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I made the mistake of going out with someone from work and I don't think I've ever regretted anything so much, I hate having to go with tunnel vision to avoid stares and be careful where I go so I don't put up with nonsense like these:
- When we went out I had told him that I hated another person from the office for how she treated me and he told me that he hated her too and now coincidentally they are friends, even at the time I told him that it would hurt me a lot if he went out with her and to please not do it with me there watching it and he told me: I do what I fucking I want.
- He has ignored me to the extent of greeting the whole office except me AND ITS EXTREMELY AWKARD and when I decided to block him from social media (because it was already enough with seeing them every day as to also see him on my instagram) he became even more aggressive with the ignoring.
- When he had to look for me he would leave me a paper on my desk or send me a message on Zoom and one day I told him to please stop doing that because it was extremely uncomfortable to find papers on my desk and he told me that he didn't want to talk to me in person at all.
I can't even go out with my coworkers because I'm done with his bullshit and I dont like seeing him flirting with other women infront of me hahaha specially someone I told him that I hated
Sorry this has happened to you, OP!
I know you understand better now than to ever date a coworker again... but there are a couple other foundational things to focus on:
Do not share secrets of yours with males, ever... this is why.... 9/10 times they use it against us.
Coworkers in general are really not your friends (obviously this point can especially be made with male coworkers). They can and will use things against you that you share with them. Be friendly, but keep colleagues at arm's length.
Reread the handbook. Sharing stuff like this with a man can and usually will be horribly detrimental to you. https://drive.google.com/drive/mobile/folders/1fuFcfMQLNXslSYv1ngXlh_BSuUYJOwwQ?usp=sharing&pli=1
Avoid dating for a while you work on your boundaries and work on leveling up.
Also, I know it sounds odd, but be glad he is ignoring you. Let him do whatever he wants on Zoom or Slack or papers on your desk, or whatever it is. Let the ignoring go full blast and become strong enough in yourself to eventually not let it bother you.
He's trying to torture you and garner reactions out of you. The game won't work if you multiply the ignoring he is doing to you by a thousand. Ignore him and don't try to talk to him about anything anymore. Eventually he will lose interest in you if you don't respond to him antagonizing you... This is the best you can do in the workplace once things have gotten this bad.
I am so sorry OP.
I feel you because something similar happened to me.
I dated a co worker but I was the one who ignored him because I couldn’t stare looking at him without crying. I was very very hurt.
I assure you, with extreme certainty that he is ignoring you and greeting everyone else but you because he is not done with the situation yet. He want to hurt you because he is the one who is hurt. He is trying to get a reaction out of you to make sure he is still in control. Someone who is mature and indifferent wouldn’t do it.
Don’t blame yourself for dating him. You had the best intention. it can happen.
byr the way, did tou dump or he ended things?
I stand by Flamethrower's point, that him ignoring you is a good thing. Especially if he's acting like a 2 faced jerk, why would you want him in your presence, anyway? It's never a good idea to allow exes continued access to you, because they WILL exploit it.
But I also think it's good that you told him you don't like that he's ignoring you. Men are bullies and enjoy making people uncomfortable (especially women) so if he thinks ignoring you will get under your skin, he's gonna do it even harder, because at least he'll always be on your mind.
Learn to love that he's staying away from you so he can't fuck up even more of your shit, but don't ever let him think that you love it, 'cause he will do a compete 180 and try to be your best friend.
So it may help if you focus on WHY you started dating this guy in the first place, when the red flags were apparent. Were you lonely? Did you think he could provide something others couldn't?