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I'm Mostly gay but due to heteronormative conditioning I've been auto-dating males for a long while. I could literally never find an attractive one until!
Flash back to about 5 months ago. (Before I discovered FDS). Tall and muscular blonde with a trimmed beard and a full jawline. And he was socialist+ extreme environmentalist. I was excited! I was like "hell yeah he has a brain and he doesn't look boring! Sweet".
I was absolutely wrong.
🚩 On the first date he was bragging about himself and his abilities. At first I thought it was normal confidence but it bordered on just being odd.
🚩He constantly wanted me to go to his house, to his tiny dirty apartment.
🚩 He kept bring up trauma from Five years ago or even from childhood. Literally constantlyyyyyyyy bringing up his trauma, it was so exhausting. I was supportive at first but over time (3 months in) I was like "shut up". Along with "go get a therapist" 5x , even me crying saying that because he wouldn't shut up.
🚩 This guy was 35, I was completely fine with it even though it was like a 12 year age gap but he slowly (3 months in) wasn't being fine with it? Like my age was on okc, why is it suddenly a problem? Sounds weird but guys my age (23) are absolutely braindead and i normally draw the limit at 35 because atleast they'll die faster, but I should probably stay within my range.
🚩I tried leaving this guy like three times, first time he actually had tears in his eyes. Second time he left a note on my car and then actually tried gaslighting me like an idiot, he was like "you said something about your phone not working and that you were buying a new one" I was like??? No? Because he needed an excuse to leave a note on my car 45 minutes away from his house at 4 am. Third time I just told him I never wanted to see him again.
🚩He would bring me to his apartment just so he can play games and make me watch TV next to him? I literally hate TV, it's the breeding ground for misogynistic conditioning and tropes. Also ads and predictable plots. I have never seen the walking dead but I was able to predict who was going to die and what would happen because American TV is so f,cking bland. But also I don't like just*existing* in a space, he wouldn't even cuddle me, I had to do all the cuddle. He just wanted to treat me like property and take up my time, it was so stressful.
🚩Over time 5 months in he starts blaming women for having sex with rich men and blaming women for everything rich men do. The gymnastics club in his brain was f,cking packed, I swear. I ended the relationship there. Then he got mad about the 4b movement because "the human race" blah blah blah. Then he panicked about young single men and non single young women and he thinks all young women are flocking to older rich men and it's a huge conspiracy.
It was so annoying. He talked about these specific things nonstop, we could be out at sea and he'd talk about those things. It was mentally exhausting and kinda traumatic for me because this dude was so depressed about not finding a woman his age.
🚩 Called me almost every night and wanted me to revolve my work schedule around his because my jobs were never "important" enough. He would just call. Never had anything interesting to talk about, just wanted to invade my space over the phone.
🚩 Literally couldn't have a day off to myself without suspicion or tension. I'm just adventurous and frankly this person isn't more interesting than a gym or an Italian restaurant, not my problem. I'd get burnt out from being unable to do my own laundry on my days off or work on my own mental health, I felt like I was constantly working because of him because I couldn't have a day off to myself.
🚩 Straight up smoked weed every day, major red flag for me, we don't have enough research on it and every stoner I've pegged had anger issues and maturity issues + unable to do anything without being grumpy or lagging behind.
Now these are compelling. I stayed because he was politically okay-issshhh until the very end he showed his true colors, he cooked, cleaned, had a decent job, looked good and tried going outdoors with me most times. Plus he didn't pressure me for sex and I thought it was great because I have vaginismus and I can literally just use a vibrator for a better experience anyway. Despite that he was hung in case I decided to "fix" myself in 5 years.
Didn't work out, I didn't get hurt but the stress of his constant bitching and moaning about things I don't care about made me so happy to be single. He could also very much get violent if he wanted to alongside his "jew woman rich person conspiracy theories". Because the guy was huge and just mentally unstable.
I really thought I hit the jackpot but I'm glad I put my foot down because I know I deserve better than that crap, even if he was so close to being perfect (In my dumb past self eyes).
