.png)
A couple weeks ago I met a younger guy who seemed pretty interested in me. I was kind of wary based on his age, but we had a really thoughtful conversation and on top of that he was really attractive and funny, so figured why not, it might be a good chance to practice boundaries and listening to my instincts...
He initially asked me for IG or snapchat, to which I just laughed and gave him my number instead.
About a week in he made a comment that he'd been "thinking" about taking me out but was soooOOOoooo busy, and maybe we could have a call later, to which I said sure.
Well, a week after that his texting and flirting had increased but there was no call or attempt to set any date up. He asked if I "really didn't have a snap". I told him that I'm not into that and didn't understand why texting was a problem, and implied that if he was looking for nudes to look elsewhere. I should have just blocked & deleted earlier rather than wasting my time when it was clear no date was happening though.
He got offended and said that he doesn't check his texts often and that snap was his main method of communication. But no attempt at making his intentions clear or apologizing for giving me the wrong impression or anything like that. We didn't talk again.
Even if he wasn't looking for nudes or to be a creep, I was feeling like he just wanted to keep me as some ego-boosting text penpal or part of his social media harem. Our text conversations weren't anything like the initial meeting one where he seemed really thoughtful and introspective. They were all surface-level and sometimes overly flirty even when I tried to direct it away from that. Like, if you're sooooo into me, why aren't you making an actual effort to take me out? I'm not naïve.
So I guess I feel kinda blah about it, but I think it's mostly because I keep letting myself assume the best in men even though I KNOW they're like this. It's so frustrating.
But, I don't regret trying anyway, because it let me see where my pickme tendencies still are... like not walking away when he asked if I had snapchat the first time, and entertaining pointless texting with no concrete plans. I need to be way less accommodating.
Just wanted to vent a bit because my irl friends don't really get FDS and think I way overreacted.
Using Snapchat as his main method of communication 🤢🚩
You judged the situation correctly. Good on you for not wasting any more time on him.
To avoid wasting any more of your time, I recommend you delete anyone who asks you for IG or snapchat. Those men are jerking off to photos of women they haven't even met. Don't waste your time or energy on these disgusting scrotes. Delete immediately.
But either way he needs to check his phone whether it's reading a text or on Snapchat. HE WANTED NUDES.
I've met intellectual/ seemingly intelligent men who came across as really wholesome, funny and kind. But it always turned out to be an act to get my guard down and try to sleep with me. Men are so fake and manipulative. They are experts at metamorphosis for their benefit and for the purpose of sexually exploiting women. Studies have also proven that women fall in love through words men tell them. Men KNOW this, infact I've seen so many men make tiktoks about how women trust and fall for a man's words. Which is why men are expert liars and can morph into what they think you like. His words and actions were not in sync they were completely opposite. Ignore all the beautiful words, they're just words and nothing more if they don't translate into action. Watch his actions. Using his words this scrote communicated that he wanted wholesome conversation and claimed he wanted a date. But his actions were opposite. He asked for your Snapchat and then didn't bother asking you on a date. He wanted nudes and to add your his roster of virtual penpals for virtual sexual exploits.
In the future don't give a man your number if he asks for your Snapchat. Walk away.
For me personally, when dealing with all men I operate under the assumption that they are fake, manipulative liars, no matter how nice, wholesome and decent they seem. Guilty until proven innocent. And you know what, I've been correct 100% of the time, whether it was family, the family friends, work colleagues, romantic interest or a stranger. So when the mask slips I am not surprised have no emotion or thought attached to it because I always saw these men as wolves with the mask on, knowing it's a matter of time before it slips.
I'm only like this because I've been manipulated and tricked over and over again by men who came across as decent, kind, considerate, empathetic, intelligent, gentlemanly and could have wholesome, intellectual conversations & witty banter. They all turned out to be wolves and monsters in masks waiting to harm and/or humiliate me.
I would not have given out my real number. Use Google voice number or textnow or textfree apps. Your real number to the wrong person can expose your personal life quickly and they can turn into stalkers to the point of you having to change your number. I never give out my real number...
Ever.
I know how you feel. One of my weaknesses is the need to “see things through” even though I deep down know I should probably cut someone off, so don’t beat yourself about it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had guys adding/following themselves through my Insta instead of asking for my number 😂😂😂. But yeah, anyone asking for an IG or Snapchat is an immediate red flag. Block & delete, sis 💁🏻♀️
You’re so smart for correctly seeing this behavior as having put you into a timewasting ego-boosting text penpal scenario. Block and delete.
You deserve a man who actually likes going out with women FFS.
I’m seriously considering no texting at all. I work in a hardware store full time so it’s a revolving door of sausage. The thing is that HVM is hard enough to come by and I’m in South Florida. I feel like if they want me they have to come to where I am, what did we do BEFORE phones, huh? Maybe they can have my house phone number and try to catch me there. I’m from the 80’s, ok? Lol
Snapchat is a huge red flag of its own. When a man has Snapchat, immediately drop him