not surprisingly, the scrotation is falling apart

I for one am not dismayed, nor am I surprised. After all, dating is a numbers game, like it or not. So with that, an update. The highlights are strategies I've used so far to vet.

-- one guy keeps getting in touch with me, wants to talk on the phone, is willing to drive a couple of hours each way to see me. The phone thing is not my fave as an introvert, but I'll probably cave, it's a good way to see if we get each other's conversational rhythms. It's also an excellent way to see if he asks ANY questions, and what kind of questions. Softball questions (favorite food, movie, music, and nothing else, nope, we're done, time to move on). Talking only about himself, his interests, time to move on. Expecting that his interests become my interests, time to move on.

-- another guy I've already met in person; he drove an hour or so to meet me, and it went really well. The conversation from online continued and just kept on flowing. Great sense of off-beat humor, genuinely kind. He's a squire in my medieval re-enactment group, and they take chivalry seriously. He knows very well how to be a gentleman, and I appreciate that. But I also realize that's the bare minimum. With this one, time tells. Neither one of us are in any hurry, and I like that, too.

-- my really good-looking vet tech I'm iffy about. I would think we can always be polite acquaintances even if dating doesn't work out, since he does take care of my kitties (but there are other vets in town). He strikes me as being very single, single at heart, and not that much of a communicator. I think he's a kind person overall, definitely super hard-working, but if he's more of a doer than a talker, I'll pass with regrets. I'm giving him til the end of this week to get back in touch with me (arbitrary timeline), and if he doesn't, I'll unmatch. No need to say anything, no going out in a huff, just move on quietly. I also asked him to add me on Facebook, since we met on online dating, and he hasn't.

-- one guy wants to Facetime tonight, and that's a positive thing; like the first guy, we can see if we vibe well together and I'll see if he asks questions and what kind of questions. However, I'm iffy about this guy, too. He told me today he had to go to court to get a warrant taken care of, and I'm not quite sure of the real issue. He mentioned a "crazy ex-girlfriend" who apparently has stalked him, so I KNOW there's history there. Whether she honestly has issues or whether he CAUSED those issues... as of today I'm cooler toward him. I want zero part of any drama ever. If she wants him that badly, by all means have him. There's also the fact that he's not as educated as I am, and he's not nearly as articulate as I am, which could also be large fingers on a small phone keypad, but still. Doesn't take much to just take an extra few seconds and say precisely what you mean. This guy will be one of the first to fall out of the scrotation. We'll see how the Facetime convo goes, then I'll decide, although I know which way I'm already leaning. The warrant and "crazy" ex-girlfriend... ugh. Poor guy also lost his keys recently (which happens), but softly suggested I come pick him up if we wanted to do anything. Again, I replied to something else he said, and ignored that. No way I'm getting in a car, even my own, with a male stranger.

-- met another guy a couple of days ago: REALLY good looking, but Republican, not surprising down here in the Deep South. This is a small town overall, so the likelihood of running into people is high, so no need to be rude. I complimented him on his beard, but told him I'm pretty much his opposite (with specific examples: Democrat, liberal, progressive, radical feminist, childfree, so we might not be compatible. There's no sense in hiding who I really am; there's every reason to say 'this is me' and see how a man reacts. And yet, he wanted to chat, so we're chatting. He's already mentioned what a "great kisser" he is (eyeroll) and that he's a cuddler, so blahhh, spare me. I simply didn't acknowledge he said that, and replied to something else he said. I'm attracted, but he'll also be one of the first to fall out of the scrotation, simply because we are so different on human rights, civil rights, women's rights. He strikes me overall as a typical good guy but very much a clueless older White male who is utterly oblivious to all his privilege. I've met SO many.

As someone else mentioned on FDS on Reddit a while ago, I believe in unmatching. I don't believe it's right or fair to keep someone as a match if you're unlikely to talk, because that proves you're somewhat attracted but you're not REALLY into them, not just really jonesing to get to know them. Just keeping someone as a match is an ego-boost but you're not doing anything for yourself or for them. They're just sitting in your list of possibles as a second, third choice, etc. No one wants to be that. Dating in this regard is like fishing: keep the ones you are really interested in, the ones with meat on their bones. Throw back all the other ones that are too scrawny, too this, too that, not enough this, not enough that. And just keep fishing. Men are out there. There are good ones out there, ones that are a good match, who are single for whatever reason. We are the ultimate deciders.