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I'm convinced that scrotes who love shitting on their girlfriend's hobbies/ interests are doing it as a form of negging. They want you to feel insecure about the stuff you like so that you'll be easier to manipulate. Or they want you to feel indebted to them for being with you "in spite of your cringiness" and less likely to dump their asses if/once more red flags start popping up.
An example of this would be my new friend at work. She's a casual aquaintance, but we're both lovers of Taylor Swift and so of course we hit it off. She's the one person who might be as passionate a Swiftie as I am. However, she recently mentioned to me that her boyfriend is a massive hater who loves to dunk on Taylor's "overrated" music despite knowing she's a Swiftie herself. At least once a week, he sends her some stupid meme about Dumb White Women and their Dumb Hypercapitalistic Obsession with supporting Taylor's rerecorded albums. Keep in mind that my friend is White herself, and she's told him multiple times that the rerecordings feature additional songs that didn't make the cut for the first time around.
And she insists that he's just being playful, but I'm just out here wondering to myself why he's going out of his way to make his girlfriend feel embarrassed and self conscious about something he knows she feels really passionate about. What exactly is "funny" about insulting your girlfriend for her music tastes every chance you get? Like if he thinks Taylor's fans are so dumb, why is he dating one in the first place?
I mean my friends and family have plenty of hyperfixations I personally don't see the appeal in, but I dont make fun of them for it because that's just mean, and regardless of my opinions, those are still things that bring them joy
If I had a nickel for every time a scrote say something nasty and excused is as "It'S jUSt a JoKe" I'd be filthy rich lol.
Your new friend is in an abusive relationship and she's in denial about it. A HVM would buy her merchs, tickets and albums, not ridiculing her for liking Taylor Swift. Glad she has you to share her interest with. Men are so butthurt Swift exists as a beautiful successful woman with a ton of female fans and that her music resonates with many women and girls instead of pandering to their sorry asses.
Maybe mention Why Does He Do That? to your friend?
It's amazing how men will date women and hate us passionately at the same time.
God they always try to tie it back to the "capitalism is bad" argument to act intellectually superior instead of just admitting they are misogynists that hate things women like.
I genuinly despise men who shit on women's hobbies. You're right these dudes hate their gf/wives and are coming from a place of meanness. She needs to wake up and dump his ass. He's negging her.
Ooooh I got a story similar to this, but with a guy "friend" (now probably ex friend because we had a falling out which was his fault for being nasty and sarcastic towards me even though I literally did nothing wrong)
I went to a workshop where we were painting cotton bags and I was drawing a cute Sanrio motive of Cinnamoroll on it. I'm good at drawing and the bag also turned out really nice.
He knew about this workshop but didn't attend because according to himself he's the worst drawer ever. However, he asked me how the workshop went and I sent him a picture of my bag. I also showed him the original pic the motive was based on. You know what his first response was? "You created a monster".
I was so confused at first and then I asked "A monster? What do you mean?". It was such a weird and nonsensical response that I had no clue what he was talking about and at that time I didn't expect him to be such a nasty character that he would mean that my drawing looked like a monster, especially because the drawing turned out well.
But turns out he actually meant my drawing. He explained "You created a monster out of that cute picture, that's what I mean 🤣🤣🤣" but then he added a "I was jk". I was so confused and felt so betrayed because I didn't expect him to be that kind of guy (🤡).
I called him out on it and said that I don't like how he was trying to put me down and he didn't even apologize and kept on saying "It was a joke". He was even annoyed at me bringing it up. No remorse, nothing. He knew exactly what he was doing. It was straight up negging. He knows he's not good at drawing, then he saw that I'm good at it and then felt like he had to humble me, simple as that. But of course he would never admit to that.
Sigh my first more intense crush when I was in high school would always compliment me for my drawing skills, even though he himself wasn't very good at it. Is it really that hard to just appreciate someone for who they are and their talents instead of putting them down for it because in your twisted mind, you feel like they need to be humbled???
There were several occasions when he (back to the ex guy friend, not my high school crush) would say something pretty rude only to then backpaddle and say "It was just a joke, come on!". I still didn't f*cking like it and it wasn't even funny.
And recently I was chatting with him and was literally just giving my two cents to a situation he was telling me about (it was about him texting with a woman for a couple of days only to find out she was trans) and he replied with "I never knew this, wow thanks for the crash course". He also doubled down and wrote "At this chance I want to thank you for all of the explanations and crash courses you always make for the sake of science". And I was just like wtf is happening right now, wtf is wrong with him? I literally did nothing bad?
Mind you, all I said to him was that pics online can be deceiving and that he maybe would have noticed her being trans if he met her irl (depending on the stage of the transition of course, but sometimes you still notice it a little bit, like for example the voice, the build etc.). I didn't mean it in a preachy way, I was just typing down my thoughts without thinking much of it. And he decided to get all nasty and condescending towards me.
I replied that I was literally just giving my opinion and there's no need to be petty about it and what else was he expecting me to say to a situation like this, but he all dismissed it by reacting to my messages with a laugh emoji and sent me a Gif with Homelander from the series "The Boys" having a condescending grin on his face. Soo yeah he was just mocking me. I basically stopped responding to him at this point and he has also stopped texting me for a week now.
Tbh I could have seen the red flags much earlier on, but I gave it some time to see if the first incident was just a slip up (especially since he's also part of a club I'm a member of and see him regularly), but no, it's the way he is, he IS a nasty person. It's a shame because he also had his good sides, but then sometimes he would suddenly just get really mean only to play it down as a "joke". I know he has some family issues, especially mommy issues, but that's no justification and I'm neither his therapist nor his emotional punching bag.
For some reason, he likes to belittle me for going into detail about a topic, for talking about something he's maybe not super interested in, for throwing back his jokes at him and teasing him back (oh when he does it it's jUsT a JoKe but he apparently doesn't like the taste of his own medicine if someone else teases him! What a surprise! 🤡), basically for having a spine and a personality lol. I'm so f*cking done with him. This is another lesson to not be friends with men!
Ovarit user said it best: putting 'white' in front of woman is now the get out a jail free card for misogynists.
If he's picking on her just because, that's not cool. If she constantly tells him how great her music is, that can get old, too. Is he doing this in response to her actions, or no?
I went to the movie and was amazed at her ability to command the stage. Amazing performer. Not a huge fan of the music itself, but there were a few songs I liked a lot. Her country music in particular. Fun time.