So, my father died 30+ years ago due to medical negligence and conspiracy. My mother inherited a huge amount of money from the compensation. When she dies it'll be spilt between me and my sister (who is married to a financially controlling scrote). My mother is worried about him controlling my sister's money when she's gone and so am I. As all he cares and talks about is money! He works endless hours as a manager whilst my sister looks after their 1yr old. She works too but he's already told her to give up work as childcare costs too much!!! She refuses though! We've already been given a good amount each to which id paid for nice holidays for me and my kids and have saved some. My sister has paid for a shitty September uk holiday and the rest has gone on debts...probably his debts. We're organising a day trip together for our mum's birthday soon. My sister actually asked me to go halves for our mothers £20 ticket!! They have a joint income?!?! This made me angry, she is becoming a miser penny pinching idiot just like her husband. I said I'd rather just pay in full as it's our mums birthday. She then says that she'll put towards her fish and chip meal instead 😡 I didn't even reply to this and am regretting doing anything with them but I'm doing it for our mother. Honestly, It makes me so angry that because they are married he will be entitled to half of my sisters money and she's turning into his obsessive money ways! I on the other hand am single and will have it to myself without any scrote being entitled to it. This is why you shouldn't get married folks 😂
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He WILL control her money the nanosecond it hits her bank account. Continually refer to him in conversation as "the gold digger" to drive your point home. Honestly, your mom should give you the money and you can parse some out to your sister so he doesn't get his grubby paws on it
Can she leave it all to you conditionally? I wouldn't recommend this in most situations but you seem infinitely more invested in making sure your sister actually receives this money.
Talk to your mother and do some research to see whether a trust fund could help in this situation.
Re: her not wanting to spend anything on your mom's birthday outing -- It could be less that your sister is picking up his stingy ways, and more that he's somehow extended his control over her current finances, keeping her on a short money supply, and she's anxious. Can you get her off alone for a day-long visit and slowly work your way around to these topics? It might take a few hours of building her trust to get to that part of the conversation. Also YES to the suggestion of setting up a trust. Definitely talk to your mom about this.
In most places in the United States, an inheritance is not considered community property as long as the heir keeps it in their own name only, and doesn't deposit funds in a joint account. I realize this may not be the same in the UK. But it might be good for your mom to check with an attorney, to see if there is some way to keep him from getting access to the money.
And yes, he sounds abusive. I'm glad your sister isn't quitting her job. I hope she can get away from him.
Maybe you can write in your mom's will that all her money goes to your nieces in a trust that can't be accessed until they're 25?