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Disclaimer: the post below is not my own but basically a repost of one of my favorites from the Reddit page.
Original post:
"I've seen so many women in my life try to save money for their man or refuse to let the man pay for them, and accept shitty, low effort gifts and surprises. They even spen MORE on him than vice versa. If he is unwilling to spend money on your or you help him save as much money as you can for him, this in no way benefits you, it only benefits him. Men who love and care about you will want to make you happy, and won't ever complain about spending on you. My mother always taught me, "if you help a man save money, you're only helping him save money to spend on another woman sooner or later".
My commentary:
This used to be me in my past/only relationship but NEVER again. Fuck (not LITERALLY) stingy scrotes or men who are hesitate to spend money on you generally. They won't spare a penny when it comes to their dumbass gaming set-up, so why would you think they would when it come to their dream chick? Unless of course he doesn't actually see her that way. Men turn to murder if they (feel they) can't get a woman (Elliot Rodger e.g.), so why would they hesitate to spend money to get one if they can afford it? Hell, even if they can't afford it, there are homeless men who scrap together their last few pennies just to hire a hooker for the night.
Will share a personal story of my own. When I first started dating my ex, I made it very clear to him that I wasn't ready to have sex any time soon (I was/still technically lol am a virgin). Being a scrote (unknowest to me), he would act like he was fine with that, but then the next day keep pressuring me and ask when it was going to happen. He kept chipping at me and I thought that I subconciously thought that I might lose him (LOL), if I didn't do it soon. So I told him that I wanted to lose my virginity but only at the St. Regis hotel and the room I wanted was about $4000 a night. But because I wanted to "cut him a break", I settled on the cheapest room there (about $800). Won't go into details but the scrote could barely get hard (turns out he was pornsick), then blamed and yelled at my for not "opening my legs enough", and cherry on top of the cake? He tried to stealth me, and then played dumb when I noticed, "The condom just accidentally fell off!". That may have been believable to my naive ass at the time if he wasn't only interested in doing it with me facing down (again, porn sick). Every time I tried to turn and face him, he wouldn't let me.
When I realize he tried to stealth me (again, we didn't actually have sex cuz he COULDN'T), I began crying and he didn't even care I was upset. A few minutes later, I felt like I was overreacting so I can out of the bathroom and he basically said to me that "It's okay" that I had an overreaction, and he "forgave ME".
And afterwards, I even send him back about $500 (to cover half the room and part of the dinner and breakfast we had at the hotel). He told me that I "didn't have too", but I did so because I was a "Cool girl", and even felt bad if he were to have spent all that money on me. EVEN AFTER WHAT HE DID.
MY main point is that even though someone being pushy for sex is a sign they don't like you in itself and needs to be blocked/deleted- if I had just held the boundary FIRM of wanting the $4000 room, then he literally couldn't have even afforded to get that room, and I would have avoided such a shitty experience.
Also not that he was ever generous with his money toward me, but before this he used to at least order take out and such for me and him when we would hang at his house. It may surprise you to hear that he was never interested in actually taking me OUT... NOT. But of course, that's 100% on me for accepting that treatment. But after what I mentioned above, he stopped even doing THAT. If I was over at him place and said I was hungry, he would tell ME to order something (that he would be eating too). Or if we would go out once in a blue moon, before that, I would just transfer him half from the dates without him asking/expecting. After that, he would straight up say to the waiter that we are "splitting" it. One time I didn't even have enough cash on me and both him and the waiter were staring at me as I had to pay part cash and part card when he easily could've just paid the whole fucking thing. But we all know scrotes (particularily pornsick ones) LOVE humiliating women.
Also I was/am a student, and he was working a full time, well paying job.
When I was away at school, I asked him occassionally if he could send me money so I could afford groceries, and he called me a "gold digger" and accused me of "using him for his money". His money which he never even ever spent on me.
This was also after he had promised to send me money for stuff like that while I was away (I never asked this of him, he offered but didn't mean it of course lol).
He would also sometimes ask ME to send him money so he could order uber eats, and he would say that he didn't have money in his account- only cash (he worked for cash only). I never did that at least though.