Also this is not satire, I genuinely stuck around a shitty dude for 5 months because i thought he was attractive. I mean He was also emotionally abusive and pretended like Russia is going to kill us tomorrow. I didn't mean for it to sound weird in post.
Moral of the story! Even the attractive ones are shit. It's just not worth it. It's exhausting and traumatizing.
Is this satire?
😂💯🗑
This guy sounds a lot like my ex who I dated briefly for a few months, and was severely emotionally abused by, to the point where I was miserably googling relationship questions enough to discover FDS and learn about covert narcissism! This lines up with Lundy Bancroft's "Mr Sensitive" type too. Good riddance to your ex, and welcome to FDS and don't get hoodwinked by this type of atrocious LVM ever again!
Forgive me, but I have a hard time believing this man is real. 😂
I understand FDS does not have an official stance on politics, but here's my personal red flag:
socialist+ extreme environmentalist
Tell me he's a cheap, performative libfem scrote without telling me he's a cheap, performative libfem scrote.
I say this without any sarcasm: AVOID SOCIALIST AND EXTREME ENVIRONMENTALIST MEN from now on. And change your politics too, while you're at it. Seriously, undergo some self-examination. "Socialists and extreme environmentalists" are mentally disordered losers who hide behind a virtue signal curtain to distract you from the fact that they're cheap men looking for a cheap fuck.
How do I know this? I used to live in San Franciso/Berkeley, socialist and extreme environmentalist capital of the U.S. I was literally surrounded by these scrotes day in and day out.100% of them were disgusting, misogynistic losers who couldn't afford to buy a sandwich for a woman or, if they did have a few bucks to rub together, resented having to "pay for sex" (i.e., take a woman out to dinner). Yet, somehow, they all had money for weed. 100% of them thought 50/50 was the only way to maintain a long-term relationship and would lecture you if you thought otherwise. 100% of them did not bathe properly. Maybe 75% of them criticized me for eating meat, when the truth was they couldn't afford to take me out for a steak dinner. Is this the future you want for yourself?
Also, you're 23 and he's 35. He is more than 1.5 times your age. Biologically, he could be your dad.
Wake the fuck up.
LVM use women as therapists. That would.have been dealbreaker enough for me.. he felt you were young so he could take advantage of you.
I am really sorry if this post sounded like satire, I would never do that here because I take this place too seriously. This guy was real and thankfully I banished him to the shadow realm.
I don't think he wanted anything serious, he had another woman in Portugal on the back burner and basically treated me like entertainment. I'm so glad I never have sex with these f,cks, I swear if I had sex with him I would've really hated myself forever and he would've kept the "well put together gentlemen" mask on for a lot longer.
He was completely normal for like a month and then during the last 4 I spent energy "trying to fix him" because I thought he was attractive. I got greedy but I'm glad I was able to leave him in the end. He kept bragging about his appearance and his dick size and it was such a turn off but I think he did that to make me feel like I couldn't get any better than that and that he was actually super insecure. I wish I could get that time back tbh.
thank you for posting, this was wildly entertaining... and i'm not belittling your exasperation, but your writing style is awesome. the highlights:
😂💀"i normally draw the limit at 35 because at least they'll die faster"
😂💀 "frankly this person isn't more interesting than a gym or an Italian restaurant, not my problem."
😂💀 "Because he needed an excuse to leave a note on my car 45 minutes away from his house at 4 am."
just wow. he's a bit unhinged, isn't he?
😂💀 "i have never seen the walking dead but I was able to predict who was going to die and what would happen because American TV is so f,cking bland."
ugh, i know. i hate television.
"and he thinks all young women are flocking to older rich men and it's a huge conspiracy."
well, yeah, kind of...it's called trafficking and it's a HUGE industry.
"and pretended like Russia is going to kill us tomorrow."
at least he didn't mention the Chinese communists...
please write a book some day 😂
anyway, happy you escaped in one piece!
lol, dating
I don't remember how I found this post. But I feel upset that people don't believe this is real. Why WOULDN'T it be? I have no problem believing this.