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I've been there about 3.5 years, the business about 2.5. I've always had noise issues with them, this past week it's really ramped up with a batshit male employee yelling unhinged things ("bitch, get on your knees and suck my cock", "I'm going to fucking kill you", etc) during and after business hours. I recorded, time stamped and reported it all, but things weren't handled properly and it escalated last night.
I heard his yelling from far away. He must have parked streets away, because even when his voice was still so distant I recognized him immediately but wrote it off as "being triggered by homeless guy squabbles". He yelled up until he got to the front of the business door, directly under my bedroom window. And then i could hear him break through the door and rampage inside. All the while yelling the same things he yelled before during the daytime.
The owner showed up and called 911, the cops arrived but didn't catch him, and i got told "we caught the wrong guy (the owner) by mistake, but you're fine!".
The guy showed up AGAIN a handful of hours later and the cops still didn't catch him!
Now I have to navigate the trauma of this experience, my complete loss of safety as a woman living alone, and the frustrating reality that moving would require me to hemorrhage money I don't have. I understand my life is more valuable than money, but it doesn't make things any easier.
The cops didn't take me seriously when I told them that this wasn't a random smash and grab, they laughed when I quoted the things that were yelled and didn't bother to listen to the recordings I had. What if this guy comes back again? What if he brings a gun? I don't have a support system here, so I don't have a place to escape to for the time being.
I know my feelings are heightened due to the trauma of it all, but I feel utterly defeated. How could so many people dismiss this unhinged behavior and the danger risk coming from this one man? How would my experience differ if I weren't a woman?
Any words of wisdom or comfort would be much appreciated.
Check all your windows and doors from the outside (if you're able). See if any locks need to be replaced.
Splurge on heavy velvet blackout curtains so that anyone outside can't see inside even if you have the lights on. I use these and they work well and are affordable.
Replace all the strike plate screws in your exterior doors with heavy structural screws long enough to run into the framing. Here's a video showing you how & why to do it.
Buy an aluminum baseball bat and keep it within reach. Find a friend who will throw stuff at you to help you practice (also GREAT anger management lol).
You need to continue to escalate with the police. Don't let them see you unsure, don't allow them to brush you off. If they see that you aren't going to drop it and you're determined they'll eventually do something about it. Squeaky wheel gets the grease. If nothing else there will be a trail of paperwork that you can use to either break your lease (with any reasonable landlord) or in court (I hope you don't end up there). ALWAYS request copies of the reports, that way they actually have to do the paperwork.
If you have a couple old video capable phones laying around, you can set them up as security cameras using an app called Alfred. It alerts you when movement or sound is detected and keeps a recording of the event for 30 days, and you can text/email links to the recording.
Please consider moving asap. This guy has identified you as a victim. He isn't going to stop. When you do move, splurge for a P.O. Box and make sure that's the only way anyone with your previous contact info knows how to get in touch with you.
I am so sorry this happened to you and thankful you’re safe. Take a beat and be good to yourself, PTSD is real.
One thing that has completely changed my sense of safety is a latch lock. You know those hotel-style locks that prevent anyone from getting in? That. I bought one for $7 and had my superintendent install it in my home. It has made a tremendous difference because no one is getting in, no matter how heavy or insane they are. [Edit to add: tested with feigned attempts from a 250-lb. man. It doesn't budge. I sleep much, much better with this thing.]
Of course that doesn’t guarantee a 100% sense of safety. Nothing does. But small investments like this go a long way. (I also sleep with a bat-like weapon under my bed within reach.)
I feel your pain.
You can buy dowel, or broom handles and cut to size to jam in the window fram, either vertically or horizontally. Then they can't be forced open.
Leave a pair of old men's boots at your entry door (front or back) so it looks like there's a bloke living there.
If you get a baseball bat, put a sock on the end so an intruder cannot grab it off you. They pull off the sock instead.
Edit to add: get a dog if you can, even a small dog is a good deterrent.
Get a gun asap. When seconds count, the police are only minutes away.
ACAB.
I'm not a crazy liberal that wants to abolish the police or prisons. I want a radical change within the force that removes all the domestic violence ignoring racist supporting cops.