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What's up with men's obsession with bringing up loyalty as a desireable trait !? Every time I see a dude listing what he wants in a woman "loyalty" is ALWAYS what comes up on their list beside "respect" of course...
I yet to see any woman demanding loyalty (since it's a given in a commited healthy realtionship) yet men feel the need to spell it out even tho they are the ones that are known to cheat the most, resist monogmy, and the infedility and whoring is mainly on their part!!
It seems to me that men are obsessed with bringing up loyalty because they think women are notorious cheaters like them, basically they project what they want in a woman because they themselves lack it.
At this point everything that comes out of men's mouths is staring to feel like a red flag to me
Edit: Just how men tend to project their degenerate nature on women...women tend to project their empahtatic good nature on men too. And here's a further proof that my observation about men's obsession with faithfulness is true
They are abusers. That's all this is.
What they actually mean is "I want a woman who stays "loyal" and "respectful" to me no matter what I do to her. I want to be able to cheat on her, disrespect her, mentally and physically abuse and rape her without consequences."
True loyalty is earned, not demanded.
A man verbalizing demands like this is always a red flag, even if the demands themselves seem reasonable. I just find it incredibly icky when a man arrogantly lists off his “needs” unprompted, often with a hefty side of “these days, women aren't X anymore”. Sir, I'm not auditioning for a chance to prove to you that I'm not like other women. And of course, a man talking about respect and loyalty is almost always a controlling asshole. He wants a free pass to do whatever while his partner acts like she is cool with it. He wants to stay broke and irresponsible and she isn't allowed to leave because otherwise she'd be a heartless bitch. He wants someone who is compliant and malleable. In a man's language, “respect” means subordination, and “loyalty” means self-sacrifice. And most of the time it means “she needs to be loyal to ME and respect ME”, it's not like he holds himself to that standard as well, he feels worthy of respect and loyalty at all times because duh. Or he’ll try to argue that he’s reciprocating by providing for you, which is another way of saying he thinks you are a service he can buy, an appliance with a clearly defined function. I'm convinced that good men use entirely different language. My partner always says it's important to be “good to each other”, notice how it's a two-way street here. He has been cheated on before but he never goes off about loyalty and whatnot because he knows you cannot control your partner, nor should you want to. Wanna know who complained about being "disrespected" all the time? Yep, my abuser.
Yes any guy obsessed with respect and loyalty is a cheater in my eyes. That or unresolved issues from trying to control an ex who probably wasn't even cheating.
I mean...is it us who have a notorious reputation for infidelity????
Trump is always demanding loyalty from his political sycophants. Anyone who verbalizes how another person should be loyal to them is deranged, narcissistic, and untrustworthy themselves. It’s insecure projection.
I think they're confused. Because most women I know are loyal to a fault.
Men on the other hand cheat, lie, are man whores.
But for some reason, when I was OLD men would always bring up early in conversation that they were cheated on. They would sometimes use this as an excuse to not want a relationship. 🤡
To me demanding loyalty is a red flag.
"I demand that my future wife doesn't murder me or beat me." See how ridiculous that sounds? It's always projection.
Yes, it is a red flag. Women are loyal by default. I'd say this is more about projection than about control. It's not difficult to get a woman to not cheat - we naturally don't want to.
Yeah men write this on their online profiles and none of them ever turned out to be good…
Saying you want loyalty in a dating bio is like telling a waiter you want your food without salmonella. No crap! But the statement gets an ominous feeling when u realize that the person asking that too is alos a chef....
Loyalty=ride or die=put up with any and all of my BS, self sacrifice your needs for mine.
Women assume men are as good as they are, and men assume women are as awful as they are
As someone who’s currently arguing with my soon to be ex husband constantly it really seems like it means “you still have to sleep with me and be nice to me and pretend you’re happy even after I screwed up your life or I’ll have a tantrum that you’re so tired of being my mommy and my flesh light and even if you’re still willing to lay there and close your eyes while we fuck and zone out so that I can cum in two minutes and get this over with I’ll expect you to cuddle afterwards”
I love this post so much because it’s something I noticed about men too. The number of men I’ve heard mention the need for a woman to have their back, be loyal and trustworthy always made my ears perk up because I knew it had to do with them being badly behaved and wanting a woman who would look the other way and make excuses for them. I always knew that it wasn’t for genuine reasons they wanted these traits in a woman. Isn’t ironic how they ask for these things but won’t be/do the same for their partner? It’s an absolute joke.
The other ladies have explained what’s going on perfectly - men who ask for these traits won’t give them to their partner and have sinister intentions. They are asking for what are, ordinarily, positive traits, but what they mean is they want doormats that they can walk over. Like what has been said - why they would make a point to ask for something in partner that would be given? That's how you know that they're doing so because they are the ones that are up to no good.