So if you give me an inch, he will take a mile. If you don't let him spend on you, you're telling him that you don't even believe you're worth his money so why should he think so?
Brief self-own story for laughs: during my brief foray into sugar dating I both (1) paid back a guy because I dumped him right after he gave me "monthly allowance", (2) got him a more expensive Christmas gift than the "bonus" he gave me 🤡🤡🤡
Anyway, yeah, don't spend money on men. I have never spent money on anything when with my boyfriend (dinner, tickets, hotels, whatever). Except one time when when it was just more convenient to use grubhub on my phone instead of his. Then he felt bad about it and paid me back for it (plus extra because it would've been equally cringey to ask for change).
When I tell him about taking my friend on a girls night out because she's feeling down he says "oh that's great!" and gives me money to take us both out.
If I mention any item that might be of use to me in passing (a lawnmower, a book I heard was interesting, an event at the state fair), that item/tickets magically appears at my house.
This has been consistent over 2 years. The same 2 years I've had sex when I feel like, have cooked for him exactly once (would be twice but he told me to relax and took over), and have never cleaned or done any housework for him.
He also still pays for everything for his kid and (independently wealthy) ex wife.
And literally just sees it as a default. At the beginning I offered a few times and asked "are you sure..." about things because it was so uncomfortable and he was genuinely confused by the offer/question.
They do exist! It is not unrealistic.
Great post. Men certainly don't feel bad about leading women on and using them for sex, wasting years of their life only to dump them. They further feel entitled to a free incubator, free mommy bangmaid, chef, nanny and the list goes on. Men can make Money back, but WOMEN can't take back years of your life men are comfortable wasting. And then you're dead and the best years of your life when wasted on a scrote. The risks are incomparable between the genders because women are so vulnerable. Spending a man's money is the bare minimum you're entitled to and incomparable to what men use women for.
I've known this from a young age. My mother knew my father was visiting prostitutes. She literally told me to always buy whatever I want when I went out shopping or running errands with him because if he won't spend on me he'll spend on the prostitute(s).
men should pay extra taxes just for having a penis. after all, they mostly use it as a weapon against women and children.
I've felt this way for the last 15 years.
If a man earns a decent salary and doesn't spend it on you, he is sure as hell spending it on other women/porn/drugs/video games/his car. I have never been wrong about this.
Even broke men spend more than they can afford on things they really want. My ex scoffed at getting rid of a roommate because his own rent would have gone from 900 a month to 1200. Even though he hated the roommate. But no problem spending 800+ a month on video games and magic the gathering cards, weed and bongs, and for some reason getting a special cleaning of his earwax because some podcaster I think joe rogan told his listeners to. Men really do put their money into what matters to them.
Oh and another ex of mine is 48 and I recently found out he is still is living in one of those buildings that's like an illegal collective (look up ghost ship fire that happened in Oakland a few years back, it is much like that where it's not safe to live in and advertised as an artists collective and is just a warehouse shared among lots of people) he pays like 600 a month but pays twice that or more in storage units to store his massive collections of hot wheels cars and comic books.
A man spending on you is a great way to vet for many reasons, one of them being that he has sound priorities and isn't addicted to childish hobbies or drugs or prostitutes or gambling or whatever else he may value above real-life relationships. I definitely won't date someone who thinks meeting his xp challenge in some video game is more important and urgent than the value he places in spending quality time with me and investing in my happiness, ever again.
I’m aware it’s usually not in a woman’s best interest to have an FWB, but I did for awhile this year, after leaving a long marriage. He took me on two vacations and I paid for very little. He got the hotels, airfare, and most meals (I treated him to lunch twice). And it wasn’t a sugar dating setup either.
Thing is, now I’m dating for a long term commitment, the cheapness exuding from a lot of these dudes is just jarring. Like these men are looking for a partner to build a life with (supposedly) but they can’t be arsed to spend $50 on a meal?
What’s worse, is I did find someone I liked only to find out later he lied on the dating app about having a college degree. When I questioned him, he said he “used to hang out by a college “ then hurried and changed his education level in his profile 🧐 and the majors he professed to have he got in high school.
I won’t lie, some days I feel like putting the dating for long term on hold, and go back to the FWB.