Just woke up to ghosting!

I think some people really do rely on their validation and self-esteem through OLD and social media, whether it’s consciously or not. It’s quite tragic and unhealthy.

Yep. And this is precisely why we need to stop allowing ourselves to be used as light entertainment on apps. Not our problem if scrotes’ lives and personalities are so empty and unbearable that they can’t function without constant distraction, like small needy children.

A former friend was on online dating to see what was “out there”. But she had no intention of going on any dates and would just chat with guys for practice. I assume that a lot of men do this, too. Especially men that are batting out of their league.

If all women left OLD for a month the dating landscape would shift globally. Men are not supposed to have such unfettered access to a bevy of women at any given time. It’s unnatural and leads to very poor outcomes. Even kings and princes were limited to eligible women within their immediate vicinity, and still needed to work very hard for their attention.

Now you can set up an account and match with women across the world. Dating apps promote the commodification of women at scale, and foster entitlement and choice paralysis among men who see dating platforms as an endless supply of sex/women.

Anyone can run this experiment, but I daresay the exact same man would treat the exact same woman differently if he met her IRL v OLD. I just don’t think men are in their best form when sexual access is so easy, or at they have the perception of sexual access being easy.

It's a dream of mine to see the dating landscape shift globally.

I’m curious about this as well. I spent time in a city that was urban and walkable with very little OlD culture and got approached a lot more by men than when I was in LA- a commuter city known for trash dating culture. Part of it was exposure and the other part of it was men not thinking “well, I’ll just get online later and find someone vs being proactive now and starting a conversation.”

Also, men with terrible social skills created the online world and now everyone’s social skills are tanking.

Oh, definitely. It doesn’t have to be a binary, ‘either/or‘ kind of situation at all, finding other things more interesting to the point of consciously and deliberately choosing to opt out was just where I happened to find myself most comfortably falling on that spectrum, particularly given how deeply entrenched booze and pub culture is around here and how inextricably tied it is to general lowlife/scrote culture. It feels far safer as even people - or, let’s be honest, guys - who aren’t (or claim not to be) regular, habitual drinkers by local standards often still turn out to have hugely problematic relationships with alcohol and various other things once you scratch the surface, and I just don’t want to be around any of that any more. I appreciate that it’s different for everyone though, and that a hardline stance such as mine isn’t always necessary or appropriate.

4 of us sounds a good start but I agree, I wish there were more of us generally. Being awash in a sea of terminally underwhelming scrotes and the pickmes who still doggedly pander to them in spite of being repeatedly fucked over absolutely sucks, and that holds whether you’re in the city or the countryside. *hugs* I really wish I had something more constructive to offer than that but it’s all I’ve got right now. 🖤

Men who are dishonest with themselves, will never honestly admit that drink is one reason for their problems. Yeah I compromised and tried to make friends with that culture for 4 years during college. I'm in southern Ireland. Selfishness is not something I want in my life anymore either. I don't know why there isn't more of us. It's not like drink drugs smokes are a cheap lifestyle. Yeah same here 💖 you'd wish people would become more aware in everything 🖤

Just wondering, if the four of us have similar hobbies... Seeing as we have similar outlook on life and lifestyles, wondering how similar are we.. I like growing fruit veg herbs to cook with as well as medicinally, I keep a rare breed of chicken for eggs and hoping to go to shows soon, I'm interested in off grid independent life and helping wildlife, I'm into crafting various random things eg this is my first year making a Halloween wreath, I love home renovation seeing something created renewed or maintained, I loved my malamutes before the last one died I had them all trained to pull a sled coz I wanted to race Fairbanks to Nome, still haven't done that one and might not if I go blind sooner but I'm glad I had an experience with my dogs.

I have an idea to open a board games cafe by day and dance hall n arcade by night, nothing like staying out or up until 6 in the morning coz I like sleep lol in my comfy bed but a place for non drinkers, the kind that aren't just sober for a while, coz there's literally no place for our kind to meet same nearby. (There you go, they say not to voice your ideas coz they'll never succeed or someone will rob them lol but I've been dreaming of this one since a teenager and I've no money to start yet so if someone else gets there before me at least I'll have their place to go to) There are other hobbies but those are what come to mind.

Being online was so bad for my mental health. I was always “waiting for the other shoe to drop”- and it usually did with a coffee invite or sexual innuendo.

It isn’t healthy to have to EXPECT demoralization in the hopes of finding love. At least with a lottery ticket, I expect to NOT win AND I don’t get abused/ghosted/manipulated when buying a ticket.🤷🏽‍♀️

I just don’t think that attractive, financially stable men NEED online dating. They are on online dating because they‘ve dated everyone in their social circle or they are looking to cheat or for casual sex.🤷🏽‍♀️

More women should do this in my country but women here normalise abusive behaviour too much and give 'chances'. I also suspect the dating sites wouldn't remove coz they already provide zero protection online. The block button doesn't count in my view.

💖 I really hate when women have to apologize for a man 💖 not having a go at you sol 💖 men are pathetic. I don't see the point to OLD anymore. Too many incels and misogynists playing childish games with life. Women should leave OLD in their droves.

I like your take. AND I theorize that we should not take the sting out of rejection or use euphemistic words. When I get rejected by people( even on micro level- like a potential friend leaving me on read), I feel anger and disappointment and it reminds me to reinforce my boundaries and be picky about who I entertain.

If we ignore the R word, we might allow people to continue to disrespect us or not look at the reasons why we were rejected. (Eg, back in my free emotional labor days I explained to a man that the way he ate food might be why women were rejecting him).

OP- you did nothing wrong but reconsider how much time you spend on a man pre- date.😘