.png)
I only started dating several men at once when I discovered FDS. I live in a big city so keeping a scrotation going on OLD is easy. The benefits are endless:
You get to compare men in real time. Talking to different men about the same things, like a situation at work, a hobby, a political issue, really opened my eyes to what possibilities there are. Like, I never realised it was an option that a man would be impressed by my creative hobby. I now know exactly what it looks like when someone actually thinks my job is interesting. My standards have evolved and gotten higher simply because I became aware of things I could expect in a man.
Rejecting men becomes so much easier because you can justify it to yourself by comparison. If you were only dating one man, you might hum and haw about whether he really is taking too long to reply or if him being boring really is so bad. When you have another one on the go who is better in that regard it becomes easy to block and delete.
Being rejected is also much less bad. When I have what I deem a great date and he doesn't text me, that quiet chat moves down the inbox incredibly fast and the next guy I meet reminds me that the other one wasn't so special. It becomes easy to let go of the fantasy in your head when you realise just how many men are out there and willing to date you. When you understand that there is no shortage, it's suddenly not so hard to let go of someone who obviously isn't into you and block and delete.
It jogs your memory. Which one's the one who never works from home, where does he live again, how many brothers are there?
So get out there are build a scrotation if you can! It has opened my eyes and helped me be emotionally stable while dating.
just getting rid of that scarcity mindset is important so you don't cling to a man because there's just so many.
Number 4 was always my fear of having a scrotation! I get confused between friends as it is! But yeah, all of this boils down to eliminating scarcity mindset, desperation, obsessing over one guy and you’re levelling the playing field. Men keep their options open all the time, so keep yours open too.
I can't even get myself to have a scrotation. Dating, at all, is so stressful. I'd rather connections evolve organically. Instead of having this revolving door of relationship interviews. But I am super scarred by my last, extremely abusive relationship. I am still in a place where I won't let men near me to hurt me.
BRAVOOO! *standing ovation* very proud of you. Another FDS success story! Very happy for you.
Good for you! I still think it requires an amount of energy I am not able to spend
I am a big fan of the Scrotation. It's much easier to hold back and really take your time.
I usually write things down after the date
Yes. I’ve used OLD to practice FDS principles. I haven’t accepted an in-person date yet because so far they have only asked for low-effort dates. However, I‘ve found it possible to replicate a scrotation on OLD by talking to multiple men at the same time (I unmatch them if they don‘t send a message for 24 hours). After (many) months of strictly applying FDS principles, my confidence has hugely increased. It really makes you appreciate how many men are out there. The minute you unmatch one, the next one will replace him. I never get asked out in real life, so this was the best way for me to practice and really make FDS second nature.
I've yet to try this but definitely intend to if I really get back out there again. I'm glad it's working for you! It does make a lot of sense.
How do you build one? Guys don't ever ask me out IRL lol