I just read a post that someone posted on here about cheapness and how men ruin the holidays.
It reminded me of this story around this time when my ex and I went to his friend's birthday party and he got mad because I showed up with a gift (it was oven mitts for her baking hobby btw). This meant that he'd have to get one as well since I got her a gift. He threw a fit about how I was making him look bad, and that it's alright to show up empty handed. My naive younger self felt so bad that I let him put his name on the card and say that it was from the both of us. Can you imagine that? A guy who is so cheap that instead of contributing and buying his own gift for his friend since birth, mooches off his gf (I met this girl at the time, for a total of 3-4 times) all because he's trying to save money.
I should have let him burn, and not let him say it was from the both of us. Lol
Anyways, I hope she was able to figure it out that it was from me. It's, crazy how one never gets a gift from this person and suddenly, they get a gift out of blue all of a sudden. You'd have to question why now? What's changed?
For the record, I was raised to give gifts and not show up empty handed seeing anyone at their home. Also, it's her birthday, so ofc it's important to show up with a gift. MINIMUM!
Honestly, I struggle to understand how men think it's okay to show up empty handed to parties, eat people's food, and be catered towards by the host. Their presence is not a gift.
I have been conditioned to a lifetime of bad gifts, thanks to my family.
Gifts are tangible proof that someone sees you, your personality and things that make you laugh. A bad gift is a vivid reminder how little someone knows you.
It's heartbreaking to receive no gifts or terrible gifts.
This has become a huge red flag for me over the years, and I encourage others to do the same. I used to make excuses and gaslight myself (just like my family taught me) that it wasn't a big deal, but it is.
Use gift giving (knowing when and what to bring, for example) as a vetting tool.
I still traumaticed by the papercrafted bulbasaur an ex gave me for Christmas. That clown was 24 fucking years old. And I don't even care about Pokemon since my childhood.
I hope she dumped him
HVM don't have female friends to begin with. Period.