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As much as this made me laugh and ignoring the fact that this refers to women fake flirting with men, this is something that men do a lot that really grinds my gears. They'll flirt with a woman then be shocked 😳 when she reciprocates interest.
I've learnt not to take men's interest seriously anymore since it's always perfomative and used for some nefarious reason like wanting an ego boost, sex, attention, etc.
" I tell a lot of people that I love them, doesn't mean I'm romantically interested in them. I just genuinely care about them as a friend."
* flirts heavily*
"Yea that's how I treat all my friends "
*deeply personal compliments *
"All my friends are beautiful people deserving of love. Love you my friend"
Back when I didn't know any better and was too naive, this guy took me out on dates, we kissed and made out, he told me he loves me. Then couple weeks later claims that his love for me is like that for a sister. And that I misunderstood him big time 👀👀👀👀👀
Like, bro, you french kiss your sister too??
Ugh! This happened to me. I started dating this guy who seemed to be head over heels for me. He was constantly texting me. This was when I was in a pretty intense accelerated nursing assistant program. We were not allowed to have our phones on us at all, and we had a test every day so I had a lot of studying to do. He would get all miffed that I didn't text him back, so we made an agreement that I would at least send him texts every morning. At first, when I started doing this he seemed so grateful. But gradually I was getting left on read and he started acting like I was some weird stalker.
No more texting for me. I will straight up refuse.
They don't want you. They just want to know that they could "get" you and you would let them. It's twisted. It has nothing to do with you. It's about him using you to get validation and ego hits like he would use any other object or tool. It is about his ego, period. This is what the vast majority of men want, I think. There is really something wrong with them.
One of the best books I've ever read, which also happens to be in the top five of the fds handbook book recommendations, THE RULES... They say that Men at work especially but men in general will think absolutely nothing of harmless flirting so to speak. It's like a sport or a video game, unless he's asking you out, he's not interested. Plenty of men flirt at work and it means literally absolutely nothing. That book saved me a world of hurt
Three times I've had guys seem super interested in me only to find out they had a girlfriend and were hoping to triangulate her with me as their "super close best friend". Every time it happened I ended up becoming friends with their girlfriend and staying friends with them over a decade later (while ghosting the guy because invariably he fucked the girl over at some point).