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(This is my first post here. I lurked on the old subreddit but was always too shy to comment or post. I finally made an account on here almost a month ago and still felt too shy to participate for a while but here I am finally haha. Hello!)
In the past, I've seen some women on here wonder whether OLD is worth it or not. (Spoiler: It's not) During the months I was on all of the typical "dating" apps, I started writing down some of the most absurd one-liners and "profile types" I came across in my local area. So, I figured I'd make a post and share some of my observations for the laughs. (And y'all can share some of your "favorites" that you've seen or heard about too!)
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1. "Don't be so picky, you're on a bad dating app"
2. "I will bully you so please be able to handle it"
3. "Shy guy. Plz don't hurt me. I need a hug"
4. "Country as cornbread and sweat tea"
5. "I got inches where it counts"
I'm not going to include any of the numerous variations of "Here for a good time, not for a long time" and "I'm (insert height here) since that matters to you all" etc etc.
As far as the most common profile types (at least in my area) that I see, we have the guys who...
Swipe right on every single woman and immediately un-match if you don't meet his "standards."
Post blurry and far-away pictures so you can't tell whether they are attractive or not.
Post pictures of themselves with multiple other people in them... spoiler, they probably will get mad when you ask which one they are.
Post pictures of themselves hugged up on random women (who, sadly, probably don't even know their face is all over a dating app)
Post pictures of themselves with their family members, but most commonly, with young children (Don't forget the obligatory "Not my kids/that's my niece/nephew/sister/brother/etc")
Pose with dead animals (I legit saw someone once with a picture of them holding up two dead wolves... absolutely unreal)
Send riveting one-sentence (and sometimes one word!) messages ("Sup" "Hru" "Good" "Wyd" "Snap?" "Lol")
Are on there just to promote their Twitter, IG, Snap, YT, etc.
Are only on there to find "clients" or "suppliers" for "substances."
Don't even live in your town/city and are just looking for a tour guide/booty call/free room (I live in a popular tourist city, so this makes up about 90% of the guys I saw on the apps)
Describe themselves as "adventurous" but only want to "Netflix and chill," go on coffee dates and walk around Target for 2 hours.
Have their profiles marked as "looking for an LTR" but their bio says they're looking for "fun" or "hookups."
Swipe right on you and when you match, their first message to you is calling you an "ugly (insert racial slur here)" and then un-match before you can report them to the app. (Pro-tip: These apps do not give a single fuck about racism, harassment, bullying or if you get sexually assaulted by someone on there... just an FYI)
Fill their bios up with a bunch of "no's" ("No fatties," "No xyz race," "No single mothers," "No fake boobs," "No prudes" etc)
Are only looking for unicorns/bulls/insert other poly animals but fail to disclose this and then get mad when you turn them down.
I could go on and on haha. What do/have you seen the most in your area or in general?
My current favourite is describing themselves as “open minded” which suggests perverted sexual proclivities and/or cheating. Most likely both.
I was on ok Cupid for a few days and checked out the feature that matches you with people across the globe. I matched with this cute German guy, who told me he’s not into a long distance love story. He told me that he likes naked pictures. I immediately blocked but that stuck with me- where I am from, you don’t lead with that. It was total unabashed asking for pictures with no shame. Is this how EU men are?! If so I guess I’ll just never date in Europe.
It's been a few years since I've navigated the depths of OLD, but mostly what I saw here is men with ALL THE AUDACITY.
Men that would never have dared to even speak to me IRL think they have the right to open with the most insane shit. One dude's opening salvo was to curse me out for rejecting him BEFORE I EVEN DID.
OLD is just not worth it. Like looking for a diamond in a landfill, a complete waste of time and you're only going to come out smelling like garbage.
Back when I was on OLD, I would swipe left on every "I'm __ height SiNcE iT mAtTeRs sO mUcH" guy even if he was attractive, because that's a 100% guaranteed small dick right there. And small dick havers literally never make up for it in other departments. (Foreplay, pussy eating) Small weeny dudes also lean towards pedophilia and butthole obsession ime.
Describe themselves as "adventurous" but only want to "Netflix and chill," go on coffee dates and walk around Target for 2 hours.🤣
I've been seeing adds for OLD apps in my city. The companies must be getting desperate. I think more women are avoiding them
Every day I'm happy I don't unnecessarily expose myself to more scrotery than I already have to witness. OLD is a sea of trash, and I would probably drown in it. The sheer existence of OLD proves that men are refusing to be worthy dates and partners, otherwise they wouldn't try to game the system and try to get past a lot of different women's defenses at the same time. I believe any good man will hardly stay single for a long time, because women will be all over him before long, unless MAYBE he lives in a rural area, is very introverted and works long hours.
The laziness of responses is what used to get me. I was just constantly staggered at what little effort they put into it. Of course I unmatched after this glittering exchange. He didn't even spell my name right!
I just saw a profile on Hinge that said "first I'm sour, then I'm sweet".
I had a bad experience with #5 awhile back when I was on OLD. I dated a guy I matched with who had a photo of himself holding a two year old saying that was his nephew. Red flags started showing over the next few months, he also had a photo of him and his mom on his OLD and when I met them in real life they seemed weirdly enmeshed… he still lived with his parents at 26, had a full time job that paid decent money and no plans to go back to school. Claimed it was too expensive to move out which I could understand due to rising rent costs, but he had a brand new sports car he sunk most of his money into and kept paying thousands to put on modifications, and he was never satisfied with how his car looked. Shortly before I ended the relationship he told me if we got married and he moved out of his parents house, he would hate to live more than 10-15 minutes away from his mom (her health is perfectly fine). He didn’t know how to cook or do his own laundry, mommy did all that for him. Turns out he lied to me about wanting kids and that all along he never wanted to have kids. I asked him why he hid that from me at the beginning and he said “because women see me not wanting kids as a red flag”🤡 he told me he never held a child in his life (lies) and that he stated on his profile he did not want kids (no he didn’t). I’d advise anyone else to swipe left on any man who takes photos with children because 1. they are a minor and 2. It’s most likely a manipulative ploy to tug at your heart strings
I recently changed my photo and not even a few minutes passed, a guy messages me "nice boobs". 😒
Thank you for multiple new suggestions to add to my (dating) red flag list lmfao! I don't date around often (and OLD fads come and go quickly) so I need to keep track of how scrotes rebrand their objectives/phrases.