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Ive dated a couple of men in the past who have complained about having such bad luck with dating, get ghosted a lot, and can’t get matches on OLD. The first one was my NVM ex who I dated several years ago and he’d always complain about how hard it is to find a decent person these days and how he was always overlooked by women. He would insult my appearance, my body shape, my family, my friends, my opinions, pretty much everything about me and made me feel small. When we broke up, he complained about how I could find another guy so easily while he would probably end up alone for the rest of his life. He found someone else in less than a month after the breakup (we were together for a year)🤡
With the second ex, thank God I saw right through him in just a few months. He started out seemingly innocent, respectful, and sweet. As I got to know him, he would share about how he had very little relationship experience and prayed for years to find a girlfriend, how he had such bad luck on dating apps and that all the girls rejected him in high school (that was 10 years ago) except for one girl who he dated for a couple years. He claimed he only dated her because she was the only one who liked him. He told me how he couldn’t believe someone as beautiful and intelligent as me could love someone as flawed as him. He told me he didn’t feel worthy of love. He told me he wasn’t going anywhere and that he would never leave me when we were dating less than two months at that point🚩 Around the four month mark, he told me to make sure I dressed appropriately for the weather. We went to an outdoor event and I brought lots of sunscreen and water. I’m on a medication where I burn easily so my legs were still red. He saw I got burnt and told me “see? That’s why you should have dressed correctly. Thats why you got burnt because you never dress appropriately for the weather.” I called him out and told him that comment he made upset me and he then said “what??? You know I was just joking”. He never apologized and when we got to his house, he barely spoke to me, just sat on the couch ignoring me. I asked him what was bothering him and he said nothing. I then brought up that I felt something had changed since the beginning of the relationship and he said I had unrealistic expectations and that the initial lovey dovey phase was over, then said I must not be emotionally mature if I wanted things to be the same as the “honeymoon phase”. The red flags were waving in my face and I told him we’re breaking up. He pleaded saying “No I don’t want you to leave, I’ll be devastated if you left and I won’t ever find anyone else”. My gut was telling me to GTFO so I told him we are not a good match, blocked and deleted him and never looked back.
Do not ever feel guilty for putting your own well being first. These men refuse to work on themselves. They need a therapist, not a girlfriend. You cannot save them or change them. Now I am in my mid 20s and my boundaries are stronger than ever! I’ve noticed how peaceful it has been and that if I ever feel lonely, I do something about it. I reach out to friends and get coffee with them, make time for hobbies, and fill up my time with church events and volunteer work.
Most women are socialised to be desperate Pickmes who give any guy a chance. It's not women's fault, society weaponizes our empathy against us and teaches us male validation is the end all and be all. We're shamed, mainpulated and humbled into dating ugly, broke, abusive scrotes. This is why we gaslight ourselves into ignoring and justifying red flags.
Men who say they have had bad luck with dating are lying almost 100% of the time. They can get women but they can't keep a woman because they use the classic bait and switch. They start off as polite and pretend they're lonely and have a whole "sad boy" vibe to appeal to your empathy and nurturing nature as a woman. Once you bite this bait and start dating them, they'll switch to their true abusive selves. They probably abused all the women they dated, so they have problem keeping women, not getting women.
I'm not going to lie, it definitely gets lonely sometimes. But that's HELLA better than dealing with some scrote's nonsense. I will not lower my standards.
The trick is to run at the first display of insecurity, especially if it's blatant or seems manipulative ("you're too good for meeee"). If they don't love themselves how could they possibly love someone else? First they put you on a pedestal and then they realize that you're human and they resent you for it. They become projection machines and they drag you down their own personal hell to have some company there. Going for confident men is less risky, at least if they're scrotes they're more likely to be obnoxious up front and that's easier to weed out. Of course some of them fake confidence, but that's hard to do without slipping over the course of several months.
An old man tried to do that, He's old and lonely because his wife died.. nope after doing some research the wife left because he sold her Electronics without her having a say in things. Lol bye. Lonely men are lonely because of their own behavior.
Men live in a world of outstanding women. They are surrounded by them. Lots and lots of really great women, and most of them looking for a relationship. If a man can't find one who wants to be with him, then he's a loser who has nothing to offer, and women can see this. Stay away from these losers, who whine about how they can't find a good woman, or that no woman will love them. There are multiple reasons for that, and they all point to their gross inadequacy. Leave these clowns where you find them, don't take them into your life.
úf! i’d rather have unrealistic expectations than sit around with a lump of a man.
i have to remind myself that i sometimes long for the company of a MAN, someone who can help me create the feeling of the honeymoon phase 90% of the time…i don’t think that’s unrealistic.
rise up, Queen.
Men are the architects of their own loneliness. Also the honeymoon phase is like two years. Once it’s over you settle into each other like comfortable old pyjamas. The familiarity and mutual support that comes from knowing each other more deeply is something to be celebrated. It’s certainly not a reason for men to treat you like shit/take you for granted.
On Nordic Model Now . Com there's a horror story of a woman who tried to act as a man's therapist. She ended up quitting her job and dropping out of school to cure her bfs meth addiction, then got suckef into prostitution. Absolutely horrifying, couldn't read past the first paragraph. Ladies, don't act as a man's therapist.