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Just posting a reminder there because sometimes the rules make no sense until you experience it yourself. For example, the one about never telling men what you are looking for or your timeline. Never made sense to me until now! Like of course you think you should tell men what you are looking for! you would think you want someone to be on the same page as you while dating…as long as you don’t sleep with them they can’t use it to manipulate you, no way a guy would go through that great of lengths just for sex if you make them wait…right?? Then I dated a guy who knew I was a non religious but practicing Christian and knew I was looking for a serious relationship. He even knew I loved dogs and went out of his way to reassure me although he was allergic he was ok with me getting a hypoallergenic one day 1 lol.
he pushed towards a relationship early on without me saying anything, wanted exclusivity early on without me being the one to bring it up, took me on dates and paid, wanted me to meet his friends, but starting date 3/4 he constantly kept trying to escalate towards sex and I kept having to stop him
and telling him I wanted to wait until I felt more comfortable. Each time he said it was no problem. He was happy to wait. but he would try to escalate again next time. Kept planning thoughtful dates for two months, then asked me to meet his friends and I did and I clearly didn’t click with his friend group. Brought it up to him as a concern because he really seemed to be a friend group kind of guy but he didn’t say anything about it being an issue for him, instead he reassured me he had other friends id get along with better and was ok with it and tried very strongly for sex one last time. I finally told him no and was clear I wouldn’t feel comfortable until a committed relationship because he basically ambushed me with a condom that day lmao. Took me on one more date then dumped me a week later saying we weren’t compatible because I’m Christian (I’m not even religious) and and he’s not, something he lied about being ok with day 1. When I told him that makes it seem like he was trying to use me for sex he denied it because he paid for dates so that meant he wasn’t trying to use me lol like as if I’m a prostitute. Glad I never slept with that one but man men really do either lie to themselves because how the hell did he dump me for lack of compatibility for something I was clear about day 1. Used to think that rule was so extreme because I mean why wouldn’t you want to weed out people early but after experiencing this I totally get it now lol. Either guys like to lie to themselves at best which maybe was the case with him idk or at worst are insanely manipulative. Its amazing! He was very close to manipulating me if I’m being honest like now that I experienced this I appreciate fds more.
>Either guys like to lie to themselves at best which maybe was the case with him idk or at worst are insanely manipulative.
they lie to us
they ARE manipulative pieces of shit
i1ve experienced similar things too. men lying or ommiting things from me in order to get my consent. men lovebombing me in order to trap me in a shitty relationship. i hate them as a class precisely because they hate us first and more. i don't understand why we even try to date them anymore. at this point in my life, i only sp much as talk to men in situations i have absolutely no choice because they make it impossible to trust them.
He didnt care that you were a Christian at the start, and he actually didnt care that you were a Christian at the end, either. Saying that you two were incompatible because of religious differences was also a lie. He just said that because it sounds like a plausible and sensible reason to dump someone. The real reason he dumped you is because he's piece of shit manwhore.
I'm not sure where this is in the handbook, but I assume there's a rule about blocking and deleting a man who pressures us into sex the first time. Make sure to follow That one too.
That dumbass male bullshit where a woman says "I dont want to have sex right now" and the man tries again the next date (or, lets be honest, 5 minutes later) is not to be tolerated. Thats what rapists do, and they know damn well what theyre doing. "Not right now" means "not until futher notice", and we all know it. Punish men when they pull that shit with you.
Conversely every time I've listened to FDS I'll go through a short phase of "hmm was that a good idea?" and then some info will come to light that cements that holllyyyy fuck it really was.
YES. SAME. I just met a guy who I thought was "the exception". HE WASN'T. THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS.
🚩🚩🚩 This means: run. He doesn't care about you or your boundaries, only his own sexual pleasure.
Bullshit.
Yup :--)
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But let this be your reminder: if a man doesn't respect your no, you cut him loose after the first time. It doesn't matter what the guy says, they are just words. The good thing with all this is that the trash took itself out I guess?