Men redirecting the conversation to their trauma

This was your mistake:

”Last night I told a guy that I had just reported my ex to the police because of the shit he did to me.”

FDS teaches us not to share our traumas and ex drama with men because they’ll us it as an excuse to abuse you, trauma dump, or trauma bond with you. We tell men all our past relationships were peachy and we were treated like queens —even if it’s a big fat lie.

NEVER tell a man that another guy abused you, EVER.

Never share your traumas or mishaps or how bad your life is to men. Ever. They don't give a fuck. If anything, they'll use it as an excuse to abuse the shit out of you. They don't respect ~damaged goods~, after all. If you feel the need to vent about your traumas, get a (FEMALE) counselor or a therapist. They are trained to do so.

That’s why I don’t talk to men about anything I’m having a hard time with. They’ll try to make it about themselves, then turn around and mansplain my own trauma to me. Back when I was in college, I casually told a guy I’d only recently met about how I was changing majors, and how frustrated I was that I’d spent a lot of time on something that didn’t work out for me. He went and likened my situation to a recent breakup of his (huh?), and said “you’re in the same place I was a few months ago. It’ll pass, but you have to come to terms with the fact that things will never be the same. It’s almost like a part of you has died, and you’re a different person now. If you ever need someone to help you through it, I’m here.” Why would I ask a man who was not over his last girlfriend (to the point that he needed to trauma dump onto near strangers) for help getting caught up in my new major? LVM are so self-centered that they can’t stand something not being about themselves for two minutes.

Typical male self centeredness. Avoid like plague. It's also a diversion tactic for when they don't want to be held accountable for something. One of the most off putting things that a man can possibly do.

Also, the sheer act of reading this post title enrages me, as this happened twice over the summer with my ex narcissist when I tried to hold him accountable for his abuse and he kept redirecting the whole thing on his own issues to the point where he made it look I was abusing him. Pure manipulation, and a very common type.

Never, ever, EVER give a pass to a man who plays the trauma card. In fact, it's a giant red flag.

I remember when I was 18 (long time ago), I was absolutely devastated after I learned that my father just had a baby (with a woman he left my mother for).. it was a terrible moment.

I told my then boyfriend, and, he offered his own "woe," namely that his two years younger sister "currently has a cold."

I'm not shitting.

Your situation seems similar - you're going through something incredibly traumatic and he's feeling bad about not being the center of attention so he offers his own pitiful "trauma." Screw him.

Most of the time i think they're trying to relate. Sometimes we can relate, but often their examples are bad/not really comparable. "Someone said something mean to me one singular time in my life" "I asked out the hottest girl in school and got rejected" "My family only goes on vacation twice a year and sometimes my dad tries to teach me stuff."

The worst however are the ones who relate to the perpetrator of your abuse. I can't ever ignore that again, not even in acquaintances.

DO NOT share your traumas with men. Especially scrotes you’re vetting, with the exception of blood-in-water.