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It's often said on FDS that (low value) men don't respond to communication, they respond to consequences.
This is why we urge women to remove yourself and what you provide rather than send him 7 paragraphs about your feelings to beg for basic respect and decency.
To avoid such mindless men that only react to imminent consequences, you must look at his values and moral system and what it is based on. Low value men look to skirt boundaries for their personal gain in every aspect of their lives. These men are soulless and empty inside with no emotional depth, nor capacity for reflection or critical thinking on their actions and thoughts. Their actions are based on primal and hedonistic motivations. They are prone to addictions not limited to pornography, drugs, alcohol, overeating. They have no standards for themselves and others because it is easier to go with the flow and let things slide than be actively critical and questioning of what they are told.
These are the men that steal when an opportunity arises, leave messes in public and refuse to exercise restraint even if it means hurting somebody unfairly. Pertaining to dating, they use women for sex because "she's a slut, how can I say no?", lust over 18 year olds because it's legal, watch porn depicting disgusting things because they can, practise degrading and violent sex because she "consented", etc.
The only thing restraining them? Consequences, usually legal.
I find more women to have an intrinsic desire to do right by everyone (even to our detriment).
Before you label a man to be good, carefully evaluate where his sense of right and wrong comes from, and his major drives. Is there any attempt at critical analysis of his beliefs? Does he care about how his words/actions affect others or is it just about him? Does he believe in fairness and proportionality or does he just want to vent rage at someone without restraint?
Below is a fantastic post from the FDS subreddit I have previously copied into my notes app. Unfortunately I can't credit the original author because of this.
If his idea of morality is based on… • Whether or not it’s legal, • Whether or not most people do it, • Whether or not it doesn’t hurt anyone, • Whether or not it’s natural, • Whether or not it’s socially acceptable, • Whether or not it’s “not a big deal,” • Whether or not it’s “getting even,” It’s a hard pass. These men are incapable of critical thinking or, barring that, use the above as excuses for their poor behavior. “It’s totally fine a 30 year old dude is dating an 18 year old, it’s legal” or “I cheated but she didn’t find out - what you don’t know won’t kill you” or “I watch porn, so what, all men do!” or “I flirted with my coworker but nothing happened so it’s not a big deal” or “I stole from my employer after they fired me” or “so what I forgot her birthday, it’s not a big deal.” These men are dumb, shallow, heartless, conceited, or manipulative, or some combination of all of the above. These men use “ethics” where it suits them and their “true” sense of morality can seemingly change from day to day. These dudes will cheat on you and say “well it’s legal / not a big deal / everyone does it” one day, then when you ghost them for cheating, go “I don’t care if it’s legal, it’s wrong! She should have told me why! I don’t care that most people do it!” Men should be FIRM in, and CRITICAL of, their sense of ethics and morality. How many men have you seen that operate exactly as the above post describes? This type of immoral behaviour is pervasive and insidious. These guys will rape or coerce you and say "she didn't say no/she didn't fight, therefore it's not illegal and rape" instead of having the presence of mind and morality to actually pay attention and ask themselves "Is it right to do this to a person?" When the Ukraine war broke out, there were men fantasising about preying on vulnerable women fleeing from their country. Just the smallest amount of leverage and these men were quick to take advantage for their gain. This makes me wonder if the only thing stopping many men from raping are the social and legal ramifications. There already exists a disregard for the other person's comfort and feelings for his pleasure. Is it a stretch to posit that such men would rape if they were not stopped? And note that even though a guy might talk big game about having "principles" , he might throw them out the window as soon as it benefits him to do so.
For example, woke leftist men will preach peace and compassion for all then call a woman that disagrees with him a terf b*tch c*nt that deserves to be raped and lit on fire. There are no social consequences for this hypocrisy so he will continue. Such is the nature of the vacuous low value man.
Thank you for your thoughtful post. It was well done and a good reminder. Every word was true, all good points. there has to be a true moral code and value system. I read a book called ”How to avoid falling in love with a jerk” (It’s by a Christian author not preachy though, very practical), and he talked about looking for conscience in a partner. He mentioned how conscience is often completely looked over whne selecting a mate but it may be the single most important quality. He insists on chemistry too but I liked what he said about making sure conscience was present. Without it, there’s no limits to the damage that person may do.
I’m not out off by dating, but I’m actually feeling more confident because I feel good about my standards and boundaries after finding FDS. It may take more time, but at least I don’t feel bad about drawing lines anymore.
Yeah I think most men would rape, I think they know it's rape when they lie about their intentions to "get pussy" and so they've gaslighted us all into accepting that it's not. If you said yes to someone and they were lying, that's a trauma that every woman has been through countless times when you lives as a pick-me, pretending men and women are indeed equal. It's not illegal but it's rape and they know it, and "in nature" I'm sure other men would ensure there were consequences.
I don't care to analyze scrote psychology, it's exhausting, just block when you see an inkling of this and move
Every time I decide to open up to dating again…I have to fight off this instinct to not be repulsed with men in general…to make it even possible to date at all! Men literally talk about pursuing “pussy.” They reduce us to a body part. And no one calls them out on it, ever. They don’t say pursuing “women” and I’m not even sure how to get past the fact that men are disgusting to me and yet I’m part of a female dating strategy sub bc I want to be open to dating. Your post just reminded me of what’s out there and I’m struggling.
It reminds me of the atrocities committed by Serbian men living on Bosnia and Herzegovina during the Bosnian genocide. A Bosnian woman who worked at a doctors’ office with Serbian men said that one day she came in to work and they decided to rape her. That she‘d been working with them for years, and they always acted socially acceptably, but as soon as they were at war, who they really were came out.