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Yesterday I told Texas lawyer guy that his reservations gave *me* reservations so time to say we’re done. I told him I genuinely liked him as a friend and found him good company and really funny.
What niggled at me was how whatever reservations he had just weren’t brought up and discussed. It felt off, big time. I’m all about getting everything out in the open to see if we are on the same page. The fact that we had a pleasant phone convo and that text convo went on as usual while the “reservations” just got swept under the rug didn’t sit well with me at all.
Yesterday we had planned a call but then he said he wasn’t feeling good so later. I was fine with that; I had stuff I wanted to do anyway and wanted to keep busy since yesterday would have been my dad’s 92nd birthday. It was the first birthday without him so I was a little fragile. Not weepy just low-level grieving a first.
I get that he doesn’t owe me any explanation but I’m still relieved I ended it. Bringing up a concern and not addressing it does not work for me. He was also a state away, 2.5 hours so I doubt we would have seen each other regularly, maybe once a week, twice a month? No thanks, that’s not dating and after late second husband, I knew I never wanted another LDR.
Any of you ladies ever been confronted with this, where a man said he wasn’t sure or had reservations? I told my sister and best friend, if he was trying to make me chase or prove my worth, then that exploded in his face. I’m convinced if there is enough uncertainty to mention during the first month of knowing each other, then it needs a conversation and a decision about whether or not to continue. Mentioning it then never defining what the issue was? Spare me any games.
I’d appreciate any and all stories of uncertainties and reservations from your side or his, and how things were handled. Thanks.
And can I just say that this Sunday is just a little brighter because I am completely free?😀
Yeah baby girl, this guy was playing games, he’s lawyer, use your words big fella. He does it all day why can’t he express himself eloquently to you and resolve any “reservations”? miss me with that little mind fuck thanks.
Yes, I’ve had men tell me they aren’t sure and in each case they really meant it, he wasn’t trying to get me to chase him or prove myself and I can be certain of that because they broke it off with me in the same conversation. On the one occasion where he didn’t want to break up, where he wanted to see how things would unfold, I was the one who ultimately ended it but I stupidly stuck around for a few weeks before doing so. I finally ended it because I just felt like shit in his presence, like I wasn’t enough, and I couldn’t enjoy affection from him or sex with him anymore because I no longer viewed it as sincere. This particular man became very emotional when it ended, told me I was the best friend he’d ever had, wanted to stay friends as we had been friends already for 10 years but I said no because he’d hurt me too much. I felt so much better about myself after being away from him.
He texted me a wall of words (the explanation I never expected to get) and said he felt he had to “jump through hoops” to get my phone number so clearly he was in much more of a hurry than me. Then he said he thought my health was “fragile” and I should reconsider the Camino. Way to motivate me!
Like others here I have my horror story of guys like this. If he's too preoccupied to discuss something this important then he is too preoccupied for a relationship. In my case he was a serial cheater, and I regretted not dumping him when I had an inkling that something was wrong. He also came back to tell me I shouldn't be in a relationship, blah blah blah. They're just projecting when they do that. Block him too while you are at it, I wish I had done that.
Ugh...good job ditching this guy! He is not worth your time. Bye-bye. Men who dodge questions...drop 'em.
Game-player & LVM.
A HVM with reservations would just move on. LVM will string you along to try and get emotional and sexual labor from you.
I realize this was a long time ago, but I'm just here to say great job, glad you unloaded this loser.