Starting to realise my male friends likely never were my real friends

Every male friend I've ever had has either confessed to having feelings for me, or I could tell by their behaviour that they did. I didn't think about it too deeply so I never saw it as a big deal; in fact, it even flattered my ego to a degree. And I guess I haven't witnessed the ugly part of it either, until today (rant incoming)

I knew someone who, I thought, was a good friend of mine. He seemed genuinely interested in my well-being and has always been a gentleman to me. I had no interest in dating him, though, which is probably why he fell of the face of the Earth shortly after he reconnected with his ex. Which I can understand, sometimes you don't wanna make your partner jealous by talking to other women so I moved on with my life. He re-emerged a few days ago after - yup, you guessed it correctly - breaking up with his ex. Apparently he "was giving it all to his ex but now he's back to being himself", sorry he wasn't in touch, and hey, could he have my new number to be in touch more often because he couldn't get me out of his mind? And that last part made me feel really disgusted.

You see, my country is at war, and I became a war refugee shortly before we went NC. If my friend was, for all I know, alone in a foreign country, far away from their family and friends, fleeing the fucking war, the least I'd do is a "hey, I hope you're okay, let me know if there's anything I can do to help, and I'm here if you want to talk" from time to time. Not just pretend they didn't exist until I was single again and could try to get into their pants. I don't think I've ever felt so objectified in my life. Gross gross gross. I've contemplated leaving one last message to point out his hypocrisy and messed up way of thinking before blocking so he feels bad and at least starts to comprehend what he did wrong, but then I realised he likely already knows. He just doesn't care. Endlessly grateful for FDS, I would have likely never recognised the scrote in him without you, ladies, but I know better now ❤️ My NY resolution is to not let trashy men treat me like trash ever again, going strong so far.

Went on a tangent there but yeah, it's low-key tragic how men will pretend to be your friends

until they realise they have no chance with you or find someone else to date, while you genuinely believe you two to be friends. Never investing my time and energy into male friendships again unless the men prove themselves to be HV first.