Why the word demisexual shouldn't exist.

I used to lurk AVEN when I was in college. What people that identified as ace said made me sad. Like how they have sex with their partner even though they don't want to just to make the partner happy and twisting themselves like pretzel to justify letting their partner use their body as masturbatory aid.

Sometimes it was so dumb though. "I don't wanna fuck all the time so I'm GrEYaCe." Or "I'm only attracted to InTElliGeNcE." Not being horny all the time and not finding dumb people attractive is just NORMAL. Sigh, people.

I find this absurd as well. I am not dismissing the existence of asexuality. But people don't become ace or demi simply because they can't objectify people and put sex and love in different 'compartments'. If anything, it's hookup culture that should be considered an outlier. Especially in heterosexual contexts. Straight men hooking up with women almost always leads to that woman getting objectified, whether she realizes it or not.

I used to think there was something seriously wrong with me because I’ve never felt lust for a stranger or someone I barely know. I even thought about seeking therapy for it. “I’m not asexual and I’m not not a lesbian, but I’ve never wanted to have sex with a man after three dates. What’s wrong with me?” It’s probably a good thing I didn’t go to therapy, because a lot of modern therapists probably would tell me I’m “repressed” or something.

I've never been called demisexual but I once dated this guy who kept insisting that I was "very religious". No matter how many times I clarified that I wasn't at all religious, he kept saying that I was. I now realise that he meant it as a neg and that the reason he was saying it was because I hadn't slept with him by the third date. (I actually never slept with him because we only dated for about 2 months before he broke up with me). This is how warped society has become. If a woman doesn't have sex with a man by the third date or earlier, she's seen as "demisexual" or some kind of religious nut.

This! I really hate how I've been made to feel weird and "childish" for not wanting to have sex with a random stranger, and I'm very confused by the pressure, weren't men the hypersexual creature that want to f*ck anything, and women the emotional creatures that want connection according to those people? I suppose misogyny is the convenient juggling of concepts so that the outcome always benefits men.

I see this as normal now and how things should be, after all I'm really disgusted by the idea of having someone imagine "using" me upon just one glance, that person only sees me as an object, this is one of my deal breakers in a relationship.

They're treating the word demisexual like a friggen zodiac sign lol.

Thought experiment

If every man was guaranteed to be respectful and good in bed

And every child was guaranteed to have a good upbringing and cared for in society

And society did not consider monogamy the ideal, but had community family structures and support

What would you do? Choose one man for life?

I really identified with this term in college because everyone around me would sleep around. They'd all take someone from the club , fuckboys were around like the plague, the app hinge was trending which is just another tinder. It made me feel abnormal for not wanting to engage in casual sex. I felt judgemental for finding casual sex bizarre and weird. I yielded trying to find a relationship because I kept getting played by fuckboys, and tried to participate in hookup culture. What if it's more patriarchal bs that primarily benefits desperate horny men who will sleep with any woman they can? Why is it that so many men don't care who the woman is as long as there's sex?