Ran into my rapist today.

We dated for a short time in 2018. It didn't work out for many reasons, one of them being he sexually assaulted me. He was penetrating me, I told him to stop. He kept going for several minutes. Finally I told him "you're done now". He laughed and made fun of me and then stopped. I stayed at his place hanging out for a few hours, which I realize seems bizarre, but I couldn't process it at the time. Fight/freeze/fawn response and I chose a dumb mix of freeze and fawn. I'm still kicking myself years later for not handling it properly. I was in denial. I still wanted us to work out so I pretended everything was fine. What I should have done was leave right away and go to police and make a police report and get a rape kit done so the DNA would have been there. I was too attached and so I didn't go to police until months later. He got away with everything.

It's been years since then. Today I ran into him walking on the sidewalk. I made a face at him and said something to my friend about it, like "oh, there's my ex that raped me" - I think I wanted to humiliate him for what he did to me - but I really don't know if there's a better way I could have handled it. I suppose I could have ignored him. But I want him to feel like his "good name" has been ruined for what he did. I want him to feel like there are consequences. I'm allowed to speak freely about the fact that he raped me. I'm not going to do anything violent but I'm allowed to be mad and have emotions about it. You know? I had therapy today and we went over it a bit. But, how would you have handled it? Is there a more dignified way to go about these things? What would a Queen do?