting involved in no messy triangles. Last I heard, he started getting interested in going to massage parlors for HE... so to answer your question op, no. Men do not communicate honestly at all. Being offered open relationships is so uncomfortable.