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It's like talking to a wall when trying to express your thoughts and feelings about your experiences with men to men. It makes me scream inside (and out, to be honest). I just find myself treating men like literal children because they have the emotional intelligence of one so how else am I supposed to communicate with them?
I recently posted a Tiktok stitch in response to a male Tiktoker who was talking about how women tend to "check out" of relationships before they physically leave them and was offering advice to his gender on holding themselves accountable for their behavior before she has had enough and leaves them. This is something I've noticed to be rather common with women (including myself) in my experience. I believe it has a lot to do with the fact that so many of us were conditioned to stay in relationships after their expiration date because female loyalty to men is viewed as some kind of badge of honor. Codependency is quite literally socialized into us practically at birth.
When I attempted to explain my own thinking about why this happens, from my personal experience, by using an analogy of a rope as a proverbial tether connecting a woman to her man, my comments section lit up with attention starved men who couldn't WAIT to give me their opinions on my own personal experience. Essentially, the analogy I gave was that ropes are strong because they are made of many smaller fibers and that each fiber represents an act of respect, loyalty, and love that we still believe you're capable of performing for us. So, with each act of disrespect, betrayal, or abuse, you are essentially cutting another fiber of that rope until eventually it becomes weak and snaps. The woman attached to the end of the rope is now gone and there is no repairing your connection to her.
One scrote simply tried to mansplain my own experience back to me (because of course he did) by explaining to me how my rope analogy aCtuAlLy sHoUlD bE rEpReSeNtEd. Another tried to repackage my explanation as women simply manipulating men for financial gain. (As if all men who have been broken up with in this way are financially well-off.) *cue eyeroll*
Another scrote proudly commented, "I've cut every single fiber so why is she still here?" Sir, did you just brazenly boast about being an abuser on a random stranger's post on the internet and not expect me to call you out on that? I wish I could find his partner and ask her to blink twice if she needs rescue.
One of the commenters then proceeded to tag other content creators who had posted Tiktoks either in support of the "gold digger" theory or who were women also saying the exact same thing as the original creator I had stitched with. Tell me you didn't listen to a word I said in my Tiktok and just wanted to scream your scrote nonsense into a vacuum without telling me you didn't listen to a word I said and...
You get the point.
I'm just so glad to be able to have a safe space to express my frustration and contempt for male behavior these days without the anxiety of knowing some infantile scrote is going to charge in to be like, "...but what about...". I almost screamed out, "Shut the **** up" while writing this. I swear I have selective Tourette's Syndrome when it comes to men.
I am a female supremacist all the way. My advice to women is to be mean to disrespectful men who have way too much audacity. It's quite honestly a summation of how I overcame my extreme codependency.
Happy to be here with you all :)
Toodaloo!
Christina
Social media has really brought out the inner twisted thoughts that lie within men. The weak ones feel much more brazen behind the screen to spout their bullshit and admit their moral failings.
Fortunately for us, we now know how they operate, are no longer in the dark and can support each other navigating through this world of depraved, predatory beasts more equipped than ever before.
Cheers to that sister!
Your analogy of the rope is perfect and spot on. The woman tries her best to make things work, and the man keeps hacking away at the rope, the ties that bind, until there’s nothing left of the rope. No reason for her to stay, as there is no hope or tie left. When she finally leaves, she knows she tried her best, and there’s nothing more she can do. She’s lost the war. She is defeated, and the man has “won.” The man has been enjoying the power he felt by cutting the rope fiber by fiber. He got off more on hurting and disrespecting her than he ever did on sex. He felt like he was winning as he battled for every ”win” that came at the detriment of her and the relationship. Then he can’t take the blame for the relationship he enjoyed destroying, so he calls her a “gold digger.”