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I'm child free and don't particularly want kids, but I do enjoy volunteering with kids. Too many pickmes are rushing into things with men, and I know many that have actually tried to get pregnant thinking that it'll "save the relationship" 🤡 baby momma culture is a trend that needs to stop. Being a single mother is a struggle, and that alone is enough of a reason to think long and hard and have serious vetting and commitment before trying to get pregnant.
I need a space to rant about how much of a toll pregnancy can take on women. Morning sickness, hormonal changes which also make your moods fluctuate, cravings, plus the swelling, tenderness, etc. Several women in my family had their feet grow - and I love my shoes. The weight gain. The many doctor appointments, the you can't eat this, you can't do that from the doctor as well as the HEAPS of unsolicited advice from strangers. The scars, stretch marks, the possibility of tearing, all the complications that can put you and the baby at risk... even just having the extra weight of the baby growing inside you seems so exhausting and like it can be hard to move around and sleep.
Plus in the US it is so expensive to get medical care, having a baby puts many in a good bit of debt just to have the baby in the hospital.
Mentally, pregnancy sounds like it'd be extremely taxing, even if you're really wanting to be a mom. I imagine you'd be excited, anxious to do what's best, frantic about preparing, and stressed and upset about strangers unsolicited, rude advice. Post Partum depression is another serious thing - which not enough people talk about. I think they said it's hormone related so it could probably happen to anyone.
The way society treats childbirth and mothers is especially irksome. Childcare is so expensive and questionable, maternity leave isn't a real thing for many companies and the ones that offer it have it for a relatively short period of time. A lot of couples both work, so then it can become expensive and grueling to ensure the baby Is in a safe and reliable daycare /babysitter. Family isn't always an option for some.
Out of all these things, the thing that gives me the ick is how a woman looses her entire identity when she has the baby. Society now just sees her only as a "mommy". Even in dr offices and at schools you'll hear the mother be addressed as the "mom" rather than my her name. It seems as soon as the mom gives birth, everything is about the baby. How's the baby doing, let me see the baby, etc. Nevermind the mom who just went through one of the scariest and happiest times of her life, is probably in a ton of pain and downright exhausted. And now she's being pested to see if she can breastfeed, having visitors come in, everyone will crawl out of the woodwork wanting to meet the baby yet no one asks how they can help her out.
I take having a baby very seriously - more people need to as well. It's incredibly risky, expensive, stressful, and taxing on her body and mind. In a lousy relationship, it'll definitely add a lot of strain. As a woman you basically will need some help with things, as you heal up. You will need to rest. Babies require a lot of love and care to grow into good people. Doing it alone or with a scrote is a hellscape.
Society expects every woman to cast aside her identity, feelings, and needs all when a baby comes around. It's not healthy and ridiculous. Dad's are treated entirely different whilst a woman is seen basically as the sole caregiver and 24/7 babysitter/nurse/teacher/cook/entertainment for the child. I'm so tired of seeing exhausted moms doing it all while dad plays video games or isn't around.
I believe that children can be a blessing and really deserve parents that are all in - they already built a marriage of love and trust and are willing to put in their all for the sake of the child. Sure anything can happen - I don't blame single moms I respect them for all they do - but we as women need to really be vetting these guys long and hard before trying to get pregnant.
Society also needs to stop shitting on single moms. We have all been pickmes before, we have all done risky things, we have all seen what we thought was a "good guy change into a scrote" before we knew what vetting was. Instead, Society needs to start talking about deadbeat dads and scrotes in the ways that they deserve. Funny how scrotes always figure out a way to try to blame women when he's the reason she is a single mom.
I'm just saying we are now here at FDS. we have the resources here to pick better men, let's use it. You can't even get an abortion now either, which really makes a way out of an unwanted pregnancy even harder.
I'm childfree as well, but I've been thinking lately about pregnancy in general and how males act as if it's a service women owe them. Not just decrepit dinosaurs in governments, but a regular-degular men too.
Pregnancy is donorship. You donate your womb and your body's resources to other human to grow inside you. And I think women should aggressively start letting scrotes know that bearing their children is not a right or a service, but a massive privilege for which they owe us an actual monetary compensation. Because their 50/50 help is not enough for enduring a sickness for almost a year and ripping your vagina from urethra to anus. I think women as a whole should reassess the cost of pregnancy (physical damage, loss of career opportunities, etc) and start making demands to governments and men.
Sorry, don't know how to explain it better, I'm struggling with a language barrier a bit. Anyone else thinks this way? Thoughts?
This was prompted because my coworker was tearing up the other day. She recently had a baby and breastfeeds, so she Pumps. Her husband is a scrote and now she's a shell of herself after having 2 kids. The scrote guilted her into attending his social event to show her off, and she forgot her pump. He wouldn't turn around and she spent the weekend in pain and very uncomfortable.
She went from being a very intelligent, successful, career woman who'd speak up and co tribute a lot at work to now being so shy and she negs herself. She will literally tell us all how she isn't smart, can't keep up, has stupid ideas etc. Her husband negs her and is trying to force her into only being a "mommy" because he wants to force her into being a SAHM.
He's military as well. Anything she does now it's all about the kids. He has her brainwashed and she won't do anything for herself, he guilt her and she believes it.
Agree with all this. Having a child is not a decision to take lightly.
Also can we talk about why the phrase "mom guilt" (but no "dad guilt") exists, and "Dad bod" but no "mom bod".
Baby mama culture absolutely needs to stop. Baby-trapping happens on both sides, by pickme’s and scrotes who stealth. It’s an irreversible power move used to manipulate, using children as pawns. So many of my childhood friends got knocked up by the first scrote that told them he loved them. Their whole identity is just being a mother. It’s even in their instagram bios lol. They became moms so young they never had the chance to experience life as a woman in their 20’s or even 30’s. They never got to experience that rite of passage and coming of age. They are just a shell of the person they could have been. It’s sad.
Besides going anywhere out in public where mothers are likely to be, all I have to do is browse the r/breakingmom and /regretfulparents subreddits to quickly feel validated in being childfree.
And if I need an abortion I will get one, or die trying. I will not be an incubator for the spawn of a rapist or a low value man, or a social slave to males or children or anyone else.
And that's that on that.
I kind of like kids who are wise and mature and hard working If you look at the whistle channel on YouTube you see all kinds of kid prodigy and I think those kids are great but in the minority. I find kids in general are incredibly annoying and I rather not have them around.
Read this- it explains everything you're wondering about
https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/promises-i-can-keep-why-poor-women-put-motherhood-before-marriage_kathryn-edin_maria-kefalas/297470/item/4451008/?gclid=CjwKCAiA9NGfBhBvEiwAq5vSyyKGKcozEpqBqqrKHsb7T0MvMUPsfaGFtVQclQcBqeOH2kJyHRcczBoCM6QQAvD_BwE#idiq=4451008&edition=4809067
It's strange because there are women out there who will have like 20 kids. Or all those women who are having Nick Cannon's children. Like the kind of warped and delusional mindsets that lead women to make those decisions.
ALL FACTS. not a SINGLE lie detected