.png)
Scrote #1: A good friend of mine (let's call her Jenny) from high school was telling me how she met and became friends with a guy (let's call him Frank) that lives in the same building as her.
Pretty much right off the bat, he would make sexual innuendos which then proceeded to him holding her by the waist one time she was walking with him to his apartment. She told him, countless times, that she wasn't interested in him to which he would say that he understood, yet would then proceeded to do more. Once, she told me that she was walking to the door of their building, to exit it with him and he stroked her arm then touched the small of her back. When he started to physically touch her which began after he would randomly make sexual jokes, she would always recoil from him but he never seemed to get the message.
After a good amount of time, Frank brings up in conversation how he's getting MARRIED soon and proceeded to invite her to the wedding! Jenny was shocked that a guy that had been so inappropriate and acted single was actually engaged to be married! She told me how shocked she was because he had never mentioned that he was seeing anyone and never spoke about him dating anyone, let alone him having a fiancée.
Scrote #2: Frank has a friend, who is a scrote himself. This guy (let's call him Sam) also lived in the same building as her but has since moved out. Jenny was talking to a friend she made in the building (let's call her Mimi). They were talking in Mimi's apartment and had the door open when Sam walked by and Mimi called out to him to say hello. Jenny told me how he had no interest in talking to Mimi and quickly responded in a less than enthusiastic way and went into his apartment. She told me Mimi had a clear crush on him, which Mimi always denied meanwhile, Mimi was always trying to talk to him and get his attention but Sam just never seemed interested.
Jenny then tells me how Mimi invited Sam, her (Jenny) and some other friends to dinner. Sam offered to pay for the meal after everyone was done and Jenny thanked him. For some odd reason, he had an attitude with her. I can't remember why exactly but it was somewhere along the lines of him being insulted that she thanked him for being a gentleman which I guess, he believed, he was; so to him, he didn't understand why she was thanking him. She, just like me, couldn't understand why he wasn't flattered but was instead, irritated.
After the dinner, anytime he'd see Jenny, he'd say hello and walk by her when they'd see in and around the building but always kept to himself. I forget how they started to become close but they started to talk more and then became friends. He disclosed how he had a girlfriend but would subtly flirt with Jenny here and there. After some time, he told her that he and his girlfriend had broken up and that it was for the best.
Some time into their friendship, he invited Jenny over to his apartment to watch a movie. They sat, watching it, on his sofa. They talked while watching and he made his move; he turned to kiss her, which she reciprocated because she had started to like him and crushed on him hard. He then suddenly pulled away, panicked and started to say that they would never work as he's really busy with work and they have an age difference of 4 years. Jenny was confused by all this because 1) he already knew how busy he was with work and 2) he knew her age before that day. After his panicked rant, they finished watching the movie, with awkward tension lingering in the air and she left his apartment.
She then told me that before and after he moved out of her building to move to another place closer to his office, he had started to pull away. They made plans to watch something together and he completely ghosted her. She's never heard from him since and told me she has an intuitive feeling that he went back to his ex who he apparently would talk about from time to time with her.
Lesson to be learned: Once again, these instances show us that men really can't be our friends and at any opportunity, they will proceed to cross the friend line and showcase their sexual intentions, which they harbour in secret from the start. Please don't believe that they "just started" liking you. Men know instantly if they're attracted to you from the jump or not. Remember that in their pursuit of their female friend, many of them have no problems being inappropriate, immoral and unfaithful to partners that they keep secret and never talk about.
