My ex broke up with me because he thinks I'm hateful...

women date misogynists all the time. but men don't accept women who are careful about males and prioritize females. you're not hateful. he thinks you hate men because you suspect they might hurt you (justifiably, since they are the ones who hurt and kill me women everyday) and you value your sisters before your 'bros'. men find that unacceptable. if you trust all men, you're dumb and naive. if you're careful, you're a hateful misandrist. you can't win. men are the smart ones, really. they hide who they really are until it's too late for the woman. i'm sure he did all the trip planning deliberately, to let your guard down and take you by surprise. you never saw it coming and it worked. i think he was intentionally cruel.

What the fuck is wrong with him? He's not high value. He's a incel triggered by actual feminism lmao who can't stand it when you refuse to cater to the patriarchy. This is a blessing seriously. You dodged a bullet. Please block and delete him, he sounds like a misogynistic freak.

This is why I say that men know exactly what they’re doing. He waited to do this after planning a trip with you and telling you he cares and still finds you attractive. Why didn’t he end things sooner if all these things were such a bother to him? He’s like most men - they’re sadists. They like to spring attack things like breakups out of nowhere to hurt and destabilise the women they’re with.

This guy is the one who’s hateful; hateful of the fact that you have firm boundaries that he can’t change. He’s angry and decided to punish you by breaking up with you. Why is he angry? That you are smart enough to pick up on how men behave and the danger they pose to women.

I know how confusing it must be but please know that you’ll get over this demon and move on eventually. You are right to have your views. This guy was and never will be worth your time.

💕 💕 💕

>”I wouldn’t pick up a male hitchiker”

He is mad that you recognize male violence.

>”I only give money to female homeless people”

He is mad that you not only know that male financial privilege exists but that you are willing to make choices about it. Choices that benefit your own pocketbook and not the male homeless person that had the entire world rooting for them to succeed but failed anyway.

There are more male homeless than female homeless. Women work harder in life and work harder to avoid male homeless spaces to avoid the violence of men. Men are the problem.

>”I threatened him with our future children hating him”

Jesus fucking christ. He is angry that he can’t live life penis first for eternity then have all the women he had raw dawg’d and handicapped with children NOT hold him accountable for his penis centric decisions.

…I could go on, but my time is more valuable as is yours. Be thankful the trash took itself out.

As @Gina_Sinalefe said, don't over explain feminism to men. Stop giving men a rationale for your behaviour. He isn't owed an explanation.

With men, it's important that you just observe their behaviours and listen carefully to their comments, to assess their values. We don't need to project our own value system onto them. They will use this information to manipulate us.

Besides, all this justifying, cajoling and explaining is just more emotional labour. You shouldn't have to explain the difference between right and wrong, especially something as fundamental as this. He should have arrived at his own conclusions and values as his life progressed. Clearly the ones he arrived at makes him a massive scrote. Your values don't align. Throw the man away.

The fact that he cared about a literal stranger's safety over your own, regardless if the hitchhiker was a man or woman, makes him trash 🗑️ but especially because the hiker was a man and he said this shows he's ignorant to the danger his own gender inflicts on women. Men like your ex are part of the problem.

Let's just assume for a minute that those behaviors are truly hateful.

He let you think everything was great until the night before breaking up with you, never confronted you on this, and switched all of a sudden in the span of 24 hours. It's psychopatic behavior, if you ask me. No need to cry for this one.

I only have one question, why would you let a man know what you'd do if he left your kids? Too much information. Feminism is not meant to be announced to men, in my opinion. You gave him too much info about you while he was clearly giving too little. I'm not for secrecy in long term relationships, but the disclosure must be strategic. So you have time to vet and assess how the other react to your true self.

Maximizing emotional damage seems to be a common theme with these nasty scrotes! I think it's because they unconsciously (maybe consciously?) want to keep women down, feeling desperate and like they're the ones not deserving of love/respect. Women also tell their friends about things like this (for emotional support), and if you're in an impressionable mindset (or inexperienced/don't understand FDS) it makes you work even harder to keep scrotes attention (gross) because it instills a deep sense of insecurity. It keeps the pickme cycle going forever, basically.

He drove the knife in even harder by purposely, yes consciously and purposely, creating a whole trip with you, making you buy stuff for the trip, then ripping it all away. This was strategically planned to have the most hurtful impact on you as possible. If that's not hateful idk what is? Sounds like he's projecting his own hatred.

He hates you.

As another commenter stated, he knew exactly what he was doing. You're not the hateful one for recognizing truths about the patriarchy we live in. HE is the hateful one for planning a trip with you knowing he was going to break up with you.

Be glad he's out of your life. Imagine being married to a man who hates you this much. Imagine the trauma he would have inflicted on the children you may have had. Imagine the scrote logic he would have indoctrinated your children with. Imagine the lying, gaslighting, abuse, and the absolute living nightmare your life would have been if you had stayed with him.

As long as you keep him blocked, you will move on just fine. It'll take time, though. Nine months of dating is no joke, and I empathize with your pain.

He seems so self-centered that him breaking up with you seems like a guarantee that he won’t stalk/harass you, since he has determined that he “won” the breakup/relationship/etc.

So I would deem this a win to be honest.

This man wanted you to get in a car with a male hitchhiker because he has ZERO protective instincts (and no common sense, either).

Be glad you didn’t have a daughter with him. He cares more about a male stranger’s feelings than your basic safety.

I'm glad you posted this not only for your sake, because he is definetly a scrote... but also as a good reminder that it's not ideal to say these things to any man. Of course its natural, even challenging to not talk about your values, which we are passionate and excited about, but there is still widespread misogyny and anti-feminism everywhere so it feels like giving away intel in enemy territory.

I'm thinking it's better to ask open questions, get their reactions to situations, or simply observe actions to understand where their mind is at. Otherwise they will probably lie, use what you said against you later, slander you, and come out of left field like this after secretly fuming and plotting. I know I've been there, specifically with that agreeing during the conversation and then it comes out as a problem later🥴.

I don't have much to offer that hasn't already been said. I just want to convey how sorry I am that this man treated you so atrociously. I know it will take time and healing, but you will look back on this as a blessing in disguise. This man did not deserve the honor of knowing you and being in your life. He was hiding a true darkness that is now away from you. Cherish yourself. Cry. Seek out support. And please know you are a wonderful woman who will come out of this stronger. He was removed from your life for a reason. Do all you can to forget him. This man would have done further harm to you.

It seems like he waited strategically for your vacation for the breakup to make the most impact. He sounds like a psycopath/narcissist

ETA: Also the fact that he acted this way while you were crying, showing zero compassion towards you. Most people would have more empathy towards a stranger crying than did towards you.

Definitely not hateful. This is the kinda guy that will say you are causing unnecessary drama when you say how you don't like his friend that's a rapist

Good riddance to him, babe! Stay safe out here.

He got another girl to go on vacation with, and he had to think of a reason to dump you right quick. Close the door, and don't let him come back, because he most certainly will. He's seeing if he can break you down to center him instead of yourself.

I think this is a troll post. OP is saying that for 9 months they didn't have ANY clue that their boyfriend was a misogynist until the break-up. That everything was PERFECT until then. I call bullshit. If OP had truly followed the FDS rules then it wouldn't have taken 9 months to realise that this guy is a such a hateful misogynist. He wouldn't be able to hide his shitty opinions that long from an FDSer.