I feel like I'm close to coming with terms that I am single

I feel very crappy about being single on a regular basis. I have faced lots of rejection from men.

I have autism and adhd and getting more and more specialist support with occupational therapies and everything. This has helped me feel less like I need a man to support me and take care of me.

Also I have had bad sex. BAD and disappointing. Men refusing to give oral or only thinking of how they will finish. Also lots of rejection like I said. And dudes negging me and pointing out a bunch of stuff they don't like about me. This has happened with like... 8 out 10 guys I was seeing as potential partners. (Trigger warning in the next sentence) I have dated 3 guys, they were abusive and one of them threatened to punch me. He was autistic too and he also called me gross for having body acne and not dressing hot enough for him during our dates.

And men having very high standards for women in looks and house keeping skills (while giving nothing much back).. a guy I was talking to made remarks that I'm not tidy enough and made a fuss..

At the same time in a marriage women now are able to work. So in a household women have to do everything. Work, do most of the house chores. Also get pregnant, give painful birth, raise the kids.

I just feel like as an autistic and ADHDer these will be difficult for me. I will constantly be anxious over pleasing another person just not to be alone and to feel loved. I still feel like the man will benefit more.. much more. While he will just get comfortable and I will get zero compassion.