My toxic ex boyfriend

We dated 3 months ago and looking back it was a very toxic relationship he put me through. We are both 21 years old and dated for 9 months. However we knew each other as good friends before that for 3 years. My exes name is James although he was crazy. My upbringing was traumatic and because of it I became plus sized at a young age. I am 28 stone but am working on losing weight. I had dating experience prior to my ex however it wasn't good. I get no attention in real life so I relied on dating apps to date. I would get lonely and invite guys over for hookups but they were pushy and forced sex on me. Sadly I never found a great guy until I met my ex boyfriend or so I thought he was a great guy.

James was my online friend before dating, I wasn't really attracted to him physically but I dont have many friends and he seemed chill and funny. Occasionally we fell out and I blocked him but I always unblocked him a few months after and he would always notice this and hmu literally days after I unblocked him. It was stalkerish behaviour but due to my low self esteem I was flattered. He said he liked big girls and he even bought pictures of my body and gave me money for my nails.

At the very beginning of 2022, James got rejected by a girl he liked and turned to me. I felt like a rebound chick but we started talking as friends again. He told me how he just started driving and had 10K in savings. That alone was better than 90% of guys my age and it made me feel like he had potential. Unfortunately though he was insecure and said incel talking points like girls want tall and good looking guys. He also said that women live life on easy mode. This angered me so much as he definitely wouldn't wanna swap places with me as I am a black woman and he is a white man. But I grew to like the guy. He would constantly complain about his height. He was 5'11 and was insecure that my other ex was 6'4 and claimed a womans body count matters. I went on a date with a different guy and had a horrible experience. He was cheap, smelly, and wanted to go back to mine. Because of this bad experience I had to give crazy James a chance. We went on dates and he paid each time. He was also a virgin and when we tried to have sex he had no idea what to do. Then in our fourth date, I invited him over to my place. We ordered pizza and it came to $40 for some reason he flipped and didnt wanna pay the bill and wanted to go dutch. This was LVM behaviour and I dumped and blocked him.

Unfortunately all the other men were trash and the next 6 months all I found were guys looking to have sex and not put any effort in. I decided to unblock my ex and again he noticed within a week he was unblocked. It seemed like he was obsessed with me. I invited him over and we instantly connected. He paid for a date and I took his virginity and surprisingly he was good in bed after the 3rd time we had sex. we started going on weekly dates and he paid for every single one. He spent $150 on my at xmas and I felt bad as I only spent $20 on him. His birthday came up and I suggested we go on holiday and then I suggested we go on holiday twice as I really liked the guy and thought it would be nice to go away. Because I am a broke girl, I didnt have the money but I asked him to pay and I told him I will pay the money back. He booked both holidays for $1500 without question. We were having great sex too.

Then crazy James took a turn. I realised he had an alcohol problem and a best mate that was leading him astray and telling him I was toxic and a golddigger. Even his other scrote friends said the same thing and his mom too. He started talking incel talking points but this time going deeper. He said that my life was easier than his because I have female privilege. I told him it doesn't exist and he called me a ******. He said it's because women can do OnlyFans and how I have 1000s of guys who wanna sleep with me whilst he cant get girls. He said men are expected to pay and its a double standard and a privilege. I was upset but got over it and we went on the first holiday. I went well and he was paying for our food. Then halfway through all of a sudden he called me a golddigger and said I was using him for money. Ngl it ruined the holiday and I barely had money left as he was now demanding we go dutch and he is only paying for himself.

After the holiday I got a job to try to make more money. On the second holiday I paid for most of myself but he bought me a few drinks and McDonald's. I was sad he stopped being a HVM (if he ever was one). I was confused as to why he changed. After our holiday we started arguing more. He got drunk and on text, claimed I was privileged again. He said how it costs him $10 to drive 40 miles to see me which is true. He said how I should send him $5 to make it fair. He also hated how I hadn't paid him back for the holidays yet. To make matters worse, he said he doesn't wanna sleep with me anymore. Then it got even worse, I realised I was pregnant with his child! It was stressful and I wanted the best for our child. I wanted him to buy a new car and send the child to private school. Sadly I was in $5k debt not due to my ex but personal financial struggles. I was excited but worried at the same time. Luckily but also sadly, I miscarried 7 weeks in and I believe it was due to my weight and the stress of my ex scrote.

Within weeks of the miscarriage, he got even worse. He started seeing his toxic friend even more and due to my financial situation I sold my nudes to a guy for $220 and I stupidly told my ex bf. My ex was furious and claimed I was privileged and my life is easy and "females have it easy". It didnt help he was drunk when I told him. A week later I slept with another guy who was also a low effort scrote and I told my ex. He then dumped me and I was very upset but also had peace.

Temptation and curiosity got the better of me though. A week later, I hit up crazy James. He ignored me so I blocked him. I slept with another guy to get over it who was very attractive however he ghosted me after the sex. Another week passed and I decided to hit crazy James up. This time he was drunk and at first we had civil conversation but he kept buying drinks at the bar with his friend. I told him I had sex with an attractive man and he was furious. He said how he was suicidal for being born a male. He said how he is jealous of me for being privileged. I was angry because as a black woman that is just not reality at all. He said his usual incel talking points like dating is easy for women, women can sell pics for money and that men are oppressed. I was so surprised because as a woke woman myself he is so uneducated on what women and black people go through. I couldn't believe that my ex who I dated for 9 months was racist and misogynistic but even worse he couldn't even see his white male privilege. In our relationship I tried explaining to him his privilege and at first he would agree with me however I now see his true colours and realised this whole spoiling me and agreeing with me was just because he wanted to use me for sex. Be careful out there ladies as men will say anything or do anything at first to get sex and once they get bored of you they will reveal the LVM they truly are.