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As some of you may remember, I posted about one of my best friends of over 10 years who went radio silent after getting married in the beginning of this year.
You can read the whole story here for context: https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/forum/family-friends/best-friend-of-over-10-years-stopped-reaching-out-and-responding-for-months-on-end-once-she-got-a-man?origin=member_posts_page
TL;DR She had a tough divorce with her first husband, then got with a new guy and is now married to him and ever since she got with that new guy, she basically went radio silent on my other best friend and me. She also has some struggles with her job, she got burnt out from her previous job and has now quit, I don't know what she's doing right now or if she has found a new job because she's not telling us anything anymore.
So this is her second marriage at the age of 27 and she got into a relationship with her new husband very shortly after the divorce finally went through, dated him for a year and then married him.
At first I thought ohh okay that's a bit early though, wouldn't it be better to stay single for a while to take a break from dating and to self-reflect? That's also what I told her back when she announced that she's gonna divorce her first husband.
Also for context, we live in a EU country, my friend has Turkish parents but was born and raised here and her husband is Pakistani who came here a few years ago. I think this context matters because of cultural reasons, they both come from more traditional Muslim households. So getting married and having kids early is very much the norm.
Since she ignored several messages and also didn't bother to reach out herself, I also stopped reaching out, with the thought in the back of my mind of maybe sending one last text to just let her know that if something is bothering her she can always reach out and to then let this be the final straw. I haven't done it yet because I was still pissed about getting ignored and basically getting ghosted by her.
But I still got curious and checked her new husband's Instagram. I only had to type in his first name and immediately found him. And I'm just so flabberghasted.
So first of all he's levels below her league. I only saw him very shortly during her henna ceremony before her wedding, but it was winter and he was wearing a puffer jacket. I thought he just looked average, but if he's good to her, so be it. But on Instagram I've now seen him in full form and also a more recent picture from this spring and damn has he let himself go!
My friend is a beautiful young woman with a pretty face, porcelain skin, nice dark hair and big round hazel eyes. She looks like snow white. HIM on the other hand looks like a potato. Seriously. His face is mid, he's visibly overweight and has thin legs. Yet the arrogance that's oozing from his profile is infuriating.
He recorded some weird prank videos with strangers on the street and posted them on his Instagram, he has videos of himself strutting in front of the camera like he's some Adonis underlayed with some trap music, it's just... weird.
He's giving off an extremely cocky vibe. ALSO he only did these stupid pranks with women, not with other men, because he probably knows that men take no shit and worst case beat his ass, while women tend to be less confrontational with strangers. He's such a coward. It also doesn't look like he asked for these people's permission to record their faces and post them online.
And I've also found out that he's going to establish a burger and hot dog restaurant that's gonna open next month. I'm just wondering, since my friend has also worked as a manager in a fast food chain (which is where he worked as well), who's gonna help him with that? Probably her. Her family isn't rich but I'm still wondering if he's mooching off of her too under the excuse of founding that business. Idk man, I don't really know how this kind of stuff works.
I just can't look at this without thinking that she has ruined her life again. I'm also really worried what happens when she gets pregnant. Her husband looks like such a clown I can't see him be a responsible father. Also freshly married and putting up this financial risk of setting up an independent business? Idk man. It COULD go well, but I bet it's also gonna stress my friend out.
I think I'm gonna reach out to her one last time, just to offer her an open door and if she doesn't take that offer, then I can't really do anything anymore. I'm just frustrated she let her life become like this. I wish she would have taken more time after that divorce for herself and not just jumped into a marriage with the next available man who she's way too good for.
I'm so sorry, this is heartbreaking
Honestly seems like a really difficult situation, and as disappointing as it sounds there's nothing you can do if she doesn't even want to talk to you.
I completely understand your frustrations and you have the right to be angry, you gave your all to be a good friend and you get this in return, the fact that she completely pulled away from you without trusting you with anything shows she doesn't care, if she did value your opinion she'd ask for it.
I think the friendship is not worth continuing as you're only making yourself misereble thinking about her when she's completely cut you off (also don't bother worrying how dumpster fire people's lives are, they're not thinking rationally for them to notice), it's obvious she chose her husband over you, and no man can affect years of true friendship, you're suspecting he's manipulating her but you don't even know that, middle eastern women are pick mes in general, and even if that's true if she easily fell for it then she's desperate and in no way can you wake her up from that.
Just pull away, you can't save everyone, and being sad only affects you at the end of the day. if you want to continue being for her because you think she's worth saving then you have to wait for her to reach out, for the time being focus on your self and don't think that much about it.