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I know, I know... we rant about this every few weeks but holy shit it still drives me up the walls.
I went to a really nice wedding reception yesterday evening. It was a beautiful and moving ceremony and wonderful evening. The venue was a fancy five star hotel and the invitation even specified the dressode as black tie (which I first found kind of unnecessary because what the hell else would you wear to a wedding reception in a five star hotel? A bathing suit?).
And - believe me - the women and girls all looked like princesses. Wonderful dresses, fancy pantsuits, a floor length lilac silk skirt with a pearl belt that made me want to weep. Not just the bride (who was absolutely stunning and I am not just saying this because she is a close friend), but every single woman and girl there looked wonderful and I didn't see a single one who didn't follow the dresscode or who appeared underdressed.
But the men... yeah. We are used to seeing ogre-like men being with beautiful women who are way out of their league but even an ogre can wear a decent outfit to a wedding... or not. And I am not even talking about something like a nice suit that isn't strictly black tie (which is actually only the classic "black tuxedo, white shirt, black bow tie, black leather shoes"- combination). It was way, way worse. I saw jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, an old, worn leather jacket (indoors... in the evening...?!)...
Imagine dressing up in your most beautiful gown, wearing your nicest jewellery, spending hours doing your hair and make-up just right ... and the guy who picks you up to go to your friend's wedding wears ratty jeans and looks like he is about to go do some yardwork. Why on earth does any woman put up with this?
What kind of adult man doesn't own a decent suit? And even if he doesn't: why doesn't he even have the decency to rent, borrow or buy one for an event like this? Aren't they ashamed to look like a homeless person who just wandered in while their girlfriend or wife looks like a queen?
I know, I know: they don't give a fuck. But still... damn.
These men are showing their narcissism by feeling they can wear what they want to a wedding with a strict dress code. The guy that @erythrura mentioned that think it's "entitled and rude of wedding celebrants, to expect men to buy suits for weddings" is talking rubbish. Would he not buy a good suit for an interview to get his dream job? Again, if men want to, they will. If he had to meet his celebrity crush or meet the president of a country, he would make the effort.
These men show that they don’t care to conform to society’s rules which is a giant red flag 🚩
No they aren't ashamed. I look at men in the 50s and 40s and at least they had some idea of decorum because it's what made a man a man. These days these men are more like lost boys and are LAZY AF because society told them they won't have to do anything to be guaranteed pussy.
"Aren't they ashamed?" Why should they? Did they suffer any consequences? Did they invite negative comments about their apparel (beside a post on FDS)? Stares? Did their partners simply break up with them on the spot when they picked them up dressed like that? Apparently no. In fact, assuming you're talking about multiple men in this post, each of them knew he was in good company, reinforcing his belief that dress codes are uninportant suggestions. So where exactly would the shame come from?
"What kind of adult man doesn't own a decent suit?"
My impression is, millennials and younger. It's not an individual thing. Few things ever discussed here are. The culture as a whole really took a bad turn. Millennials really chafe against things like dresscodes and other stuff they see as performative adulting. And when opinion piece upon opinion piece came out dragging millennial men as lazy manchildren, well, we all know what happened. "ok, boomer". So I expect most of them not only do not feel any shame but feel perfectly justified in ignoring boomer formal stuff instead of just doing what feels comfortable.
Ok, you might say, but their girlfriends were dressed like queens. Shouldn't they start to question themselves at some point? Not at all. You look at a gorgeous, elegantly dressed woman and you see effort and thoughtfulness and style. Men instead just think they naturally like looking good. I think their thought process is something like "She's a girl, she *likes* dressing up and putting make up. It's a feminine thing. Me, I'm comfortable being comfortable. We're both doing what we like". And I'm pretty sure there's no shortage of pickmes who would validate this train of thought.
OMG this. I was out for dinner last night in an upmarket Vietnamese restaurant and the number of grown men I saw sitting there in scruffy jeans, hoodies and trainers was appalling.
There is no excuse whatsoever. Recently I've made a mini-project out of upgrading my wardrobe to be more professional and befitting of a woman nearing 40, and whilst out shopping I discovered that it was not at all easy to find classy but affordable tailoring for women (got there in the end, thankfully!). Men's tailoring, on the other hand, abounded. There were at least several whole shops dedicated to nothing but men's tailoring in each shopping centre I went to, and in some cases, such as in dedicated outlets, it was so affordable that a stylish and good quality three-piece suit could be had for under £100. The same could not be said for any of the relatively few options that were available to me. So the next time I hear any men bemoaning that fact that they can't dress well because it's too expensive/there's nothing out there for them or that women have it easier/men are unfairly discriminated against because we have more choice in clothing and shoes I will fucking scream. No, the evidence I encountered across several shopping trips plainly says otherwise. They are not even TRYING and it is absolutely infuriating.
Damn....even my dad had a suit for occasions. He also never left the house dressed like a slob.
I wouldn't attend a black tie event with a man slob. I'd drive myself.
That is insanely disrespectful to the couple. I would kick them out in anger if I was them