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I went out for three short dates with a man I met on an app. He's not the kind I'd notice - but he's very sweet, intelligent , and ambitious. And ( I think?) set on impressing me . He always insists on paying . Makes reservations, etc. has not made any creepy sexual comments .
Here's where I am watching him like a hawk. He's a bit socially awkward , and once he gets talking he just goes! He's mentioned exes several times. Including the one he broke up with over a year ago.
Soooo I told him this was cause for concern . He seemed upset and apologetic and said he's never do that again, he just wants to get to know ME . Still, I can't help but wonder why he's always mentioning her. Yesterday he mentioned her not once but three times!
Am I being a moron letting him see me once more?
He wants to take me to dinner and a movie this weekend. If he as much mentions her once, I'm out.
It's great to establish boundaries. But give me tough love if I am doing the wrong thing, please !
Edit: I was unclear! He mentioned her three times THEN I finally said something
Even if you teach him not to mention his ex from over a year ago, he will still be thinking about her. He’s obviously not over her. I wouldn’t date a man who is dwelling constantly on another woman. Proceed with extreme caution if you must.
You don’t even sound like you’re attracted to him - you only entertain him because he’s nice to you. I really don’t think it’s a good idea for you to try and continue something with him.
Men with poor social skills don’t tend to make the women in their lives happy in the long run. Can you imagine what this guy will be like once he feels comfortable and believes you’re not going anywhere?
He’s a bore and isn’t over his ex. Find a guy with social skills and you’re actually into AND is nice to you. They exist.
Block and delete. He is obviously still not over her or he is just being a whiny man who wants to be a victim. You already communicated once and he still talked about her. You are done
When I rebounded out of my first relationship and into a short weird blip with someone else within a year, you know what I did and why I class that as a rebound? I accidentally kept talking about my ex. Little things. Why? He was on my mind and I was definitely not over it. What people talk about is what's occupying space in their mind. He's obviously thinking a lot about her. I understand that we may reflect on previous relationships when we start a new one, quite naturally, but I definitely don't bring up my ex now when I go out on dates... it's been longer and he doesn't really occupy much space in my head.
Sis, we don't teach men. He shouldn't have to be told that it is inappropriate to bring up an ex while on a date with a woman. You've mentioned that he did it three times and then you told him to knock it off.
He talked about an ex THREE times while supposedly trying to impress you.
And he would have continued doing it if you hadn't told him to stop.
You're worth a man who you are attracted to AND who doesn't have to be told to stop talking about another woman.
It's wildly inconsiderate to mention an ex partner. Take this as a sign of his character - he lacks consideration and thoughtfulness for your feelings. I wouldn't bother anymore with this man.
Eh, if a guy was trying to impress, he wouldn't mention his ex so much. At the very least, he still dwells on the relationship. Maybe he is mature enough to move past it quickly but I wouldn't trust him with that. If everything still reminds him of his ex, then he's just not in a good place to date.
You can do what you want, but if I were you, I'd block and delete.
Mentioning an ex three times in the first three dates??? That's a nah sis for me.
Out of curiosity, what’s he saying about her? Does it actually relate to the conversation, at all, or does he seem to look for excuses to complain about her? Talking about his ex at all is bad so I’m not trying to find an excuse for him, but it especially bothers me when men clearly just can’t get over the fact that she didn’t want him anymore.
You just taught him to hide what he’s thinking, is all. I wouldn’t date him. You don’t seem attracted to him even. Why bother?
I like to follow the strategy you're implementing: Go out with him enough to be 110% sure I'm not the problem, and make sure I won't be able to feel guilty or uncertain or have regrets about dumping him when I look back on it later on. This is contrary to the FDS standard of blocking and deleting at the first sign.
You're right to have your guard up and be vigilant this weekend.
She's clearly still on his mind. It doens't matter why. Next him, and get with someone who isn't still hung up on yesterday's news.
He's looking to replace his last GF. With you.