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Like I understand that nowadays the internet and social media has an influence on how people interact with each other ( I am only 21 old but feel quite disconnected from some people the same age as me, not sure why) and all that but I can’t help but feel like putting too much importance on interactions you have with a guy that you probably don’t know that well or using instagram as the only way you two are interacting just seem like a low effort way of getting to know someone. I understand it more if you already have some sort of relationship with the person but can’t see them in person often but if it’s a man that is an acquaintance I don’t feel like I am obligated to accept them there not keep them there.
I brought this up because I had a situation with a guy where he sent me a friend request on Instagram and I wondered quite a bit if I should accept or not (I ended up accepting and expected him to send me a message there but he didn’t so I removed him after a while) because I only talked to him one time and even though there’s some flirting, I prefer when a man puts more effort to talk to me in person and it didn’t happen so I moved on. But a friend said that the reason why this guy never approached me after that one conversation was because I didn’t follow him back on Instagram and that he assume I was not interested.
When most likely the reason why he didn’t probably pursued was because he was already dating someone’s when he meet me idk. If he was genuinely interested he would have asked for me number and asked me out but for some reason it’s my fault for not being cool and open enough to a man barely know.
Does anyone feel the same way about this?
They’re orbiters: low-effort, non-commital men who follow but don’t interact. I don’t know what the motivation is unless it’s just collecting more followers. What I hate is men using my chat program as if it’s primarily a dating service. It is not! Chat, cams, music, that’s about it. Those men I’d say are super cheap and quite often desperate. I’ve had to block so many because they simply won’t get the hint, back off or let go. It’s like “I have chosen you to be mine” as if I have no say. Just insane. I’m one of thousands of women who hate men who chat on Words With Friends. I’ll play anyone because that’s all I want to do, just play the game. I’ve taken to preemptively muting all male players on my first turn. I hate that the game makes players wait 10 days before declaring a win, that’s way too long. I feel contempt for all the men who won’t play at all once they find out they’re blocked and then make it transactional: I’ll play if we chat. Nah fuck that. I’d rather mute you and wait for the inevitable win in 10 days because you’re pitching a fit and not being at all sportsmanlike.
A. Be careful who you discuss your standards/expectations with- your friend gave terrible advice about him not asking you out because you didn't follow back. Men don't need you to do anything when they want to ask you out.
B. You don't need to justify that to YOU if feels low effort.
C. I agree with you and any man that is blowing up my ig has too much time on his hands or is doing it to many women.
Last night a man from a nightclub asked for my ig to keep in touch. I said, "Why?" He said, "Do you need to know why". (he wasn't creepy, he was flirting.) I responded, "Yes, I do." His response, "because I want to take you to a nice dinner". So I gave him my phone number.
He will invite me within the next 3 days or he will get blocked. My instagram is private so that men don't stalk me and have to see me in real life vs their imaginary dating me by sending messages.
Vet for men that behave with immediacy NOT urgency.
They want free sex. They'd rather not even pay for a dating app.