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Since IVF is over priced, unregulated and not transparent and no confirmation or even partial refund if outcome is unsuccessful at each try I'm looking at donor sites like "just a baby" , "let's be parents" and " baby fever" to have my family.
I never want a man in my life again and my home is mine I didn't build it for him to take it off me.
I do want a couple kids and if it happens I've males, they'll be getting an upbringing that teaches them to respect women.
Has anyone used these sites? Any way to vet these men, between us women, to learn if they're kosher?
I'm not familiar with these sites but I struggle to imagine a non-creepy reason why a man would be on there to donate sperm to produce offspring he'll never meet.
And if there is money as an incentive... how motivated will the men be to answer any questions about their health or background truthfully (if the truth means that they couldn't donate and make money) and how well are those answers double-checked by the sites themselves?
If I considered to use donor sperm to have a child, there is no way I wouldn't demand an extensive background check of the donor, especially when it comes to his health and any congenital illnesses or risk factors my child could inherit from him. I also wouldn't want a donor with a history of mental illness, crime or substance abuse of any kind in his family. Is there really a secure way to check that?
How well is your and your child's anonymity protected there? How waterproof is the legal stuff to prevent the donor from sueing for custody or visitation rights years later?
I honestly think it's far more likely that your great looking sperm donor there is some loser trying to make a few bucks to spend on weed, beer, meth or gambling than a reasonable, healthy man .
You need to consult a lawyer about this. I know some people who have done the donor thing with male friends, and a legal contract needs to be drawn up so that it is very clear that he is just a "donor" not a parent and has no legal custody rights. The laws around sperm donation differ in each country, so do your research. I think a lawyer with a speciality in family law would be a good start.
And the fertility doctors using their own sperm were having dozens of children…
Be careful because sperm donors are suing for custody now, and nobody is protecting the women.
I agree with erythrura: There can’t be a single noble motivation for a man to donate his sperm. Who with a stable mind and a grip on reality would anonymously send out his genetics to reproduce unknowingly, if it wasn’t for money? Could be a fetish.
And I thought we were against selling one’s body, at least for women. You don’t need to have much empathy for young broke men who want to make some extra money for jacking off at the clinic to feel that it is an exploitative business and maybe not the most moral nor safest background for creating life.
At one point, a child will grow up and want to learn about their ancestry, no matter how much love and support they grew up with, and will have to find out their father is a dude who needed a quick side job in his twenties and is being searched for by thirty young adults alike.