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Hi Ladies
A married friend of mine set me up with one of her friends. She introduced him to me as this amazing guy I have so much in common with.
I had a date with him and he was so arrogant and obnoxious I was shocked.
I give this feedback this to my friend and she tells me to keep an open mind as I dont have the full picture of his personality, how amazing he is blabla.
I usually trust my friend's judgment on things, and she knows him better than me so I agree to continue talking to him, and then... the guy ghosts me. I report this to her and guess what ? She advises me to chase him to make sure he is ok ???
Wtf ? Why would she defend him when he is clearly being disrepectful to me ? Why does she want this to work so much when we're clearly not compatible ? I am confused
Why are you taking your friend's word over your own gut instinct?
Leave him in the dust and don't agree to another setup from this 'friend'.
It's possible your friend's motives are well-meaning. He could be a friend, relative, member of her church, etc and be a completely different person in those settings than with his date/female companion.
Lundy Bancroft brings up how some male abusers are well-liked and respected members of their community. I'm not saying the guy you went on a date with is necessarily abusive, but there are definitely men out there who seem great to the outside world but horrendous to their partners or family.
Potentially she's so deep in Pickmeville that she thinks you must be in hell as a single woman and she's trying to set you up with any man she knows. Is she happy in her marriage?
Clearly your friend is setting you up for failure. She sounds like a pickme and not a good friend at all if she's setting you up w a scrote and making excuses for him
If your friend thinks he's so great, why doesn't she date him?
I'm a big believer in trusting your gut instinct so I would trust your gut if I were you. Also it's very easy for your friend to say that he's a good guy, she's not the one dating him. I'm not saying that your friend is a bad person, I'm just saying that you're the one who went on a date with him. YOUR opinion is the one that matters.
It's been my experience that when someone plays match-maker, they don't want to hear that it didn't go well. The only thing they want to hear is that the date went great and you'll be making them your chief bridesmaid and naming your first born child after them. These kinds of people can get very defensive if you tell them the date didn't go well. I'm not defending this mentality, I'm just saying that their denial is about them and their ego, not about you. Going forward, if someone sets you up on a date and it's a disaster, I would tell the match-maker something vague e.g. "Thanks for setting us up on the date. Unfortunately it didn't work out and we won't be seeing each other again but I appreciate the gesture". Don't give any more detail than that. They'll only argue with any reasons you give so it's better not to give any.
Something similar happened to a friend of mine. Her boss set her up on a blind date with a friend of his. My friend thought they had a lovely time but the guy ghosted her. She was embarrassed to tell her boss. I thought the guy would also have been more respectful given the nature of how the date came about, but apparently basic courtesy is far too much.
Your "friend" showed you her true colors, she isn't your friend at all. She not only set you up with trash, but then encouraged the pickme behavior of chasing him. Eggs do not chase sperm!
Misery loves company and a lot of pickme women want you to also have a scrote so you can suffer and complain together.
I would block and delete the scrote and majorly keep distance from her.
Just want to share that I'm on the same boat. A friend gave my number to a guy, she asked for my permission, I was reluctant but then I agreed because I can just bail, right? And that guy just sent me "Hi". It's actually common in my culture to chat like that but usually it's for people who gave number to the other person face to face. This guy don't even message me what's his name and how he get my number. I don't reply and told about it to my friend. She told me I should've give him a chance, lead the conversation, teach him because he never dated. What baffles me is this guy is just a coworker of her other friend, she doesn't even have a direct connection with that guy but defended him like that. It's quite disappointing to see my friend act like that, eventhough she's been a fun friend, but she does say she want to see me coupled up eventhough I don't really want it to the point I would take literally anyone.
Pickmes will do anything 4 male attention, even when they are already married! I think she just wants the bragging rights of getting a couple together.