“You’re gonna regret it” — men explain motherhood to me

These kind of guys, as a childfree woman myself, I tell them, "If I could be the dad, I'd consider kids. You throw a ball once a year and do nothing else and you're the best dad in the world. Similar to you, I assume." They always laugh and agree they're shit fathers, thus proving my point and then they agree I'm smart

Having children ages you. It's a fact. I'm 47, but get guessed at 30-32 all the time. One of my patients ( I'm in healthcare, no not a nurse) was shocked when I told her my age. She asked me what my secret was. I named a few things, clean diet, supplements, moisturizer, lots of water, no fast food, working out, then I said....."Oh and I don't have kids." And boy did she get immediately offended! She has two young boys, and defensively exclaims, "Well, I don't believe my children have aged me!" She was younger than me and looked older than me. She had her wedding pictures on the wall and she was way more run down than in those photos. Children and husbands suck the life out of the woman.

Having children/a family is a great deal for men. Married men with children are perceived well in society and have better health.

Having children and a family is a terrible deal for women.

What a bummer.

That entitled impulse that so many people will not stifle when it comes to women's bodies, choices and lives.

Deployed during a time you are physically relaxed and essentially in a vulnerable state.

"Why not?"

How dare anyone ask that.

"Why do you want to know?"

I got hijacked after birthing my first and only daughter by a hospital janitor who ran thru the same talking points with me about not having another child. She felt entitled to question and condemn me...less than 10 minutes after I gave birth.

I don’t even entertain that question anymore. If anyone asks if I intend to have children, I say “nope!”, and if they ask why, I say “mind your business.” Your massage therapist sounds like he doesn’t respect the boundaries that are necessary for his profession. I have a friend who is an LMT. She went to a really good program, and they spent a lot of time talking about boundaries, and what is/isn’t appropriate for a massage therapist to ask. (Basically, if it isn’t health-related, keep it to yourself). Especially during a massage! I’m not surprised, though. Men really don’t understand boundaries, and the more familiar they are with you, the less professionally they will behave, because they see you as a friend, instead of a client. So you might have a working relationship that starts out appropriately, but ends with his stepping WAY over the line. It’s why I hold all of my male co-workers at arm’s length.

Motherhood is like a cliffhanger. You don't know what happens next. The father can become fulltime scrote and let you do most of the raising alone, Or the child is an unthankful brat who does nothing but be an embarrassment or it could be a great chapter in your life.

No matter what the outcome you are expected to put that child first place. I find that extremely unhealthy.

When it comes to ppl I will never allow disrespect. When disrespect is served then you served your purpose. I'd say replace the petty breeder for what he said to you.

You could have just drilled him, but murder? I don't condone that. Ruthless, blood thirsty, queen.

This is like the rudest question on the planet. It's none of man's business why I am choosing to be child free. I was at the grocery store one day, and this Nigerian African man started talking to me.. Asked me if I was married with kids. I said, "Nope. No kids. That ship has sailed! I'm 47. What am I going to do with a newborn at almost 50??" Then he decides to school me on why I'm wrong for my life choices. Like dude, what choices I make for MY life are NONE of your business!

It's none of his fucking business. Full stop.

OMG there's no way I would get into any kind of conversation with the person giving me a massage, especially not one that had the potential to get my tense or riled up. And any massage therapist trying to start a conversation would be crossed off my list forever.

Absolute best massage I've ever had was about an hour long and there was almost zero talk, but all of it was the woman inviting me to change my position. I said almost nothing, not even positive feedback because she obviously knew what she was doing. The aromatherapy, dim lighting, comfortable table, simple calming music, and of course the grade-A massage were enough for my senses to process. Why TF would I want to have a conversation? During a good haircut with my trusted female stylist, sure. But not during a massage. And any massage professional who doesn't seem to know this, would definitely come across to me as either clueless (best case scenario), badly trained (a good reason to not go there again), or trying to cross professional boundaries (and if it were a male, I'd get that ick feeling I always get when men do this.... you're not entitled to my conversation, dude, especially not when I'm half-naked and vulnerable).

Ugh. I'm sorry this happened to you. I am a licensed massage therapist and I will tell you this is just plain wrong because of the inherent power dynamic. The fact that there are MTs that straight up say shit like this to their clients blows my mind. For what it's worth, I'm sure you could find a much more professional MT with equal if not better skills who won't disrespect you.

The last professional massage I got from a male, he complained to me about dating and said that social media and the me too movement ruined women lol... I didn't say anything because I didn't want it to affect my massage. Which is fucked up. There are so, so many talented female massage therapists out there who are more deserving of our money than these scrotes.

Before I even read this post, I will link this fantastic comment about men like this:

https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/forum/main/comment/40e3e476-438b-41da-be96-8e6ba0184b60?postId=63f15f63f5d9ec0012499251