I had a classmate who looks like the beauty standard in my area. I always thought of how if I looked like her I'd have any guy I want and I would stop being treated badly. She did not have a good personality and her friends left her. She started hanging out with me. We were very close for almost 2 years, we were all day together. Wherever we went, she'd have guys asking her out, in cafeterias male waiters would turn very awkward when talking to her and she got so many compliments from people. At some point she was telling me how so many guys in school felt entitled to her and she felt very violated. One classmate grabbed her and kissed her by force, other guys were grabbing her and making her sit on their lap. Also our school had planned a trip and we didn't go because a group of guys were planning to get her drunk and mess with her. Another time, one guy was being friendly with her frequently in school and he asked her to go for a coffee date, she avoided it and he never spoke to her again, he didn't even greet her anymore. I told her how guys constantly flirt with her and she said that she thinks this happens to most girls. I could see that the attention didn't make her genuinely happy and she was always very suspicious with men and their motives. She was often scared she'd be r*aped. She knew she could grab any guys attention but I think she was much more aware of the downsides which come from her amount of beauty. I imagined that her life would be very different from what it truly was. I thought that she could have a crush on any guy and he'd not ghost her. I thought that she would have a line of guys treating her nicely and being romantic. But it was just more men being awful to her. Women were friendlier to her than me. I still overheard a group of people saying not to invite her to a night out and her initial group of friends left her. She wasn't a very nice person, she was very selfish and judgemental. I left her too at some point but I think our friendship taught me a lot about the reality of being a woman.
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This is a very interesting post xenia.semi. I have to admit I often fall into the trap of thinking that people, especially men, would treat me better if I was prettier but the reality is, this is a myth pushed by the beauty industry in order to sell products. HVM treat all women with respect regardless of how they look wheras LVM are intimidated by attractive women and feel the need to take them down a peg. (Of course LVM tend to ignore women they don't find attractive so these women aren't being treated with respect either).
I would say men treat beautiful women like extra shit....
One guy even told me my sister (naturally gorgeous and turns heads anywhere, even at 50) was too pretty to ever get treated right by men. I can tell you, they absolutely seemed to be extra horrible to her. It also validated everything I ever felt about how men treat pretty girls. I think I've experienced a lot of this too, even though up until my mid 30s, I didn't understand what my looks meant in society. I get it now after a lot of heartache.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCIG8k8Odqo/?igsh=MXZ5eTM5dHA1MWl1eA==
Pretty means men will take more pleasure sucking your prime years and youth out of you. They are vampires.
I think a lot of people treat pretty women worse because they assume others treat her better and they want to make it fair. I experienced a lot of low value men going out of their way to be cruel to me, even when it means they would lose access to me.
Well, I kind of have an anecdote of how a thinner, "better looking" person was treated better than me, by a man. (However, it doesn't mean that the man actually RESPECTS her, but I'll try to explain)
I was in a group project over a decade ago in a class at community college. It was me, the thinner lady, and this man. At the beginning of the class, the man was OK with me, shook hands with me, etc. But when this group project was assigned, the man always ignored me during discussions, to the point where it felt like I was literally not in the group, but talked to the other lady as if she was the only one next to him. The lady wasn't too bad with me, but I was gutless and didn't bring up the issue with her. I was overweight back then, but I'm not a whole lot different now, IMHO. The thing is, I wonder if my appearance (face-wise, I kept myself up) had anything to do with it. I wasn't morbidly obese, but a roundie. I wonder if the man treated the other lady better because she was proper weight and fake blonde and maybe he considered her more attractive.
I'm in my mid-40s now and I'm feeling concerns about my appearance, but my skin has been complimented on several times. I think my skin remains pretty good because of good genetics (my mom aged very slowly until she got dementia) and I refrain from wearing makeup except lipstick, mascara, and brow gel. I like myself that way (makeup-wise).
Back to the subject, I don't know if pretty women get "better" treatment from men because of respect (I highly doubt it - besides to be respected for that would be like being in the cool-kids club in high school), but I've borne the brunt of being shoved aside by a man when there was a more "normal" looking woman next to me. I'm someone for whom I don't heal well from pain.😐