Please leave your comments below on what you think and mention if you've had your own situations with male friends who were quietly biding their time; hoping they could get you to be more than friends with them! 🙄
I had a “friend” who wouldn’t take no for an answer when I said I wasn’t interested in him. He tried to guilt trip me and act like I was a bad person for not reciprocating his feelings. I’d recommend to any girls out there on dating apps or considering dating apps, DO NOT BEFRIEND THEM. You can see a former potential date as a friend but a guy won’t. Save yourself the time, unmatch and move on
I’ve never been the female friend, but my NVX had a lot of them when we started dating. At first, having very little experience with men, I thought it was ok, but then I realized after several months of relationship that he either had casual sex with his “friends” at some point or knew them via OLD apps just before we started to be serious. I asked him to cut ties with them, even though my suspicion wasn’t totally confirmed, because it made me uncomfortable knowing he still talked to them, or seeing his pickme “friends” flirting with him on social media, while we were in a serious relationship. He became irritated, angry. But ok, he would do it: “Happy now? I deleted all of them. Didn’t know you were possesive and I really don’t like it ” he then told me. His Instagram followers / following numbers dropped drastically. Having very little boundaries at this time, for years I believed I was the problem and that it wasn’t normal to be this jealous. I started a therapy to solve this but couldn’t stop thinking about this. FOR YEARS. And when he had the chance, he would tell me during a fight or casually that “because of you, I can’t have any female friend” or when he was learning to speak japanese: “You know, I really want to practice with a native speaker but because of your jealousy, I can’t do it with women” (Oh, did I mention that some of his female “friends” were Asian and that he seemed to have a clear preference for east Asian/Japanese women? Being of Asian descent myself, he didn’t understand my double concern). Months before we finally broke up and being seen as the crazy possessive girlfriend for years, I had access to his emails one day while he was sleeping. One of his former “friends” (he used to slept with of course) contacted him for work and asked him how he was doing. In his reply, not ONCE did he mentioned he was in a relationship. I then snooped around and decided to see for myself if the suspicions I had years ago were true. I saw an old conversation with one of his Asian friends he met on Okcupid (he told me then he was only talking to her because he found interesting that she was a Taiwanese photographer living in our European country and that nothing happened between them). And then I saw: months of conversation, of long paragraphs and pictures taken from his window he would sent at 4-5 am. Conversation that lasted when we started our relationship. Messages he would sent the night of my birthday, when I started to fall in love with him. Nothing sexual but still, I was horrified. Again, not one line about him being in a relationship, even though at that time, he’d already met my family. Another old conversation with another friend where he confirmed that indeed, he usually ends up sleeping with his female friends, one day or another. Oh boy, did I regret not dumping his ass on the spot when I knew about his female friends (that I never met once throughout the entire course of our relationship). Because I wasted so many years letting him convince me I was crazy and toxic. So much money wasted in therapy because I thought I had to fix something in me in order to fix our relationship. So much energy, tears and confidence after all these years enduring his abuse once he knew he was the prize. Luckily for me, our relationship ended shortly after that. So yeah, after being on the other side, I definitely don’t believe that straight men can be our friends, the way women can be. And I certainly won’t date men who want me to swallow that.
This could be a post alone but the last male "friend" I had put the nail in the coffin for never befriending men again. My first semester of college (fall 2019), I met a male classmate who was clearly attracted to me while having a girlfriend. I was going through a rough patch emotionally/mentally & took a break from my then boyfriend. During that break the classmate tried doing the most in "befriending" me such as:
Offered to buy me a game to play together within a week of meeting. I swiftly declined.
Always wanted to grab food one-on-one.
Wanted discord calls during 'scary hours' (after 10pm). I called him out once for this and all he respond with was that stupid f-boy laugh 🙄
Complained about his 'crazy' girlfriend who ~argues over nothing~ (more on this later)
Calling me his 'best friend' (we only knew each other for a month).
Kept asking for updates on if my bf & I were going to make up... out of 'concern' for my wellbeing...of course 🤥
His flirting eventually got more & more sexual. He would indirectly brag about his oral skills & being a selfless lover. He also sent a picture of some food he ordered from chick-fil-a & out of all the places he puts in on top of his crotch. He was in semi-tight briefs with a slight print showing 🤢🍤
Forgot to add: I made the mistake of telling him I lived alone & he always suggested coming over. Absolutely not! The one & only time we did hang out was in a public café.
