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These memes always bothered me for some reason but now I can articulate why.
It's just putting the victim and offender on the same level. A boomer woman going "haha I hate my husBAD" is not as socially accepted as a man doing the same. (Look at how even the sweetest groveling libfems are treated when they dare to question the hookup/kink culture narrative.) Odds are, she had no choice of her groom, or the social pressure of your eggs will dry up, women hit the wall at 25, etc etc was getting to her. Historically WOMEN are trapped in unhappy marriages, and MEN are the jailers.
Men have always been allowed to choose whichever woman they wanna marry. Their misery (if it even exists at all and isn't just bog-standard woman hating) is entirely their own doing. And even if they are, they're still receiving free cooking cleaning & laundry services that boomer women in unhappy relationships don't get.
Are The Straights Okay memes seem to completely ignore this historical fact and shame both halves of the miserable gray-haired couple arguing in the grocery store. To act like both partners are being equally toxic just makes me hate these memes. I only like the ones where it's clearly shaming the man.
It's so insulting that LGBTQ+ folks, especially gay&bi men, would have the audacity to laugh at women's pain like they have ever experienced it.
So, what do you gyns think? Do the bi ladies here agree with me or no?
I never thought about it this way, but yeah, something was always bothering me about those memes as well. It lets gay and bi men off the hook as if they weren't just as misogynist deep down but of course that doesn't matter as long as they're not romantically involved a woman. 🙄
I'm glad for the increased backlash against wife-hating "boomer humor," since it's horrible to have matrimonial misery normalized in heterosexual relationships. However, it's true that all these memes condemning "the straights" hold women accountable for the flaws of their male partners (blaming women for the actions of men, never heard that one before 🙄). Lesbian couples can certainly have their own unhealthy dynamics, but the overwhelmingly common cause of unhappiness in relationships is men. Women in relationships with other women have the lowest levels of psychological distress due to marital strain; women in relationships with men have the highest.
I hate those memes. Because yeah, it always hinges on men's bad behavior, but then lumps women in like we're jUsT aS bAd. Or it characterizes (men's) bad behavior as being essential to hetero relationships. As if we prefer it that way. Plus it let's gbt men off the hook, as if they're just so great at relationships. Gbt men are just as deranged as straight men.
Just going to point out some reality here. Straight people are mainstream because of sheer numbers and they are building more of the society and taking it forward. Memers are not that and pretty much fringe.
I feel there's a lot of fringe messages becoming popular over real issues. Not saying it's a complete bad thing. But, in the exchange I lose my focus and then perspective.
Toxic people with a specific crab mentality can see their peers finding a way through established norms to keep going on without friction. They, meanwhile, have a lot of friction in life. Nothing compared to a woman's life. Yet they propagate that to bring others down.
To sum it up, IGNORE. BLOCK AND DELETE SUCH PEOPLE FROM YOUR LIVES WHO'D EVER THINK THAT A STRAIGHT COUPLE IS TOXIC WHEN THEY ARE TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING IN THE BIGGEST MARGIN OF ERROR. HOW ABOUT HELP THEM AND NOT LAUGH BEHIND THEIR BACKS FOR ONCE?
lol cuz us hetero people are finally being vocal about how bad and publicly shaming each other's eff ups. I'm of the opinion that bi and homo folks just gave up on the other gender for the same reasons the heteros often complain about.
I think the point is that things *shouldn't* be the way they have been historically. Gay people, of course, understand this. They've had to build relationships from the ground up in the face of a society that didn't want them to even exist.
So then they look at straight relationships in which no one is finding any joy or fulfillment, and wonder why they're following historical pressures to get married and stay married, even if it's to someone you hate. Having your relationships bound by historical pressures is something that is basically unfathomable to most gay people today, so they look at modern straight people doing this, and are confused.
I'm sure it exists, but my perception of the prevailing discussion around this isn't people laughing at women's pain; it's people yelling "GET DIVORCED". To be honest, the discussion seems pretty similar to a lot of the content on FDS: a combination of "Wow these men are shitty" and "Why are the women staying with these awful men". The advice is the same as we would give, which is LEAVE.