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I'm only on one app at the moment.
With the interactions I have had, trust me it's more than enough !
Anyway, I matched with a man and we had a phone conversation per his suggestion last night . I was feeling pretty encouraged as we were talking, as he is clearly intelligent .has a steady job. Lives pretty clean. And the big one is that he is definitely childfree like I am, which is next to impossible to find in my neck of the woods! Usually what's available are single dads or old men. Or old men that are single dads. Lol😂
So then he says he wants to ask me an important question . He wants to know how important age is to me. I told him the truth, that I have no problem dating a man younger than myself if we are truly compatible . For what it's worth, there's an eight year difference .
He says that's a great point. And then he really struggled to say the next thing. He said I am just going to say it, but I think down the road our age difference would be a problem for me. But I think I still would like to meet you before I make that decision.
Honesty , I really don't know what to think about this one. Is he being up front and mature , and is he worth a date ? Or is he a scrote for saying this?
Obviously, he's entitled to his preferences! He did mention that it's hard to get dates because he is not tall and bald. And childfree!
But I can't help but thinking that's a goofy one to have when biological clock is certainly not a factor. And eight years are not a big deal in my book but obviously for some people ... it is. Why did he swipe then?
Part of me wonders if we would really enjoy one another's company , but the other part of me says he is already setting it up for failure simply because of a believe he's held. He mentioned that he did date a woman that was older once ...and it didn't work out.
Well, that was just one woman. But it's not my job to convince him! I don't have time for that.
Scrote .... or potentially nice guy? 🤔
Meet him.... or stay home and order DoorDash? What say you?
I've been online dating off and on 5 years now. I've met nothing but scrotes- including one Hobosexual I was stupid enough to keep around for two years.
He’s negging you. On what planet is it normal for a man to call a woman old? Just no.
I really wouldn’t meet him at this point; he is going to waste even more of your time. It sounds like women in his preferred age bracket aren’t interested in him, so in his mind he is going to be benevolent and give an older woman a chance. He’s already made up his mind that you are “too old” for him, so he’s going to expect you to blow him away with unrealistic Hollywood “sparks” on the first date, and even then he probably will just string you along. YOU deserve so much better than this. All this is a poor reflection on him, NOT you. My vote, for what it’s worth, is that this man is an absolute Scrote.
If he doesn't want kids, how is your age relevant? Or is it because he might like a younger model down the road? You are not a consolation price or a placeholder until he finds someone he finds worthwhile.
Don’t bother. If it’s not a “hell yes” it’s a no.
Also scrotes in general can’t afford to be picky—he’ll just be another loser who is busy dating his right hand.
Also no DoorDash. Fees are stupidly high.
If he's projecting his bad experience onto you, it's not your job to convince him that you could be a great match. Don't audition to be someone's date / girlfriend. Just let him go. As for his reasons, no one knows, and they're none of your concern. Age gap relationships aren't too desirable anyway so you're not missing out on much.
I once asked an ex his age range on dating apps and he said he didn’t set it. He literally had it on the standard 18-80, so that’s why he swiped you. You see, this guy will sleep with a woman of an inappropriate age because he doesn’t care. A HVM would date an age appropriate woman.
My preference is set for a 7 year span, and I think that’s generous enough, although I do find it a farce that your potential date is funny about age when he’s Childfree! The main reason I want someone age appropriate is to start a family with, but maybe your LVM wants none of the burden of someone’s children, because it’s more attention away from him. I feel like he also is finding an excuse to have casual sex with you, so he can pull the “I’m not looking for a relationship” card on you and pretend to be a good guy by saying “I warned you upfront.” So yeah, dump him.
Personally I feel an 8 year gap is too much. On dating apps I have 4 as max and even then I feel a bit... meh. If someone tells you he will have any sort of 'issue' with you down the line: he is not being upfront or mature, he is literally telling you he doesn't see a future with you but is willing to hang with you/get 'benefits' of a short term relationship. Also consider the following: how would you ever recover from his comment? He disrespected you and you would always feel insecure about your age and compare yourself to women his age.
Complete scrote. What an absolute shitstain, seriously. How dare he say something like that. I'm your age, and I agree, 8 years is no big deal when you're in your 40s or older. But most men are disgusting and, no matter their age, prefer to date women younger than them. Weed those fuckers out, and this guy sounds like he's one of them but wants to 'experiment' a bit. You are no-one's experiment, and no-one's consolation prize. Onwards and upwards sis.
If you're too old for him, then why did he swipe right on you? Fucking hypocrite.
The bottom line is if he doesn't seem 100% eager to meet you before the first date, then he's not the one for you.
This one is a block and delete.
Maybe he's being honest, or maybe he's trying to manipulate you into a dynamic where you feel like you have to perform to prove youre worthy and get him to pick you. At this point you dont know him at all, and you have no prior history with him, so you owe him no grace. Given that most men are LVM, he's probably trying to manipulate you. Treat yourself to some good takeout instead!.
He’s setting you up so you’ll already feel like you have to prove yourself to him.
Prove that you’re still pretty at your age. Prove that you’ll continue to age well (in his eyes). Prove that you’re still girlish and fun and lighthearted, and you’ll never hold him accountable for anything, because only a bitter old woman would do that.
Age gaps can present serious issues, but like you said, he already set his age preferences to include you, and he already swiped right. He sounds like a scrote.
Goodness no! You deserve way better than this.
This is why I never tell men my age. It is none of their business, and they will use it to put you in a "box" where they can now feel free to make judgements about you as a woman. If a man asks, I just laugh and say "What an odd question! In case you're concerned, I am of legal age." Or, "I was raised to believe that a lady never tells, and a gentleman never asks when it comes to a lady's age." I look quite a bit younger than my actual age, and it is frankly fun to fuck with the heads of men who are just dying to find out this personal detail.
I never wanted to have children, so my age is an immaterial detail for any man who wants to enter a relationship with me if he doesn't want children either. HVM don't care about a woman's age, unless they are wanting to start a family.
Hard pass. He's showing he's not compatible with you I'm world view and experience.
How old are you and how old is he?