“How are you going to cook for your husband later?”

Whenever someone asks 'how will you do x for your husband in the future' I just laugh and say 'he'll be doing that for me'

My mother did not actively pass these comments (yes, she did pass these misogynistic comments, but they were rare compared to what you describe). She tried to teach us as teenagers, but we didn't learn then. She taught my brother and I to cook in college(we took interest and asked her to teach us). My brother is a more natural and better cook than I am (his paneer makhani is 👌). But yes, she put equal pressure on both of us to learn how to cook and clean.

Take out exists for a reason, and besides, men can cook and clean if they want to. My mom’s mother in law used to shame me and my sister for reading all the time, telling us we should have been focused on trying to make our future husbands happy. I’m pretty sure that’s one reason why neither of us ever married.

My Pakistani mum said things like that, but always insisted on doing everything for me. I had to learn on my own. Now, I’m an instant pot and air fryer cook, and it’s actually kind of fun.

relevant(?) but i'd love to hear other womens' takes on this:

My mom didn’t teach me to cook, but she said she wants to teach my sis for this reason.

My mother still to this day tells me that I, the woman should cook for my husband if I ever marry, and I just tell her that I won't be the second mother of a manchild. Either he cooks or we both cook. I also tell her from time to time to let her sons participate in the household chores, like clean the dishes, swip the floor ect and she asks me if I'm crazy and tells me that men don't belong in the kitchen but I reject her ideologies and tell her that they should be, that they should cook and clean too because like you ladies said, those are not gender roles, those are basic life skills.

No, my Hispanic mother is exactly like that. Once she went as far as "hope your husband beats you for not cooking for him". Solution? Ive never been married. She never expected that curveball. She was constaly on my ass that I needed training to be a housewife and all it did was show me how much it sucks to be a wife.

It wasn't so explicit but yeah. Mother let brother get away with being feral while I was pressed into servitude. He's still feral to his wife, teaching his sons to be feral. I'm still over-functioning wifey to men who treat me like a maid. zzzz. Well, not anymore haha.

My upbringing wasn’t dramatic like that. It was just a silent expectation (too polite to discuss of course) but on Thanksgiving the men and then children were expected to do the dishes instead of the women so we were progressive people you know 🙃 The patriarchy is this silent looming beast, over us at all times. I’m sorry your mother was raised in a misogynistic culture. I don’t know if it helps, but I feel pity for women like that. She’s parroting what was brainwashed into her…ignorance isn’t an excuse but it is a reason. I think the common appeal of FDS is that it is militantly anti-misogyny. It’s the only safe space.