.png)
I know, I know, I've already done one of these already! Why get triggered over another one? Welp, as long as men complain about a world that caters to them, might as well make fun of them for it.
Onwards! ➡️
Just got into the dating world for the first time (I've been in relationships but never been in a "dating lifestyle.")
Fuck its expensive.
Fair, it is expensive and that's just part of the process. But an HVM wouldn't complain.
I've got 3 dates this week (I know, humble brag, but that's not the point).
3 dates? Wow, he sure is vetting for compatibility there. Trawling for sex much? Imagine that, bragging to reddit about how many women you can get dates out of for some imaginary points.
It makes me realize how low investment it is for the girls. I'm not blaming women at all, I realize this is just how it works and none of us got to decide how society is set up.
Low investment for 'girls'? A man with no empathy for women, that's the kind of man that three women have agreed to go on a date with. The bar is so low that this is the kind of guy that can get three dates. I guess it was a choice between this guy and a fully tattooed, unemployed, weed smoking, vidya game playing, baby daddy of three who still lives at home with his parents.
But seriously, I've got to pick the place and pay.
Imagine complaining about putting effort into a date. Imagine living with this man and him just complaining about everything he does for you.
These girls just get to show up for free and decide if they like me.
You do know you're also deciding if you like them, right? And planning and paying for a date is just part of a woman's vetting process, right? And you wouldn't have gotten three dates with them if you hadn't decided to make these dates, right?
If none of these girls work out, or if they just realize they don't like me, it's like oh well at least they had a good time. For me its like fuck I just spent $300 on people I'm never going to see again.
There's a type of woman who you can spend money on and it's almost certainly guaranteed you will get sex out of her. But that's probably too transactional for this man who thinks he is owed something for holding up his end of the dating process. Also, this man has just wasted the time of these three women who could have certainly spent it on something better. Like women have infinite amounts of time to go on dates with complete losers. There's a saying: battles are won before they are fought. This man has already wasted the time of these three women, and he hasn't even gone on the dates yet.
Anyone got some advice on low-cost dates that are fun but a little cheaper for a first date? I was thinking of like rock climbing or something.
Okay, let's poll the audience. How can this man make himself some red flags so that women who follow FDS can avoid men like him wasting their time?
➡️
Stop taking people to dinner (as a first date). Just meet up for coffee or an ice cream or something on the first date so that you can determine if there's any chemistry.
The obvious red flag for LVM and an easy way to vet those following FDS. Men, we beg you to do this so we know we don't have to waste any more time on you.
Lets do a pickme count in the comments. Anyone want to take bets on how many?
Biggest mistake I see guys make is that they invest up front, but in the world of online dating, we (the ladies) have more options initially, so the smart move for the guy is to get the girl out for a drink or something and let your personality carry you through into the next "round." If you're fun to be around, you'll likely get a second date.
Pickme count: 1
Yes this. Don't do meals on the first date. Stick with coffee/boba, ice cream, yogurt, pastries. This is coming from a woman.
Pickme count: 2
Yep, I never accepted dinner dates when I was dating bc I’ve had bad experiences accepting things from men. Some have insinuated they are owed sex after buying dinner. I would only accept coffee dates and show up early and pay for my own coffee then wait on my date.
Pickme count: 3
Samesies. Unless I'd already been talking to the guy for a while or knew him through mutuals, I don't really feel like we have enough of a rapport for me to want to spend 3 hours with them alone.
Pickme count: 4
Magically, a voice of reason shows up who isn't downvoted to oblivion:
Now I might get some flack for this but:
I would turn down a coffee or drinks date. I’ve rarely had a guy take me out to lunch/dinner that wasn’t conversational. But literally every coffee date I’ve had has been awful:
Dude just sits and stares waiting for me to talk. If the conversation is over, there’s no natural continuation, just me fumbling for the next thing.
Gets confrontational on topics where there’s disagreements—or purposefully asks known potential wedge issues but in a confrontational way (I’m all for finding out deal breakers, but even if things don’t lead to anything I’m not trying to argue with strangers)
Immediately brings up sex
Ends up talking about their divorce/recent breakup
And yet, on lunch/dinner dates, the guys I’ve had the pleasure of meeting seem to have a higher level of either investment or general social skills/awareness.
I get it’s expensive for men, but I find the guys that have complained the most about it are the ones that also complain that they’re not getting laid from their “investment”—and hence typically the ones opting for coffee. They don’t want to be “simps” and have the mentality of getting as much as they can while putting in the least.
Not in all cases… but what jerk that sees women/dating through that lens is going to offer to pay for more than a $5 coffee?
Some dudes pay for expensive meals to put pressure, I’m sure—but least in my financial bracket, I haven’t ran into that.
