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I have chosen to stay extremely single over the past 12 months. (I prefer the term "solo" because it makes me feel even more badass for choosing myself over the poor company of men.) Looking back, I'm amazed at the tender love I've garnered for myself through hard work in therapy, consistent meditation, and strong social boundaries. It's been a true labor of love and even though I misssed male romantic company from time to time it was really well spent.
I created an OLD account exactly 10 days ago, the unpaid version. (The last time I was on OLD was 3 years ago when it was a different structure—the idea of paying for a dating app as a woman gives me the ick.)
I set my perimeters to men 2-10 years older than me. It's now a dealbreaker as I've been completely underwhelmed by the immaturity displayed by nearly all ages of the adult male species, much less the ones younger than me. (Still, you'd think 50-year grown adult men, a full 10 years older than me, would tend to exhibit signs of emotional evolution... alas... a tiny violin plays here...)
Time dump: I spent 20-minute sessions twice per day on the app at most, with some days not opening it at all. More on the matches later.
Within 10 days, the app told me there were... no more men. After finding the vast, vast majority unsuitable for me, I essentially ran out of men to date.
I live in a city of 8 million people.
OLD is just scrotey playing McScrotes boys looking for free sex. I think I'm going to focus on cultivating quality connections in my work and community. Maybe someone will know a HVM they might want to set me up with. Obviously still requires vetting, but at least theres SOME level of accountability for the male. Men on OLD are trash. The amount of lying, cheating, vagueing. It's a trash heap. So many men lie about their age...
I've jumped back on recently to peruse what's out there, and like, probably a needle in a haystack seems potentially HV, but then attraction and compatibility is required too so, yeah. I'm also still healing so not really ready to 'get out there' just yet. But having a look...
I've largely decentred men from my life at all at this point. I'm loving on myself :) and creating a beautiful life.
There will always be room for the right HVM, I'm wired for partnership. BUT I'm proud to say I'm not needy for it these days. If it's not up to par, I'm happy with me thank you.
This reminds me of when I tried eHarmony. It asked me to fill out a few pages of the criteria I was looking for and literally told me “There are no available matches”.
It’s not us, or our standards being too high… it’s that men aren’t pulling their weight.
I hear you sis. The same happened to me and I stopped getting any matches, even though I kept my profile active for the new men who signed up from time to time. Still nothing. So I stopped OLD. Tentative conclusion: the men on OLD aren’t the men for us.
Sis, get off the app. I’ve been off OLD for 3 years. It’s truly a blessing since I’ve accomplished more than any guy I met.
I ran out of men on ALL apps at some point. My age bracjets were +- 5 years years. Never going back.
These apps are designed to keep you on them, so even though it's telling you there are no more people, it just means you've met whatever algorithmic quota they have set in place. You'll probably see more people if you check back later.
I love your description of "solo". 😎 I mean, the Hinge commercials involve the app breaking or disappearing anyway. You were 2 steps ahead. Anyway, I hope you get some worthy suitors regardless of the method.
Same happened to me. They want you to pay for the app. I paid one time for the app and still no matches. I think I had 4 matches in 3 months? Still pointless bc they were either too young or looked Iike they shaved with a weed whacker ugly af.