I wrote a post a few weeks ago about a cousin (I'll call him TJ) who I've never met who has been persistently asking my dad for me to call him. I have sensed something is off about the whole thing, especially since TJ doesn't ask for my brother's number, only mine (my dad gives this theory that it's because I live with him (dad), but my brother doesn't, but I'm not sure I buy that). My dad told him "I gave her your number" (he was lying for me). Don't get me wrong, my dad can be a scrote, but it's complicated and I'll save that for another time. This time around, however, TJ called my dad today and according to my dad, has become angry that I am not calling him. My dad is telling me not to worry about it, but I'm worried that my dad (a people-pleaser with major image issues) will end up telling me to call TJ to placate him. TJ lives either one of two different states, not too near my state, but when someone is being that pushy, they feel like they're right next door. It's a pressure that is sitting in my chest (it's not a physical feeling in the chest, but a "mental pressure").
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Maybe he's dying and wants to give you an inheritance. Has your dad not asked him WHY he wants to speak to you so badly? If not, he should. He needs to investigate why he wants to talk to you..
If your father does end up giving this cousin your number, don't answer if he calls. If called out on it, you just say "Oh, I'm really bad about answering my phone. If you have something you need to say to me, just tell my dad and he can pass on the message". If he calls and you accidentally end up answering, just pretend you can't hear him and say something like "I can't hear a word you're saying. The line must be really bad. I'm going to have to hang up". If you persist with ignoring him like this, he'll have to get the message eventually.
Does TJ have children or a wife taking care of him? If not, I have the slight suspicion that he is trying to guilt or manipulate you into becoming his free caretaker. Unmarried, female relatives are always the first people they try to pressure into that.
Is there a way you can make him put it in a letter? A phone call can put you on the spot, but a letter (or, I guess, an email) can be laid aside and ignored indefinitely.
Also, if what he's wanting is something not good for you (a caretaking request, financial question, or any other intrusive thing), which I suspect it is or else he wouldn't mind saying it to your dad -- then forcing him to put it in writing is bad for him and good for you. I bet he would refuse to put it in writing, though, whatever it is -- and his refusal would be yet another clue that it's something not in your best interest.
I don't know if anyone is following this post anymore but it turns out that my brother gave the relative my number without my permission and I'm really pissed. I got a text from an unidentified person asking "where are you?" and the area code seems to be from the same city where the relative lives. The person didn't say who they were, but I strongly suspect it's him.
I forgot to mention a concern. Isn't it true that someone who has your phone number can track where you are? This is another major reason I'm scared to give him my number.