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I am a bi 24 f and autistic - I may be pan but I haven't looked into it much. I have a big dating experience with men but a very small one with women.
I always get rejected for being not curvy by the opposite gender. Also I feel like i can't build a deep emotional connection with them, I can't understand their needs, their communication style, the way they are socialized growing up.. they just feel something very different from me. I had lots of comments growing up from classmates asking me if I was a lesbian cause I didn't flirt with guys. I just found it difficult. I feel a lust type of attraction but not really romantic feelings or spending time with them.
I am from a very traditional country and when a woman isn't married past a certain age she is considered worthless and I think this is affecting me subconsciously a lot. I try to accept that the opposite gender doesn't like me and that I don't really see a relationship working out with one of them. They aren't attracted to me and I don't seem fully attracted either. Plus guys my age have high standards regarding physical appearance and they like a very certain type of women, while women cherish a bugger variety of women.
I tried quite recently to date a ND dude and he made a comment about how men usually like curvy women but he is willing to settle. I came forward about my insecurity about it and he didn't apologize. Plus he lost feelings and enthusiasm quite quickly and I did too. With women it's so much easier for me to understand them and be emotional and sweet.