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Does anyone else have guys telling you shouldn’t date men who play certain sports or do certain things. Things that aren’t inherently red flags, but then they tell you that all their friends do it, or they have a picture of themselves doing it on social media. I have even had a guy tell me not to date anyone with their name when it’s spelled differently. Back when I was more of a pickme this would happen constantly. I kept getting the same advice expressed in the same way and I never understood it until that advice was rephrased in a way that actually made sense from a woman’s perspective. The advice was that I shouldn’t be dating the guy who was currently giving me his advice. He was trying to warn me not to date men like him to ease his conscious, but doing it in a way that was so vague that I wouldn’t figure out that I should block and delete him.
tldr: when men tell you who they are, listen to them
"Knowing your place" and "shutting the fudge up" are skills that most men do not posses. And men that don't have these skills tend to be embarrassing and boundary pushers. Straight men can give us a perspective but they don't have actual experience. And no human is altruistic so most of the time when men are trying to give me advice it is to make themselves feel better. For example, its hilarious how often married men DM me on my insta to try to argue with me about my standards and give me info about how they make it work with their wife. I want to ask, "Does your wife know that you are writing to me? Can you have her send a letter of recommendation? Don't you have more important things to do than argue with a single woman online?" But I block per FDS cause...
This is great, and I immediately thought back to an instance which reminded me of your theory. He was driving me, I suggested we go to the fast lane so we could get there faster (he wanted to get there fast too), but he started rambling about what he thought "Murphy's Law" was, incorrectly using it to explain that going into the fast lane was going to make the lane we were just in the "fast lane." I was going to say, that's not Murphy's Law but I just kept quiet lol. Needless to say he was a giant scrote who I ghosted after replying haha to his angry text about me ghosting him.