This scrote shouldn't be going on dates

I was pretty nonplussed. The opposite of shocked. This story has been the reality and the norm for more than a decade. I figured the woman must be very young.

This was me at 23 years old and we got bubble tea then he drove me to beach at like 10pm and yeah. I am very thankful I’m alive still. I was so fucking desperate and easy. That was the first and last time we spoke. One of my more dumber mistakes.

This is the comment with the actual talking point.

This is horrible! I'm still shocked about how some people treat each other. I just can't fathom how much of a pos you have to be to act like that. Not even in my dreams would I think of doing that to another person, unless they disrespected me first. No wonder I don't date around, I don't need that bs if this is a common thing to expect to happen.

These men... can't they just pick up a hobby? Maybe knitting? Don't they have anything else to do with their life?

My worst date ever made a huge show out of buying me a drink with a free coupon. He didn’t offer to get me anything to eat either. His body language, facial expression, tone, everything conveyed that he was really getting off on it. He said and did some other things that I later realized were just negging. I didn’t learn until later that this is something RP tells men to do to women — pick them up in junker cars, pay with coupons, etc., just to see how we “react.” He told me his fiancée cheated on him, so I guess that was my fault for being the same gender. 😂 He was an incredibly feminine man and I spent the entire time questioning whether or not he might be gay.

Exactly! This is so scary.

To be fair if you're more unexperienced you easily fall into this trap. OLD being stupid is the reasonable thing to think, but a lot of people think otherwise and might convince others to try it as well, because they themselves or friend/relative XYZ has found their partner that way etc. You know the drill.

Then accepting coffee dates is also more common because if you as a woman expect more you're then portrayed as expecting too much, being too materialistic etc. so I can see a more unexperienced woman think to herself "Well okay, coffee to get to know each other first is fine too, I don't want to come off as too greedy".

Then you're also gaslit into thinking the man is the prize and you as a woman need to bend over backwards to please him and once you got a man, you made it and successfully escaped the horrible fate of gasp being single!

I'm saying all of this because that's the point I was at when I was in my early 20s. I've always been quite the goody two shoes as a kid, pretty sheltered, had no dating experience whatsoever, never had a boyfriend during my teenage years and then was also told by society that dating practices like coffee dates or taking a walk together are just normal and acceptable and don't say anything about how a guy feels about you. I've never tried online dating though because I've always had a bad feeling about it and it's common knowledge that most guys on OLD are just looking for hookups. I also don't like the concept of looking through an online catalogue of people to choose from or being part of that catalogue lol.

But other experiences like asking the guy you like out are things I unfortunately had to learn myself by making these mistakes.

I'm really thankful I've discovered FDS to dismantle all of this clownery, but a lof of women haven't reached that point yet.

Getting into a stranger's car is dumb though... you're actually risking your safety doing that.

I know I know. They're still young. But the "OLD sucks" stories are so rote and formulaic we may as well get AI to write them for us. Because EVEYRY WOMAN'S EXPERIENCE WITH ONLINE DATING IS BASICALLY IDENTICAL.

Lmao yeah that's true, can't argue with that