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Some backstory about him:
I’m a 38-year-old male lawyer living in Toronto making between $120,000 and $140,000 per year. (Only $120k a year and complaining about dating without going broke. Wow, how many dates is he going on?)
I got out of a 4-year relationship around 6 months ago (Men get over relationships fast, don't they?)
I’m feeling a bit lonely (I NEED SEX)
whenever I think about dating again, I start to have some anxiety in relation to the financial component (I need to go on a lot of dates to find any woman who will let me have sex with her, but I don't want to pay for a prostitute. Again, this man is making 120k A YEAR.)
I have no plans of dating a ‘gold digger’ (Oh look, it's men's worst fear, the magical gold digger. Men have such a love/hate relationship with her, right? When you're poor, you hate her. When you're rich, you marry her. Men just hate that they can't afford her.)
However, my primary concern is that dating, especially in the early stages, costs money (Fucking duh. Don't date if you're broke. Maybe just concentrate your efforts on one woman instead of dating any woman who will take you and fuck you? Nah, just go with the undiscerning method of casting a wide net.)
Let's check out the low effort answers!
Coffee shop dates are fun and affordable. I just meet them at a neighbourhood Starbucks or Second Cup. But definitely DO NOT take them on a coffee date to a Tims or McDonalds. (Someone's got standards /s)
you’re 38 in Toronto and can’t figure out good free date ideas? (Someone's actually calling him out, which is nice)
Remember, the true goal of dating is a filtering out, not maximizing hits. The faster you learn you're not a good match, the less time/energy you wasted. (Also a good point that the original poster overlooks)
38F here. First dates should always be low-key like coffees and walks. (Here comes a pickme to validate the LVM.)
35f and agreed 100%. I'm a fairly frugal person and it's a turnoff to me when someone takes me on a fancy date. (The pickmes really coming out of the woodwork here, they have a radar for when a man is trying to lower women's standards)
A buddy of mine bought himself an annual pass to our local museum specifically for dates. He’s seen the exhibits so many times by now but it’s a huge hit for a first date! (Life pro tip for scrotes there, buy in bulk to impress the ladies, doesn't matter if the LVM bores himself on the date as long as he passes the vetting process)
It's easy, OP! Be honest and explain to your date that you're only making 120k-140k per year, and therefore you'd appreciate it if the first date, and actually getting to experience things together afterwards have to be strictly on budget. I'm sure she'll understand. Hell, maybe you'll meet someone who's not cheap and can afford to pay for you! (I appreciate the sarcasm in this post, even as it will go over the heads of LVM)
What all those losers don't realize is that the main problem here is not dates being expensive. It's that they don't see us as individuals and human beings and therefore don't even bother vet for basic compatibility before asking someone out on a date. Thus the feeling to "waste their money" because most dates don't turn into sex or a relationship.
Let me elaborate:
For men to agree to a date with a women only two conditions need to be fulfilled:
a) he would fuck her
b) she agrees to go on a date with him
That's it. Nothing else. They don't date individuals. They play a numbers game. That's why - instead of vetting for basic compatibility, shared life goals or values, actually liking each other ... which would reduce the number of women they would go on dates with - they would rather date 5 random strangers a week hoping one will be dumb enough to fall for them. And if not: No worries, there will be 5 more random strangers next week.
It's not...
"I am so glad Melissa agreed to go on a date with me. I like her so much and will do everything in my power to win her over and leave the best impression possible! What's spending $100 on a date if it means the chance to finally get the love of your life and a compatible long-term partner?"
It's ...
"Well if Whatshername1 doesn't put out, there's still Whatshername2-15. Maybe on of them will. And I can't afford to spend more than $10 per date if I have 10 of them in two weeks."
If you actually vet, there is no way you will have enough dates a month to have to worry about going broke if you pay $100 for each of them. Especially not with the amount that guy is making. But they don't.
Well, I hope those women got picked by him.
Jk. I don't want more women suffering at the hands of men but they need to wake tf up
Lol, you know they’re so fucking cheap when they complain about relationships/dating cost money. Like DUH, ALL relationships cost money. Christmas gifts? Birthdays? Celebrations? All of that costs money. And even if you don’t give gifts or treat your friends/family (ew), you still spend money by going out to eat with them, go to events, vacation, gas/transportation. Stuff you normally wouldn’t do by yourself. And if you aren’t spending money, it still costs time and effort.
Yikes, dating should cost money for the guy. If you can't afford a date you can't afford to provide for a wife and kids.
Also, the museum thing made me laugh. I actually got a free membership to multiple museums in my city through volunteering. Going to one on my list is almost a part of my vetting process these days. Boring shallow guys walk through looking at the pretty exhibits while the intelligent guys (my type) have personal knowledge and cool stories to contribute.
He definitely went 50/ 50 in his last relationship. If my bf and I broke up and he started dating again it would hardly be a financial hit for him because he's used to paying for me when he go out so paying on dates wouldn't be any different. This guy clearly wasn't taking his gf out on weekly date nights