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My cousin (beautiful, talented, educated, successful) went dumpster diving on OLD and found a scrote (short, derpy, works minimum wage job). Things moved quickly. At 3 months, they took couples pics. She looked like a supermodel in a flowy dress, while he was unshaven and wearing a wrinkly shirt. She sang his praises on Facebook, saying things like, "How did I ever get so lucky?"
Today, six months into their relationship, I get the call. Scrote hit her! Left a nasty bruise and all. So she dumped him (yay!) BUT she has decided to continue to be friends with him (BOOO!) and support HIM through this (?) She also said she chose not to tell anyone because she know how much that would hurt HIM.
Queens, I just CAN. NOT. with this! I tried so hard to talk some sense into her, but she was so resistant. She got so mad at me, saying she'd already broken up with him, and she's not a "mean person". I don't want to break down the line of communication, because I'm the only one she's told about this. But we all know what's going to happen-she's going to take him back, and he's going to hit her again.
6 months. I shudder to think what he'll do next.
Breaking up with someone for hitting you is the bare minimum ffs, its not "mean." I wish she could wake up and press charges. Shes probably still in a fawn mode since he hit her poor girl.
“She dumped him (yay!) but she has decided to continue to be friends with him (BOOO!)". Queen I’m sorry, this situation really sucks but I couldn’t help but chuckle at your expression. I actually find it MORE frustrating when they’re soooo close to getting it.
Shame she doesn’t understand that “breaking up” like that isn’t enough. He still has access and power over her even if they’re not dating, and seems she’s still attached to him.
Just emphasise how much you care for her safety/well-being, and that what she's dealt with is outright ABUSE, so that maybe she realises how much danger she’s in. Don't push too hard in case she ends up burning bridges with you and isolating herself (thus returning back to the scrote).
Wow! In 6 months .. what a POS. I really hope you encourage her to go to therapy and keep reminding her that being friends with an abuser will only harm her. Maybe send her the FDS podcast with Lundy Bancroft.
You should send her a copy of Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft.
Did she call the police? Did YOU go down to the police station to report it? What if he does this to the next woman? And the next woman? And the next woman? Who knows who he is brutalizing right as I'm typing this? A man who hits will always hit again.