I say this as someone who financially supported my ex. Planned and paid for 98% of the dates, and then some. I’m not above splitting or paying for dates… eventually. But I’m also hesitant to make it too convenient for someone who is emotionally unavailable, or is trying to speed date multiple women in the same week.
Coffee dates? Walk in the park dates? Picnic dates? No matter how expensive the area surely a coffee date shouldn’t cost you $100.
Ah, the magical walk in the park date. I was wondering when this low effort/low cost option would show up.
I don't understand why people insist on going to expensive dates in the first place. guys always suggest restaurants but I just want a coffee and a walk in the park. the total is always under $30 and i offer to pay sometimes.
Pickme count: 5
If she gets offended that the date is too cheap then she isn't the right girl, IMO...
Whoa, voice of reason 2.
Women who are offended by coffee date don't go on that date just to meet new person. They go to eat for free.
HAHAHAHAAHAHHA,
No.
OP comments: TBF the women I go for are generally looking for a guy that lives a lifestyle that reflects success, and they seem to also make good money too.
2nd OP comment: but I guess the women I pursue do care about these things. It is what it is
So he pursues women who have high standards and complains about those high standards to try to shame other women into having low standards. What a standup guy. Those three women he managed to secure a date with are so lucky.
On one hand I get it, but if the women only care about how things look, I see that as a red flag. And i'm a woman.
Pickme count: 6
so you portray a lifestyle that’s expensive yet you are complaining when women expect you to actually live that lifestyle? Lol
voice of reason 3
That's good for you. Some women influencers on TikTok get to experience being asked for a first date on a rented yacht once and talk about how women should "never lower standards" or "know your worth queen". I mean, of course, they should have standards, we men have them as well. But if dating on a yacht or something along those lines is your standard, good fucking luck finding a partner in life.
Better to be alone than with poor company. Better alone than being MommyMcBangMaid because a guy complains about effort
Why are you spending $100 per date? Some of the best dates I’ve had have been < $25. Coffee, drinks, milkshakes, ice cream dates are all possibilities. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a first date that was > $50 max maybe.
Additionally, I personally used to split all my first dates (as a woman) unless the guy really insisted (and I didn’t think he would feel I owed him anything), and I know plenty of women also will offer to split. Sounds like maybe you’ve happened upon the ones who assume you’ll pay.
Pickme count: 7
There's more, but I'm bored now and it's becoming depressing instead of fun reading all these comments. I am going to end on this worthy note, which I think sums it all up for women:
Realistically, though, if you're dating for a long-term relationship or to build a family, it kinda... well, should be as rigorous as that. You're making yourself physically and emotionally vulnerable and perhaps even dependent on another person. You're risking your physical health if you want kids with them, as a woman. For women, your male partner is the person who is the greatest risk to you for abuse or murder.
Damn if you can't vet for the most intensive and life-changing aspect of your life, when can you?
He wants a first class woman for the price of an economy ticket. It doesn't cross his mind that a high value woman has no interest in cheapening herself by settling for a man who doesn't genuinely enjoy treating her like gold. Why would any rational human do so? But then these men do not see us as fully human, hence their LV behavior and creepy scrote mentality.
This particular loser instinctively knows that HVW are a much better and rarer find than the usual coffee date pickmes, but he doesn't seem to have connected the dots as to why. And he thinks that HVW should lower themselves to his level and settle for low effort cheapskate "dates" because he's just that entitled, and has just that much audacity.
He will never get it, and as he ages and becomes even less attractive and increasingly unable to get dates with all but the most desperate Pickmeishas, he'll blame all women for his inadequacies and personality flaws. It will never occur to him to look in the mirror to figure out why he has such difficulty finding a high quality mate. Such is the state of most men today.
He mentions the high class type of woman he's seeking a few times. He's so close to getting it lol
If a man can't blow through tons of women on cheap coffee dates, he'll need to either make greater effort to plan interesting dates or pay more for lunch, dinner, science museum, an event, etc. and raise his standards to match.
This is a good thing. Everyone wins when we all have high standards, both men and women.
That's literally what he's asking for, and yet he still struggles to understand.
I find it so interesting that these women are going to accept a cheap date or pay for themselves so the man doesn't feel like he's owed something.
I want to shout at them "how do you not see that it is a vetting strategy?!?!"
Would you want to find out 6 months into a relationship for 3 years into a marriage after birthing your first child that the man you married is transactional?
Do you think that man won't withhold household help and childcare if you don't put out?
"if they just realize they don't like me, it's like oh well at least they had a good time." He has no idea how painful it is to sit through a date when you aren't feeling the person
"For women, your male partner is the person who is the greatest risk to you for abuse or murder.
Damn if you can't vet for the most intensive and life-changing aspect of your life, when can you?"
God that's so true and exactly why pickmes are dangerous.