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My dad and I were having a dispute about how women throughout history are dehumanized married off in an arranged marriage and he was trying to tell me that the men suffer too. I told him that I don't feel sorry for the men because they have the power not to rape their wives on their wedding night, but their dick is more important than their brains. My dad was saying how the parents in arranged marriages have the power to make sure that their daughter is given to a good man and I said that the women don't get any opportunity to see if the vibe from the man is right but the conversation didn't get anywhere.
I'm not expected to be arranged but my dad's side of the family does these things and I've resented it for as long as I've been alive. (No, it doesn't mean that I'm OK with the shitshow that goes on in the Western dating scene; that's its own department)
Men aren't the ones who are abused most of the times in arranged marriages, The wife hold on to the shortest end of the stick even if she chose to marry someone. I don't feel sorry for men.
Why? What's to feel sorry for? They still get a provider of free domestic and reproductive services out of the deal. Because yeah, a live-in housekeeper and life manager who lightens your burden at their own expense in order to free up maximum personal and leisure time for you sounds absolutely terrible. 🙄
My grandmother had an arranged marriage and her husband beat the shit out of her, got bipolar disorder, they had 7 kids (3 of which inherited his shit mental illness genes), died at 50, and left her in poverty. They were Brahmins too, if that makes any difference. So yeah "parents have the power to make sure that their daughter is given to a good man" my ass. That being said, these days I think most arranged marriages (in the desi community) involve your parents setting up dates for you with socioeconomically matched people, which isn't quite as bad (you can totally swing it while doing a scrotation - it still beats dating apps since at least people are likely to be financially well off).
One more excuse to feel sorry for men because they don't get their favourite toy in life
"Men get victimised too" is such a stupid arguement.
Lol not like these men in arranged marriages didn’t have affairs on the side!
Men in an arranged marriage think the abuse they suffer is their dad getting to rape their wife instead of him. Or they they didn’t get a pretty enough wife or one that could cook better.