He stated before that his gf was okay with him having a female friend & knows about them but I doubt he ever told her about me. This made me feel uneasy which was clearly my gut warning me. My intuition was right when he told me about a fight they had where she felt he was acting different and he wasn't spending time with her. The 'friend' she thought he was choosing over her was one of his bros. Hmm but I thought your gf knew about your female friend??? 🤔 But wait that's not even the worst part. This mf had the balls to tell me he'd leave her if a bad b*tch came along and gave him the opportunity, wtf! It was clear I was becoming an issue in their relationship & I don't want that type of karma in my life. I promptly started distancing myself from him. Eventually I got back with my bf and surprise surprise the classmate switched up. The daily conversations he initiated disappeared, he purposefully stopped viewing my ig stories, all of that. He suddenly starts making performative "my soulmate 😍" type of ig posts for his girlfriend. I felt really sad for her & a bit scared of him with his façade, almost like a light switch.
In the end, I cut him off but made the mistake of not blocking. Funny enough, he quickly noticed and blocked me instead. I thought that was the end of it until he popped up a month later asking why. Regrettably, I tell him that he was making me uncomfortable and that I noticed he switched up after I got back with my bf. Of course he gaslights me (🤡 iT wAsn'T LiKE ThAT 🤡), says he was actually "happy" that I made up with my bf, and reminds me that he's with the ~love of his life~ anyways 🧢. The cherry on top was his "sorry if you feel that way" half-assed apology. I kept it short with "yeah vibes were still weird" & left him on read with his final reply. The next day he blocked me again 💀 I guess he thought I would give him a second-chance, NOT! Still, I wish I never even gave him an explanation but hey, you live & learn. I am heavy on the #blockanddelete now though!
Looking back at it now, he tried preying on the vulnerability from my break in addition to being a "mister in distress" (villainizing his relationship). While this was all Pre-FDS, I do hold myself accountable for my lack of boundaries & entertaining that foolishness for as long as I did (just over a month). I used to be team "opposite genders can be platonic friends!" but this experience made all that go out the window! Moving forward I refuse to have male friends and to date men who keep female friends around. There's always going to be an ulterior motive with one of the parties, especially if there's an attraction.
Update: I found out through the grape vine that they broke up over this summer. Apparently she suggested opening up the relationship which ofc never works out & eventually sealed the deal. Such a full circle moment when he tried to use me to cheat on her & stroke his pathetic ego but eventually was dumped so she could fuck other men in peace. Chiii I have to laugh! Karma is real & it's always best served cold 😜
I honestly dont know how so many women can even befriend guys...no judgment to the women here, it seems like you guys had genuine intentions but since I was a kid befriending guys was never on my mind. Why would I hang out 1 on 1 with a guy I am not dating? Tell him all my secrets and have sleepovers with him? How will he even give me good advice when we dont share the same experience? I also dont see the point in investing any energy in being a friend to a man. Idk, I would rather spend that energy on a female friend where I know we wont catch feelings for each other. Especially because knowing myself, if I like a guys personality enough to be close friends with him, I would 100% catch feelings or vice versa. Its just too complicated.
Anyways, great post!
Yeah when you all them on their shit they always go into a tirade of gaslighting claiming it's not like that and trying to turn it back on you. I'm torn because on the one hand, they know it's true and we called them out for it so if they admit it or not we know he knows it's true, but on the other hand we don't want to give them tips to try and improve their tactics.
One of my male "friends" wanted to watch a movie and cuddle after he and his girlfriend got into a fight. He didn't want to normally do that, but the fight with him and his girlfriend triggered those feelings in him. That wasn't the trigger for some cute relationship either, he broke up with the girlfriend he was with and was dating someone else a few months later who made him delete all his social media profiles. 100% ego.